Urgent help potty training...after 2 months she still poo in her panty!

Loris - posted on 05/13/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I don't know what to do, I am gonna cry! sometimes she tells me sometimes she pooes and she says afterwards, with number 1 she is much better and seldom accidents, last week 3 days accidents free, then I dont know why she started to poo again, now her stools are a bit runny but still helppppppppppppppp

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Bobbie - posted on 05/15/2012

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I feel for you and understand your frustration. Please know that she isn't being forgetful or any other emotions towards the training. She is simply thinking with a two years mind. She has a short attention span, active imagination and many, many thoughts. Try this, it is amazing how it works. Pick a song that she dearly loves to sing that you also like to sing with her. (not the ABC song or anything run of the mill) I actually made a song up for both of my children while they were potty training but a ready made song would be one that takes a while to sing. fun example...."this old man he played one, he played nic nac on his thumb with a nic nac patty wack give your dog a bone. this old man came rolling home" Humming it is fun too.

Step 1- don't force the issue of her remembering to go every time. Think of it as a brand new day with a new game plan.
Step 2 - when you go to the bathroom take her in the room with you and as you sit there for both number one and number two,sing the little song to yourself, and half hum it. Each time you go to the bathroom hum or sing and have her with you.
Step 3 - Each and every time she is on the potty just smile and hum or sing the song. Have a regular conversation with her that has nothing to do with going to the potty. The only potty talk should be when she says she is finished. Smile do the steps to finish her hygiene and leave the room. Casually say to her, "that was fun". Don't ask her if she had fun, liked it, no questions at all. Many parents asks so many questions of their training little ones that the poor child is frustrated not by the act of going but by the flood of questions and talking. Have you ever tried to focus on doing something new while someone won't stop speaking to you?
Step 4 - Each time that she goes potty in the right place it is a celebration, but each time she doesn't there is nothing. No talks, no bribes, no conversation, especially no change in tone or facial expression from you, simply no attention what so ever.
Results.....She has fun with mommy and her brain is allowed to take focus off of the sensations going through her body to urinate and devoid. She experiences these new sensations without forethought or focus, they just happen. Each time she begins to feel these new sensations she will get the brain signal to go to the potty. Her reward for listening to the signal, IN TIME, is a fun relaxing sing a long with mommy. When she goes potty and she is singing away the relaxing environment will make the "let down" sensations transition quickly as well.
Additional new tool - When you learn her schedule as you probably already do, you will pick up on her body language that she is getting ready to devoid. Usually a normal span of time after a certain meal for example. Rather than asking her if she wants to go potty, simply start humming the song. It will gently send a signal to her brain that her body is signally her to go.
Children potty trained in this manner learn that trying new things are fun and without demands on them to preform. It usually goes very fast, or maybe it just feels that way because you don't feel on potty duty and full alert 24/7 :) But....you are not in a race. Remember your child is special to you and it's no ones business if she goes all the time, once in a while or whatever. Simply say "we are having fun with it and taking it one day at a time" That will relieve the stress from you too. (little children DO know what you are discussing by the way, even when they seem distracted and not listening. When she hears nothing but positive feed back about her self she will gain more confidence and so will you)
By the way, my daughter potty trained earlier than the "norm" and my son was very late. Same mother, same age at start of training as well as same manner of training so go figure :)
Have fun, sing a song and and hum your way through it.

Medic - posted on 05/14/2012

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My daughter is 2 years and 4 months and only goes sometimes when she wants. We have not really pushed the issue because she is apparently not ready. Our son was done at 24 months and trained in less than a week but he was ready, our daughter will be ready in her own time.

Jennifer - posted on 05/14/2012

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The average age for being potty trained is 30 months. Remember that is just an average. Some kids are potty trained before then, some after. She just hasn't gotten it completely. She will. Sounds like you have done a great job so far. Keep up the good work. We all wish they could be potty trained as soon as possible, but it has to happen in their time, not ours.

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Jill - posted on 05/19/2012

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She's on the young side for being toilet trained. It's not impossible by any means, but what you're experiencing with her is completely normal. It may be quite some time before she is accident-free, so try to relax. Maybe use cloth training pants instead of regular underwear to save yourself some mess.

Michelle - posted on 05/19/2012

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She might not be ready yet. None of my boys were actually ready until they were between ages 3 and 4. When they were ready they told me and they were day and night trained. Just because a child shows interest when they are young doesn't mean they are actually ready. All mine showed interest around 2 - 2 1/2 years, but they weren't actually ready yet.

It will happen when your daughter is ready not when you are ready. Do not pressure her. Unless she has an actual physical problem all kids get potty trained.

Loris - posted on 05/15/2012

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my son was potty trained at 23 months, in a week as well, learned very quick, I think it became a habit for her and I need to brake it, but don't know how :-(

Loris - posted on 05/14/2012

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she is 2 years and 3 months now, we started at 2 years, I haven't talk to the Dr.
she is not scared of the toilet, sometimes she tells me and she goes sometimes she doesn't.
she seems to forget when she is playing or watching tv

Medic - posted on 05/13/2012

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How old is she? If done when the child is actually ready it should not take more than a few days.

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