Trouble with 20 year old daughter

Jill - posted on 06/20/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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After being lucky enough vto stay home and raise my 2 daughters, I'm having serious difficulty dealing with my younger (20) daughter. She is very entitled, speaks to me angrily and viscously, has no respect for me and is rude to all members of our extended family. My problem is that any discipline I try to impose is completely dismissed. He pays for all!! Her expenses and they are extensive as well as expensive. She has no concept of the value of money. However, in public to others she is completely polite, friendly, hardworking and makes a very good impression. I have told my husband that I was not brought up to disrespect my parents or others and if I did privileges would be suspended. He refuses to back me up in any way other than saying don't bbe rude to your mother, which she disregards at the slightest question, comment and asking her to just pitch in to help around the house. I now tiptoe around, her ask nothing of her,and communicate to her through her sister. I know this isn't the right thing to do. She also a very angry person despite the fact that nothing happened in her childhood to insight this. I feel like I'm living in a family divided and I am the odd man out. Finally my marriage is not in a good place and I am physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted. Therapy of any kind with both my daughter and husband have been strongly refused. Can anyone help me with a way to approach this problem, I am desperate. Please help.

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Michelle - posted on 06/20/2016

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Has your husband ever backed you up while the children were young?
If not then your problems started when they were toddlers and it's hard to reverse 18+ years of what she has been allowed to do.
She's also an adult and has to live bu adult rules. If your husband won't back you up then there's not much I can suggest except leave him. If they won't go to counselling then they don't see any problems so they won't change.
Sorry but sometimes you just have to admit defeat and move on.

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