Vengeance

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 09/17/2011 ( 27 moms have responded )

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What would YOU do if your spouse forgot your birthday?

Do tell, any and all details ideas and comments welcome! :)

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[deleted account]

Don't let it ruin your relationship hon. Like I said, I forget dates ALL the time and if my hubby were to divorce me for it I would feel horrible, he knows I have a bad memory when it comes to dates and so does every single one of my friends and family members. I think part of the problems with relationships today (just in general) is that the media and retail outlets put so much emphasis on holidays and special occasions that people feel obligated to do things and I honestly don't think it should be like this. I don't think there is anything wrong with reminding him if it's important to you but don't get upset if he doesn't remember and if he doesn't remember ask him if you can take him to dinner for your birthday. Some of these are really good advice. Don't withhold things from him, don't try to get back at him by not wishing him a happy birthday on his, and don't call him names. It won't help anything. Are there possibly other things that are making you so upset about this? Sometimes, when we are upset about other things going on, we let one little thing become a huge problem. Just a thought. This is just my opinion but I think some people need to grow up and realize that everyone makes mistakes and unless you are perfect you have no right to expect someone else to be perfect (this is not directed at you Niki).

Tamara - posted on 09/20/2011

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I honestly wouldn't be with a man who didn't treat me like a queen all year round like I wasn't the center of his world every single day so the one day of the year wouldn't matter, I am not talking showering me with gifts all the time, I'm talking letting me sleep in once in a while and getting the kids off to school, or making me a special break fast, maybe sim points, a foot rub, helping prepare dinner, sitting down and having a serious heart to heart, taking time every single day to make sure that I know that I am the one and only person in his heart and that I am the one person he wants to sit on the porch with and watch the grand kids run in the yard with. To me that is whats important in life not remembering One day out of the whole year, that I just don't understand, people have busy lives to have to always remember these things. some people just aren't wired to do that and to get bitched at for isn't right. I wouldn't want to remember if I would get yelled at for not remembering if i just couldn't remember. and I have a great memory when it comes to dates, heck I remember my first boy friends birthday Dec 9

Anna - posted on 09/19/2011

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My husband is not very good with remembering dates;and we both once forgot about our anniversary until in the evening when my sis-in-law wished us a Happy Anniversary.I couldn't believe I actually forgot,cuz I never forget things like that.But,I guess when we are busy,sometimes it's easy to forget things.I wouldn't be too hard on him,and if you care about your relationship you will forgive him and not make a huge deal about it.It's only our selfishness that gets us upset over such issues;and if we want a good marriage there is not too much room for selfishness.I'd say,if you wanna do anything,one thing that would make him feel bad and would just serve as a joke , is if you would go buy yourself a birthday cake and when dinner is over,bring it out and sing happy birthday to yourself. Wish you the best!!

Rebecca - posted on 09/19/2011

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REMEMBER: when you write on his forehad go left to right. yad2 yadhtrib sacceb = beccas birthday 2day

Cindy - posted on 09/19/2011

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Niki, I've taken a training on Understanding Men; She said be a "Happy Pop-up" "Wow, Honey, what should we do to celebrate my BD on Saturday?" "My Birthday's tomorrow; are you serving me breakfast in bed?" In this stage of life, they're focused on work and if you forget his birthday as a retaliation, it could start you down a sad path.

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Kacie - posted on 09/20/2011

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I also want to add that im not getting the whole 'vengeance' thing. its a little childish, IMO. i mean, dont YOU ever forget anything!?

Kacie - posted on 09/20/2011

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just remind him and go out to eat where i want another night. people forget, especially if work is stressful.

Carol - posted on 09/20/2011

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If it's deliberate that's one thing, but if he really just forgot - forgive the guy. Next year enlist the help of a friend to remind him or do what someone else suggested and remind him yourself. My brother is famous for forgetting family birthdays. We remind him a few days before and then the day of a birthday. It's become more of a game. I'll call him to remind him that it's my twin's birthday and halfway through the conversation he'll remember that we're twins and say happy birthday. I know he loves me either way.
It sounds like you're pretty hurt by him forgetting. Nicely let him know, hopefully he'll try to make it up to you and show you that he cares about you.

Philipa - posted on 09/19/2011

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Withhold bedroom pleasures for 6 months, he'l never forget again!! Lol though mine never forgets he just buys me what he wants...ie DVDs!! Grrr

Jodi - posted on 09/19/2011

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As I said, only an asshole forgets his wife's birthday......enough said. I don't think it is forgiveable. There is no excuse for it. It's lazy and selfish.

Stifler's - posted on 09/19/2011

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I would be pissed off and deliberately "forget" his. And to make dinner for him.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 09/19/2011

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Yeah, he knew when my birthday was though and he's used the same excuse in the past to explain why he has forgotten other important holidays 'I thought it was another day this week' how many times can he 'forget' or misplace days before it's just him being an asshole? Sorry, I'm almost at my wits end in our relationship so this feels like the last straw. I don't even feel like I can forgive him for it

Hayley - posted on 09/19/2011

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he would never forget mine due to me reminding him several weeks before every day lol!! but if i didnt and he forgot id be upset, woudnt nessasarily do anything, as i know he would be so asshamed offorgetting it and grovel for days after lol

Sharon - posted on 09/18/2011

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Ok, I know I would chew him out. That would make me feel better. lol Then I would forget his when it came around.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 09/18/2011

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Good idea!!!!!!!!! I am so going to do that next year....... no joke. With a sharpie.

Rebecca - posted on 09/18/2011

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mine has done this a few times. I think this year I am going to paint a messege on his forehead though. That way when he wakes up he'll see it when he looks in the mirror: BECCA'S BIRTHDAY 2DAY

[deleted account]

My husband has no problem remembering dates, he even reemembers the exact day I moved in with him. He remembers everything when it comes to things like that but I have absolutely no memory. I always forget things like birthdays and our anniversary. I always have. People in my family know that I will usually forget the day of but I will call the day before or the day after because that's when I do remember. We have never gotten gifts for eachother though; not for birthdays or holidays. He will buy me flowers on his way home from work sometimes, I will buy him a gift when he doesn't expect it. We have never put an emphasis on gifts and holidays though. For us it has always been about our kids. We both had a child from a previous marriage when we got together. But I like our spontanaity (sp?) we never expect anything from eachother and I think too many couples get in too many arguments over this. Why should you be expected or expect to get or give a gift to someone. Love is the best thing you could give anyone and you should show them you love them without gifts or with being spontaneous rather than feeling obligated to get them a gift or expecting one on a certain day.

Tina - posted on 09/18/2011

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Mine has never forgotten but if he did ,i will ensure he bought whatever I wanted and also take me out.

Cara - posted on 09/18/2011

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Mine has never forgotten mine either. Just a thought i had when i read the question. lol

[deleted account]

Hes never forgot my birthday but he has forgot our anniversary, he has a terrible memory so i dont really blame him. I just make sure i remind him a few days before now.

Sal - posted on 09/18/2011

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he did forget xmas once....i told him if he can't be bothered i'll get my own.....he can't afford for me to have a make myself happy shopping trip....but seriously hubby is the worst shopper on earth. so i just don't feel guilty buying something nice when i want it....i recently had a girls weekend in the wineries no guilt
n

[deleted account]

If my husband forgot my birthday, truly forgot my birthday, as in "POOF NOT IN MY HEAD" forgot....then I'd set him up an appointment with a counselor or therapist. We practically share a birthday (I'm 7/10 and he's 7/12) so if he ever forgot then I'd be worried about him lol Our birthday is always a big bash......he'll be in full onset Alhzheimer's before he forgets a party on the BDAY! LOL

But if he ever did.......honestly? I'd cry.

Jodi - posted on 09/17/2011

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Well, I know my husband would never forget my birthday, so I've never really thought about what I'd do. Only an asshole would forget his wife's birthday!

Cara - posted on 09/17/2011

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I'd simply "forget" his birthday when it came around and I'd also make sure to thank every person that DID remember and make sure he heard me thanking them.

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