Uninvolved/Uninterested Grandparents

Sharon - posted on 12/28/2014 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My parents live about 3 hours away from their grandchildren who are 15 and 8 years old. I have asked them repeatedly when are they coming to visit all they say is that they are busy or tired. I have driven to see them in August and another time before that. My parents think that I should come to them and that I should bring the kids to them. Let me just say my parents are in good health, very well off financially, and they just bought a luxury car ($90,000 +), so there is no reason to come to visit. My family is not that well off nor do we own a luxury car. My oldest just asked his grandfather when he was coming to visit him and his reponse was "Well sooner or later we'll come". Then he handed the phone over to his grandmother. I just don't get it??? They have 3 other grandchildren that live in the same city as them and they would drop anything for them. Yes I do understand that those grandchildren live in the same city so of course they would get more attention, but what about my kids? My 15 year old is catching on very quickly and is starting to see how they don't visit. He has asked "Why don't they ever come over?" That breaks my heart and I don't know how to respond.

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Jodi - posted on 12/30/2014

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Come straight out and ask them more directly. Ask them why they gave one grandkid $100 and the other $75. Straight out ask. Just like that. Ask them why they never come to visit and explain exactly as you have explained here how you feel, how your kids feel. See if that will illicit either a more honest response or some form of positive action.

Lena - posted on 12/29/2014

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Maybe asking them out right what the problem is and why they won't visit. I just recently moved back to my home town after being away for almost 9 years. My mother only visited us twice in all that time. She never sent B-day cards or presents to the children. When I moved back and saw how she spoiled my niece and nephew I was hurt. I get that I chose to move away but why treat the children different.

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Sharon - posted on 12/30/2014

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Yes I have asked and I get the run around answer. They say their too busy or their tired. When the summer rolls around they drive to the beach and their lake house. I never get a straight foward answer and if I keep on asking they just say "We'll see."

Jodi - posted on 12/30/2014

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And did they give you a reason for the favouritism? Did they tell you why they never come and visit?

Sharon - posted on 12/30/2014

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All the grandkids get treated differently. There are 5, 3 live in the some town as my parents and the other 2 are mine(out of town). For Christmas one grandkid got $100 mine got $75, because that was half of what they spent on my sons birthday gift which happens to be December as well. I'm just at the point of accepting the fact that my kids will always get the short end of the stick!!

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