ungrateful, disrespectful attitude

Brandi - posted on 04/01/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My 13 year old daughter is constantly being unfriendly and negative. Unfortunately its not just her age. Despite being raised in a God loving, home by myself and my mother (my mom and I are both very laid back and glass full types) she continues to be negative, selfish and extremely ungrateful. She doesnt want to go to church or do anything that causes her to keep commitments. She will claim she doesnt like or or doesnt understand anything she doesn't feel like doing. Its very upsetting and emotionally draining. Any ideas?

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User - posted on 04/07/2014

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Where is her father?
Not having a father or father figure in her life can deeply impact her.
I'm not saying every child has that problem but most do.
That may be where her commitment issues lie.
I grew up in a church environment but I also went to a Christian school in a Christian community. I didn't know what was out there other than church. Maybe she sees her friends doing things and she is starting to get curious. Maybe someone is bullying her about her religion making her not want to go!

Sara - posted on 04/07/2014

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I think 13 is a very tender age and for now, I think you should allow her some space. when you find that she is in a better mood, have a talk with her about what she doesn't understand and explain it for her. But remember, we live in a free society where nobody has to be a particular religion and ideas or opinions cannot be forced about anybody. Answer her as truthfully as possible with a calm tone so the two of you can start building up trust. Maybe in time she may realize, actually, she does want to go to church or she may want to talk to you.
Sincere Regards,
Sara

Jodi - posted on 04/05/2014

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Actually it does just sound like her age. Personally, I wouldn't force her to go to church if she chooses not to go - it will only cause her to rebel more, especially if she is questioning her own beliefs right now. With other things, you can use her time with friends as currency. If she does all the right things, reward her with having a friend over. If she is rude and disrespectful, she is grounded from spending time with her friends. If she is ungrateful, give her something to be ungrateful for (i.e that dinner she gets served at night or have her do additional chores).

[deleted account]

she is 13 and at the age of rebellion. Sometimes a "small" win on her part won't ruin anything and will help her build her independence like she wants. Or maybe there is something wrong and she doesn't know how to talk to you about it.

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