Unhand Me You Fiend!!!

Maurissa - posted on 02/24/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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So, I'm at home with my 5mo girl all day every day! Don't get me wrong, I love it! I feel so fortunate that, especially in these hard times, my husband and I are able to pull this off. However, when girlfriends visit or even a select few family members drop by to see us, as soon as the baby is passed away from me and onto the "new" face, it's chaos! A full blown fit erupts and there is no calming her. Hysterically crying and reaching for either me or my husband. As soon as she's back in the arms of her mommy or daddy, she calms immediately and is once again happy and all smiles. Not only is it embarrassing, but it's a shame because, as much as I cherish our time together, I do look forward to seeing (and allowing her to meet and get to know) all our loved ones. Plus, it's great to get a little brake from holding her. My fear is that in time this will become an ongoing and increasingly worse issue. My problem is that Monday thru Friday, we are all the other one has. We teach each other, we entertain each other. Don't get me wrong, I don't hold and coddle her ALL day. She definitely gets her tummy time where she plays and explores without my interruption or involvement, and she does very well with this. I've enrolled us in a mommy and me gym class designed to develop social and interaction skills, but that's only once a week. Am I overreacting or does this have the potential to become a very big deal? And if so, what do I do with such a lack in options due to her age? Any and ALL suggestions will be greatly appreciated!

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Bethany - posted on 02/25/2010

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that won't last long, babies all go through a stage when only their primary care givers will do. If she finds she can rely on you, she will need you less and less, her mind will be at ease. Certainly don't feel embarassed. Just go with it, and accept the child she is.

With regards to socialising a 5 mo, you're wasting your money. You'll get some social time maybe, but kids aren't wired to need socialisation until they're about 2. Until then, they kind of just play beside each other, not with each other, and if they do, it's because they think the other child is this cool toy that moves and makes noises.

Lots of time with you and with Daddy will help more. Constantly talking to her describing what you're doing, pointing out every little thing to her, chat chat chat. Eventually, her brain will mature to a point where she can fit more caregivers in. Until then, she needs your support, not to be pushed into a mould she doesn't fit.

Sheree - posted on 02/25/2010

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Its completely normal, but if you want ideas on things you can do, you can go to a mothers group, libraries usually have groups for babies and toddlers to go along with their parents and sing and read books or swimming lessons can be started from 3 months of age. That way your LO is out with other babies and grown ups too. I have done all of the above and personally think the swimming lessons were the best :) Good luck with everything

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Stephanie - posted on 02/24/2010

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it's totally normal please don't worry tooo much over it although it may be embarrassing,anyone who has had children will absoultly understand.
just keep trying , vist with others and let your child slowly get to know to know the person and one day you will find your able to leave the room without incident, then maybe even have a little shopping trip to yourself, or a date night with hubby!!!

Valynn - posted on 02/24/2010

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I have a 5mth old too! Just like you we are together day in and day out, I LOVE IT! However he doesn't mind going to others with a smile. We go to the childrens gym and I also have a niece, who is 9mths, comes over every monday and friday with her mommy to play. That along with weekend outting with family and the very rare date night when we leave him with a grandparent, he is fine. The only thing is he does look for me. If he is with someone new or even familiar, he looks the room untill he sees me and then knows it's ok, and everything is fine. Perhaps you could put her in more situations where she plays with others more, or gradually have someone come over and you sit in another room, so she isn't so nervous about you not leaving her. Things will get better, she just REALLY LOVES her mommy!!

Maurissa - posted on 02/24/2010

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We had to move to a city about an hour and a half away from our family and freinds. I haven't yet met a whole lot of people, so leaving her with someone new isn't really an option right now. :(

Caitlin - posted on 02/24/2010

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My son was the exact same way. Since Ive stayed home with him since the day he was born he is very attatched to me. He's now two years old. But anyways..my husband and try to have a date night atleast once month. When my son was around your daughter's age he screamed his head off whenever I took him to my mother's to stay over night. It does get better. Just continue introducing her to other people. Leave her with a relative or someone you trust for maybe on hour a couple times a week and she'll get used to being around other people. Try searching in your area for a "Mommy's Morning Out" program. That will give her a chance to intereact with children her age. You owe it to yourself to have to "Me" time. Hang in there! As I said before, it will get better.

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