Very lonely, how do you cope?

Megan - posted on 12/06/2008 ( 54 moms have responded )

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Hi Everyone,



I'm new and excited to have a board to share issues with.



I am a SAHM and my husband works 6 sometimes 7 days a week. I work only 2 days because I need to get out of the house, but my daughter comes to work with me. Anyway, she is 3 1/2 and we have another one on the way.



I am very lonely. I have no friends with children, none the less married, and we live an hour from any family. I have tried to make friends down where we live by doing mommy classes, going to the gym, etc., but am not making any connections.



I just am losing it a bit. I am worried with #2 on the way, I will find myself just a mess after the new baby comes. Any suggestions on how to deal with being so lonely?



Sad Meg

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Darla - posted on 12/23/2008

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I can tell you from experience, you will gain a family you've never know before, if you find a church to attend. There's something about joining God's Children together, that helps bind the broken and lonely hearts. You'll have something in common, plus be able to find peace in the Lord. I've been in church all my life, and a new mom 4 years, ago, and my church family has become closer to me than my immediate family. Good luck...God Bless You...

Kathy - posted on 12/23/2008

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Hi - first I would like to say that this site is nice. I think all of us SAHM's feel the same way at times and don't even realize it. But just by coming here and expressing your feelings (to me) is a great help already. Keeping it in is toxic to the body and mind.



Okay enough of that :o) - I completely understand how you feel as well as what others are saying too. I have my ups and downs as well - so you are NOT alone in that sense.



I lost my mom when my daughter was 6 mos old (she is now 2). I live about 50 miles south of Chicago and have been here for 6 years. I have my momemts where I feel the need to connect with someone - but realistically, I need to reconnect with myself. I believe whats important is to NOT rely on other people to make you happy. You have to make yourself happy first. How to do that exactly? Well I guess it's like this quote..."Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change."

Dr Wayne Dyer



I am probably babbling up a storm and I am sorry for that....here is the best way I guess I can describe it. Long story short (hopefully - lol)....



My friend moved to Arizona after a relationship break-up and I went out to visit her. We went out for some drinks and I was being approached by guys who were flirting with me buying drinks - whatever. Mind you, this was a long time ago (hee! the good old days). Anyways she was so upset and felt insecure because no one was approaching her. I had asked her which guy would she approach? This really cute guy walks in but his head is down, no smile, no confidence at all....OR same guy - walks in with his head held high - showing complete confidence. I believe people sense things and generally want to surround themselves with that confidence as well - because it feels good. Feeling positive - knowing that no matter what - it's all good. Law of Attraction.



Please forgive the babbling - I hope I made sense. I do have to go now cuz the little one is up. Hope I helped a little atleast. Here is another quote for you...



Love the Life you Live – Live the Life you Love



Kathy -

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54 Comments

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Misty - posted on 03/16/2011

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It took me 2 years to find friends when we first moved to Greensboro. I was very sad a lot too. I posted on here that i needed friends in my area. I found a few moms that lived not even a few minutes from me. You should try that. i hellps so much to speak to an adult

Ashleigh Jade - posted on 03/14/2011

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I no how you feel meg, i moved a year ago and still havent made any new mummy friends. Unfortunetly i cant tell you how to deal with it as i dont know how to either!

Misty - posted on 03/13/2011

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Meg, check out your local MOPS group! www.mops.org (mops is Mothers of Preschoolers) I would have been so lost without mine! I found it when my son was 4 months old and it made a HUGE difference for us! We do toy swaps, clothes swaps, scrapbook days, craft days, movie nights...it is so fun! And even better, I made friends who are very different from me but who have the same priorities: our kids, our families, and our husbands!

Melissa - posted on 01/20/2009

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I joined a stay at home moms group on Meetup.com in my area. I now have 5 good friends that I have had for 3 years and my daughter has some good friends because of it. I would try that route.

Kathleen - posted on 01/20/2009

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i think everyone should put down where they are so that everyone can see they are probably right near someone on this conversation.. since we all being stay at home moms have felt lonley and getting other moms at playgroups etc.. to talk is like being in high school again or like pulling teeth...

i am in albany ny

Deirdre - posted on 12/27/2008

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Meg,
My husband works about 80 hrs. a week so I know how you feel. I was lonely until I decided to do something about it. I love to sing and joined our local theatre - wow, you can really meet people there. However, I've met the most amazing women with my home-based business (Arbonne)... the women are NICE and empower each other to succeed. If you're looking for an outlet - and a way to earn money, I can find a local meeting for you. Hope that helps, Deirdre

Carol - posted on 12/23/2008

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Ya you have it better than others. I am a stay home mom. I dont have any friends that have children. I live in the middle east where there are no such thing called play dates and mommy classes. I have no one to babysit my 1 year and 9 month son, so I dont do anything for myself, as in the gym or socialize. My husband works all day and doesnt really bother when he is at home. So I know exactly what you mean by LONELY. I think everyone deals with it however it would suit them to soothe their soul. Some try to talk to their loved ones. Some try to create new hobbies where you can be exposed to meeting other moms. Just try to make an effort to meet people, whether it is at the gym, work or wherever. Things can change if you want them to. And everyone is a mess right after a baby. I'm still a mess and my child is almost 2! Goodluck!

Sarah - posted on 12/23/2008

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5 years ago i moved from texas to nj and didn't know anyone. i moved for my husband. sometimes i feel lonely but i get thru. im always here if u need to talk to someone. i made friends thru my husbands job. there not good friends but it helps not being sooo lonely. u will get thru. go to the park and meet moms that way who have kids around ur daughters age. that might help. ask them for a play date or something

Ashley - posted on 12/23/2008

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Yea it is true.. Hang in there..

Slade is 9 months and I cant tell you how lonely I was!!! IT was awful!! I didnt thinkit would ever get better and wondered how anyone could ever enjoy this! It gets soo much better........

[deleted account]

Sorry, I don't have time to read all the previous responses, but have you looked into the MOMS Club? They have chapters around the world and provide social activities and play groups for kiddos (and sanity for us moms). All my best mommy friends I met through this group. Here's the link: http://www.momsclub.org/links.html

Amy - posted on 12/22/2008

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go to momsclub.org to find the nearest moms group near you. I have been a part of mine in my area for almost 3 years now and we have made alot of great friends.We got involved in playgroups and fun local events. Its a nice support group. hope this helps! also check out your library there are always free programs there too.

Skylar - posted on 12/22/2008

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I joined a community MomsClub (MomsClub is an international nonprofit organization, and they probably have chpaters in your area) as well as a MOPS group (another international organization, this one specifically Christian, that probably has local chapters in your area) to stay connected with the outside world and make friends. And I admit to spending a lot of time on the internet on and off throughout the day at discussion boards and the like. MomsClub was probably the biggest help to me. When I started, they had weekly playdates as well as monthly Moms Nights Out (without the kids) and holiday parties and the like, and they were all people with at least one kid under 5, so they were in the same walk of life as me. (People tend to drop out once all their kids are in full time school, but the friendships they formed remain.) MOPS, another group, is specifically for mothers of preschool kids, and they often provide childcare during events so you get a break as well. I'd suggest you look into both and see if there is a chapter in your area, becuase it sounds like you will have two under 5. It's worth a try anyway. If you try either group, I'd give it 2-3 meetings for either group before you decide, but for me, the MomsClub especially was a lifeline. Here's the website: http://www.momsclub.org/

Misty - posted on 12/22/2008

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I can relate to you as well. We just moved to NC from PA. My husband has family here but I do not. And to make it worse I am really close with my family and his family it seems like we still live 8 hours away. I have tried the mommy groups and they were all much older than me. Looking at me like I am an alien for having a kindergartner at 25 well 26 now. But I still have not made any friends. I rely on my friends from PA. I blow up there text messaging or I just stare at this computer wondering if there is another lonely mom that wants to be friends. That sounds so silly but its true. Back home I had all the friends that I grew up with and my family. Here Its just me and the kids and of course dad but he is often at work or stuck in some football game.ha I guess it is time to take a big girl pill and do more of those corny things just to find adult conversation.

Nicole - posted on 12/21/2008

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I think that friends after you have kids are somewhat overrated. They must be right cause most women with kids don't have em! I live in the same house i grew up in and I don't have the same friends as when i was growing up. Try church. Not to get all religious on you but there are a lot of women there and they always have group things. Not to mention they have a nursery where you can put the little ones while you get the sermon too!!!

Katrina - posted on 12/20/2008

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Oh - a coupel other ideas...



1. Won't help you make friends necessarily - but sometimes churches have Mommy's Day-Off, might help you just to get some alone time!



2. Find a hobby! I have recently gotten heavy into blogging, and a stay at home business, and I can barely find time to get anything done - no more lonely for me!

Katrina - posted on 12/20/2008

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Hey - don't forget to just try making friends with people that you may meet at the grocery store or something. I had calling cards made up so that when I do meet someone like that in an impromptu moment, I can just give them one of my cards! I live in germany and meeting anyone who speaks English at all is a challenge!



Are there any women's clubs in the area? What about a community center (also a great way to find activities for your kids during winter months) or library?



Does your husband have any work colleagues with wives/ children you could invite over for dinner?

Terri - posted on 12/20/2008

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I joined a mom's group in my community. It was $25 a year and we go to a playgroup once a week and they have other activities you and your children can participate in.

Here is a link to their website: www.momsclub.org I think they are nationwide so you should be able to find one in your community. I hope that helps, I know it helped me a lot. It gets boring staying at home.

Jessiah - posted on 12/20/2008

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Oh man, I feel like i'm reading a letter from myself. It's so hard when your husbamnd works long hours. I moved to a small town form a big city and I just don't feel like I fit in here. You can msg me if you ever want to talk.

Ginger - posted on 12/19/2008

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I kinda know what you are going thru. My hubby deployed 3 wks after out daughter was born& I decided to stay at home. My family lives an hour from me and I didn't know any other SAHM's. Some days it was more than I could deal with. The good news is that I did get through it! The best thing that I did was to put my little girl in a 2 day a week preschool. It gave me some time to myself and I met other moms. I cant say that I have developed a "relationship" with the other moms, at least not outside of dropping off and picking up our kids. BUT, we usually hang out in the parking lot after drop off and talk. Keep going to the mommy classes or the gym simply because it does give you some interacton with other adults however little it may be. Maybe even try a sewing class or scrapbooking class, whatever you may find interresting.

Kathy - posted on 12/19/2008

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I could NOT have gone through these 21 months without the help of friends and family.



How does your daughter socialize? I would say just keep trying. Obviously you are not going to like all moms...but you will find a few who you really can relate too. Good luck.

Rene' - posted on 12/19/2008

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As you can read, there are many moms just like you. I would encourage you to find a M.O.P.S. group (Mothers of Preschoolers). These ladies are just like you and usually meet together once or twice a month, usually at an area church. I was a part of one for a while & it really helps with the lonliness.



Also, you might want to try finding a good church to be a part of. THere your entire family could find the friends that you all need. Look online for both (mops.org). Not every woman is into being "clicky" and you can find the friend you most desire and need.



Please let us know how you are doing.

Tasha - posted on 12/19/2008

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I'm not really sure what mom classes are, they sound great. I have met lots of moms at my local playgroup- it definately took a while of just sitting there playing with my daughter before conversations start- then it was about each other's kids. After a while new moms started coming who weren't part of a click so we have become friends and try our hardest to include all the new moms that come. Keep your chin up and keep trying. Being a mom is the hardest and most rewarding job there is.

Deirdre - posted on 12/17/2008

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Dear Sad Meg,
I was exactly where you are now - but it was years! My husband is a homicide detective and always gone.. I have 3 kids of my own and raised a niece. I finally found a group to belong to that gave me lots of Girl Friend Time and also is providing me with a flexible schedule and lots of income potential. Check out my website for more information ...www.formyfamily.myarbonne.com This will change your life... I promise! I now have a future and I'm a much happier mom to my kids! Deirdre

Michelle - posted on 12/17/2008

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Do you have Gymboree gym or Little Gym nearby? Enrolling her in classes where parents have to stay is great. You can meet other moms with children your daughter's age.

Shannon - posted on 12/17/2008

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I am going through this situation too. I keep running into women who only talk about their kids, and/or want to compare them to mine in some way. I just want to have adult conversations and whoop it up a little every once in awhile. I am the girl who used to always have lots of guy friends because they were more fun, and not so fake or clicky. Now all I meet are gushy moms everywhere, as if being a stay at home mom means you have to be a Stepford wife or something. I just moved from Saint Louis to Mission, Texas. My family is 5 hours away, so I am a little closer to them now, but I might as well be in Siberia. I am right on the border of Mexico and Texas now. It is a far cry from a city size that I am used to, and the people I have been meeting mainly only speak Spanish. I am not religious, and because I don't feel particularly comfortable dancing and singing "Wheels on the Bus" with an audience (other than my two children), I spend a lot of days being depressed in my pajamas. I met one very cool mom down the street, but they have more money to spend on classes and preschool, so they are often busy. When the kids are in bed I just turn on the television and have a glass of wine or two. My husband is being really great and trying to be supportive, but I feel like I am "bad at this" or something. It is really nice to see that there are many others who feel the same way, and that it seems like we are all just being our own worst critics. It'll get better. I just have to be patient. I think that is what you should do as well, be patient.

Emily - posted on 12/17/2008

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I have so been there. My breakthrough finally came when some random girl from church invited me to a La Leche League meeting when I was 8 months pregnant with #2. After a few meetings another women from there invited me to join a moms group she was putting together. Now, 2 1/2 years later there's a ton of moms that I can hang out with and we have an online group so sometimes a mom will just post and say something like, "I need a mom's night out, who wants to meet me at Applebee's?" It's really fun.

If you're planning to breastfeed, or at least try breastfeeding, look up your local LLL group. Even if they're not your type of people, they may know of some other groups in the area. Also, check out yahoo groups or something like that, there are a lot of mommy groups specifically for playgroups and such where you can find friends.

Finally, don't give up, and try to be more outgoing. I found one problem with finding other mom friends is that they aren't very likely to start a conversation or invite me out to lunch or something, because they're just as busy and shy as I am. Just ask other moms, they may be looking for the same thing you are.

[deleted account]

I feel for ya! I moved to a new city and away from all my friends and family a month before my 2 month old daughter was born. I didn't have any time or energy to go out and make friends before she was born and after...well, you know how exhausting it is. I had a crazy bout of the baby blues and felt so alone. I cried A LOT. Are you interested in or do you go to church? There was a little church near our house and we made it there....the people were so welcoming and warm it made me feel more at home...more connected to a family of some sort. They brought us dinners and made us feel special. Church is a GREAT way to recieve encouragement, support and a good place to find warm and loving friends...many who have children as well. Just a thought??!! This is what brought me great comfort when I was so down.

Liz - posted on 12/17/2008

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Hey all

I am deffinately in the same boat as you. My husband works away for 2 weeks at a time (then home for one) and I have two daughters. Sinead is almost 3 and keeley is two months old. We moved to Perth (western Australia) in January from a small country town where I had alot of family and a great mothers group.My parents and all these mums are now a 4 hour drive away. Now in the city I am finding it really hard to meet other Mums who want to be friends. It seems that everyone is too busy when I ask for playdates as they all work part-time and have plenty of of their own friends to hang out with.

When I start getting "the crazies', I put both kids in the pram and go for a walk or go to the shopping centre and window shop. It helps to clear my head and quite often there are plenty of little old ladies who want to chat and tell me what a marvellous job Im doing and that my girls are so beautiful. It really cheers me up and gives me strength.

Amanda - posted on 12/15/2008

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Seems like you got some great responses and I'm sad to see so many moms sharing in the lonliness. Unfortunatley I guess it goes with the job! I think the thing that beats this is intentionally making sure you have face-to-face contact with other women regularly! Facebook is great but it is NOT the cure. It's the lifeline for those horrible days but nothing beats a girl's movie night or a playdate or a moms group. Try MOPS. They have groups nationwide...actually internationally I think. go to MOPS.com or .org and you can try and locate one in your area. Try looking at local churches for women's groups or moms groups till you find one you like. Try meetup.com too

Christine - posted on 12/15/2008

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Hi Meg-
I felt that way when I had my first child too. I soon found an ad in the newspaper for the MOMS club. I'm not sure where they live but they are an international non-profit organization that is for SAHM's that need support/adult contact during the day. I have been a member for a year and a half now and have made lots of friends through this. You can look up your town on the website www.momsclub.org. If there are no chapters in your area, you can contact them and start your own if you want! I hope this helps!

Shannon - posted on 12/11/2008

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Angela, I would love to meet you! you are one amazing woman, where are all the woman like you you in the world. your story is so moving and it has helped me see that there is a light, If you ever want to chat sometime my email address is shannonvamplew@hotmail.com. I am gald you posted your story many woman will be touched. I am having a heck of a time meeting woman in my community, I stay in my pj's mostly all day I try to avoid going out as much as I can, I will never give up, thank you!

Nicole - posted on 12/10/2008

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I know you are going nuts with no friends but to be honest I think I would rather have NO friends than ones who never call or invite you to do things or really even seem to care. I have a group of friends, or so called friends that we used to go out shopping or to lunch or whatever, just the girls and kids, but since I had my daughter no one calls me or invites me out. I am always the one calling them. So i just stopped calling them. They arent people who I need to be worring about. Just take time for yourself and your 3 year old. Once the baby comes you are not going to be able to spend as much time with your 3 year old. So do some special things with that child, go to a petting zoo, a bounce house, or to the movies. I would rather be by myself then deal with the crappy people who try and call themself my friends!

My husband is a teacher, so he spends ALOT of time grading homework, coaching baseball, and dealing with parents who only care about their kids when they are in major trouble. So needless to say he isnt home much.

Good Luck! Keep us posted on the pregnacy!

Remeber you always have all of us!

Krystyna - posted on 12/10/2008

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If you havent already make time for yourself as much as you can before your baby is born.

I''ve read all the posts, and a lot of us have been where you are, and some of us still are.

My story in a nutshell is that we've moved every year for 4 years in the US, and our last move was to Canada, to a city I despise!. All this started when our twins were 6 months old and then I had another baby when they were 22 months old. So 3 children under 3 years old have lived in 5 different places. There wasnt much time or opportunity to make friends. We were always exhausted and trying to get settled. Even people I did meet seemed too busy or preoccupied with their own lives to make time for me.

I was severely stressed, depressed, even suicidal. I was ready to throw in the towel and totally walk away. All the moves and being home by myself with 3 babies and no help was enough! I had reached my breaking point.

Now that we've been in Canada almost 2 years, I have met some people/acquaintences through mostly church and cultural events. Believe it or not, the ones that I have befriended the most are immigrants. We actually have something in common...moving to a new and strange city not knowing anyone. I truely feel like an immigrant.

Are there any people at work that you connect with? or any other social places like church? If so, invite them out for a coffee and see how that goes.

Connections, like relationships take so much time.

I actually enjoy the alone time I have going to the gym or grocery shopping. I've realized that I may or may not make friends. But in the meantime, I'm taking care of myself at last and making time for me.

I'm also on the computer a lot looking for a connection and support. This site for SAHM is an awesome idea. It gives us an outlet and the support we need from women that understand.

We're all here for you. Don't loose yourself and dont stop trying to connect. Someone is out there waiting to befriend you.

Dont be sad. You have a whole world of friends right here ready to talk to you.

Deanna - posted on 12/10/2008

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Hey Meg,

I can relate. My husband works an hour away and is a shiftworker. I'm a SAHM of a funny five year old. We also have 3 other children ages 15, 12 and 9. I get very lonely after moving away from my home state five years ago. My son was 2 wks when we moved. It is hard and I agree with the other ladies. I have found my enjoyment and connections here on Facebook. Which I have found to be very addicting. Keep trying and MOPS is another place to check out (Mothers of Preschoolers) usually at a local church. You don't have to attend church to go adn they usually offer babysitting. You can get a little mommy time and meet other moms in the same boat as you. Best of luck.

Shannon - posted on 12/10/2008

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what a wonderful site, it is so nice to have support! thank you all you have great advice!

User - posted on 12/09/2008

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Hi All,

I am pretty much in the same boat, although I have a lot of friends that are close and have kids it still gets lonely sometimes. I have been wanting to do some volunteer work and found a group called Home Start through the Boys and Girls Club. I'm actually the one doing the volunteering since the only prerequisit was to be a Mom or Grandma and I get to take my 5 month old along with me. What we do is visit with Mom's who need someone to talk to (just like a friend). It's a year long commitment (and sometimes lasts longer) so pretty much you'd get another Mom to talk to in person once a week for a year. Maybe check out your local Boys and Girls club to see if they have this program available or some other volunteer opportunities may be available. Good luck.

Natalie - posted on 12/09/2008

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There are other moms out there just like you but as with friends they are often hard to locate. You have to be willing to weed through tons of likely canidates to get to the ones that are your kind of people. I am a SAHM and went through 3 baby/kid groups before I found a network of gals I like and who are like minded. It is hard to find a good friend but harder to find one for you, your spouse and your kid. They do exisit... my daughter is 9 and we have about 7 families we love in our lives. It took time to find them and it has taken years to grow our friendship but we are willing to work on it because the results are lifelong.

Best to you and your new and improved family and network of friends.

Lisa - posted on 12/09/2008

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ECFE Classes are great! Contact your local school for more information. The separation time is a great way to meet other local moms, then you can invite them to go to the park or over for lunch, etc. I completely understand and by reading the other posts, it seems to be a "normal" thing for SAHM's! We moved to a rural part of MN about 5 years ago. We didn't know anyone for the first 2 years (except our neighbors). Then we started going to church again and found one with a growing young adults group. All the other couples were in the same "stage" as us, newlyweds starting families. Now we all have kids the same ages and are great friends. I go to a weekly prayer group with all the other moms from church and it seems like other un-churched moms in our town are coming out of the woodwork looking for somewhere to connect! Very awesome! Just don't be afraid to put yourself out there and be yourself. I've also heard MOPS is a great group.

Keri - posted on 12/09/2008

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Have you tried a meetup? Check it out- www.meetup.com type in your area and I bet there is a group. That's what I did when I first moved here 4 months ago and while I don't have any best friends I still try to go to playdates and things like that-even if I don't come away with a friend per say it gets me out of the house and it also keeps me sane. Also our YMCA has a Ymom's group which is huge but only about 12 or so really do things and I've done a lot with them including mom's night out. Another thing is church-if you're involved or what not-I joined a mom's Friday Morning group and met some ladies that way. Now I don't hang out with these ladies much any of them other then play dates but its hard for everyone having kids to really get to have any time to themselves like in the good ol days. Anyhow those are my suggestions-I too feel lonely and overwhelmed and well-its not a bad idea to talk to your Dr. too.
maybe this'll help

Kelly - posted on 12/09/2008

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It's definitely hard to make connections and form relationships as moms. We're so distracted it's hard to have a conversation, and something keeps (some) us from opening up. Maybe it's that we don't want others to know we're not perfect. ECFE has been good for me, MOPS is another good one, my community has something called Moms Club, but I know that is a network so not limited to just my community. As one mom suggested, invite someone else - but maybe to a neutral place like the park or out for pizza lunch or something. Don't give up! Keep trying. We're in this struggle with ya!

[deleted account]

Megan,

Try ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education) Classes for your daughter. I loved the "separation" classes where we broke off with the other parents and all talked about our kids and any concerns we had. It was great to interact with adults and I didn't have to clean my house before inviting someone over. :) I miss them since my daughter is now in preschool, but plan to start again with my infant daughter when I can fit them into my schedule. Good luck!

Chrissy

Laura - posted on 12/09/2008

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It is not easy, and I also totally relate. With my husband as a full time student and working full time, he is not home often, and when he is, it is usually time for him to sleep or do homework. I have so many days when I just crave an adult conversation over trying to communicate w/ my 2 1/2 and 15 month old girls. Yet, I am so blessed to be home with them. It has been easier w/ family in town, but it still is nice to have that "friend" or group of friends outside of family, which I don't exactly have, either. I would say to take all of the other women's advice on looking into groups to join w/ the hopes you will click w/ another mom or group of moms. It has not completely happened for me, but I look at it in a day to day process, and know that it will not always be this way... one sort of "out of my norm" thing I did was post on craigslist in the community activities place asking for another mom in my area to go on walks w/, and crazy enough, though I was cautious about it, I had a response, and am now friends w/ this mom I met. We don't even get out as often anymore for walks, (w/ the bad weather and all), but the times we do are very relaxing, (even w/ the exercise).

I know this is getting long, but I also wanted to say congrats on your expected new one. I am also expecting. With it being your 2nd, I will say, especially since you are already worrying, watch out for signs of Post Partum Depression after your baby. It is not something that happens all of the time, but it happened for me after my 2nd, and I was feeling the same as you at the time... then w/ the inbalances of things after the pregnancy it just went downhill. So, keep communication VERY open w/ your husband, friends and family (even if not around), your doctor, and any new moms you meet, as people who are close will be able to tell that things are different possibly before you, if you have to go through it. And, not wanting this to sound like I am predicting bad things for you, I will say I pray that you do not have to go through anything more, and your situation as it is improves!! You can message me if you want/need to talk more about anything.

Jennifer - posted on 12/08/2008

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Meg, I know how you feel, my hubby works out of town, somtimes for aweek or 2 at a time. have a2 yr old son, ;and twin girls 10 mos old (on the 15) I cant work (childcare alone would not b worth it) so, I have absolutly noone but my people on facebook to connect with. Its too hard for me to pack up thekids and go anywhere, so I have to wait for hubby to come home, and then, I am taking care of him also (I might get an hour or 2 to myself, to do the grocery shopping,but usually take 1 of thekids with me if I leave thehouse) Where are you from...Im in Pgh.

Julie - posted on 12/08/2008

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you are not alone but I know we've all been there. I did a gymboree class and did not fit in at all and I even asked one gal to lunch and she had plans so it was no. but i didnt give up there is always someone for you and I hope you find someone. Just like a mate you will find a friend when you are not looking, I mean like the bank or store. I am a sahm of three and go nuts...that is why I am on the computer writing to you!! he-he some days are tough that is for sure but you reached out to us so hopefully you will find some gal pals locally.

Amanda - posted on 12/08/2008

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For me, it's shopping, and talking with family on the phone. We moved to where we live now about 2 years ago. I'm also a SAHM so it hasn't been easy to meet anybody, so I don't really have any friends. My family is about 5 hours away. My husband is a powerlineman and is often gone for weeks at a time. We have a 2 year old, 1 year old and another on the way, so I completely know how you feel. I often feel like I'm going crazy. I know I probably didn't give you the best advice but there really isn't an easy way of dealing with it. I started a group on FB for the wives of lineman and met another lady that is a lot like me and we've become GREAT friends. That has really helped me, bc she understands.

Shannon - posted on 12/08/2008

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I totally know how you feel, I live in Canada but it is all the same here as well, woman seem to be very clicky, which makes it hard and frustrating, are all woman like this? are we suppose to be gossipers? I am not I like to talk to the person I may have issues with but now days it seems so hard to find that honest person. I never knew when you get older it gets harder to make friends, when I was young I had lots, what happened? I am very lonley sometimes I cry even, it is very hard to do expecially if you don't have anyone to talk to. I hope we all keep talking like this, I thought I was the only one that felt this way! thanks everyone for letting me know you are out there!

Lorilynne - posted on 12/08/2008

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I'm in the same boat. I moved to Florida almost three years ago and I still don't have any friends here. Well I have one but she lives over an hour away so I don't get to see her very often. It was really tough for me when I had my daughter but things have gotten a little easier since I had my son. The extra chaos keeps me busy enough that I don't have time to be lonely. I would like friends though, it would be nice to have other adults to talk to. You can try your local library to see if they have classes for the kids. I know you've tried that already but it can't hurt to try again and at least with the library its free, right? Good luck and hang in there :)

Megan - posted on 12/08/2008

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I live in a suburb outside of Chicago, about 60 miles, southwest. It's an old farm town, Yorkville, but it's growing by leaps and bounds. It's funny, my parents grew up in the city, they moved a bit west to Wheaton, I grew up there, can't afford to live there and moved a bit more west. Seems like we are just moving westward. I did a bunch of mommy classes and such, just never connected with anyone. I agree on the clickiness of women though, seems like if you aren't part of their group already, there isn't room to join. It's annoying and one reason why I am not a super huge fan of women, so exclusionary.

Jenny - posted on 12/08/2008

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Hey Meg! turn that frown upside down!! Seriously, I know how you feel. I have six children, my husband works full time, and he is also big into sports. I really feel like the people who live around me are all still living in high school. They are very clicky and don't really like to invite new people to their doings. I have met some nice moms in my older sons class( he's in 4th grade), but other than the kids I don't have a lot in common because of age. I think you should keep trying what your doing, if you don't mind me asking where do you live?

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