weaning my 23 month old and sleeping the whole night in his crib

Rachel - posted on 11/07/2008 ( 8 moms have responded )




I'm not sure how to go about weaning my 23 month old son who still wants to nurse all night. He really only nurses at nap time and bed time, but when I get him to sleep and put him in his crib, he won't sleep more than 3 hours before waking up. And then he wants to nurse all night in my bed. He sleeps much better in his crib than in bed with me, but I can't seem to break him of the co-sleeping and the "all night buffet". I fear I've created a monster! My poor husband sleeps on the couch most nights. I've tried to let him cry and self-soothe, but it doesn't work. Any ideas?


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User - posted on 11/08/2008




we had the same thing not good, try wen ever he gets up or crys just nurse him were he feels content then wen his asleep put him back 2 bed try a bed not a crib we did its easier then getting up they soon learn u cant give in there know the way we work it will prob take 1 week not long just hang in there Dont give in to them

[deleted account]

If cold-turkey doesn't work for you try weaning like this: When my daughter was around 15 months we started weaning at naptime. I would lay down with her and snuggle but didn't nurse. She would fuss, but not all out cry since I was laying with her and snuggling. Then when she was asleep, I started getting up so she could get used to sleeping alone. Once she was doing naps successfully, we moved on to bedtime with no nursing but still co-sleeping at first. Once accomplished we got her a tv with dvd for her room so she could have something positive about bedtime alone--watch a movie. She would always fall asleep watching. For a while she would wake up and come back in with us, ok for a while and then eventually we let her know she had to stay in her bed until morning. It was a longer road than some have taken, but I didn't want to undo all the attachment parenting I had done for a year and a half. I don't knock what works for others, this was just my way :) Hope it helps

Rachel - posted on 11/08/2008




Thank you all so much! It's comforting knowing I'm not the only one has to deal with this. It's going to be hard, but I need to do it. I miss my husband! Thanks again Loni for the great advice.

Tara - posted on 11/08/2008




I totally agree with Loni. At 13 1/2 months I finally had to cut my son off. He had been sleeping with me on the pull out couch. I didn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time for that entire time. He loved to drink. It got to the point where he would just pull up my shirt and yank down my bra! I had to cut him off completely..just as painful for me as I sure it was mentally for him! After the first couple of nights the crying got better..I new he wasn't really hungry he just loved being with me. I cried so hard but after about a week he slept...he now says ewww whenever anyone says that he was breastfed.

Loni - posted on 11/08/2008




Hi Rachel,

I was completely there myself in EVERY way you're describing in January of this year. I was still nursing long past the point I had planned, and I was completely doing the "family bed" thing. As much as it killed me to do it, I literally just cut all ties to what I was doing (nursing and co-sleeping) on a Monday night, and all hell did break loose!! The first night, my daughter screamed for almost 45 minutes before falling asleep. It broke my heart, and I did actually cry myself for most of the time that she was crying. I just made sure she had a little drink from her cup before bed and then just kissed and hugged and tucked her in. This is the way it was for the first week. Each night she cried herself to sleep, but each night the crying got quickly shorter (1st night 45 minutes, 2nd- 20 minues, 3rd 10-15 minutes, etc), and within 5-6 nights she was going to bed and that was that. First nights are brutal, but you really do have to stick with it and hopefully thing will work out soon. I fought wi myself NOT to go to her. If she did wake up later on, I just waited to see if she was stirring (cry for a minute or so), or if she was going into "middle of the night melt down". If that happened, I'd just go give her a hug and kiss, let her know I'm still around and put her back to bed.

Sounds cruel, but that's what worked for me. Good luck, and I hope some of this helps you too. :)

Jeanne - posted on 11/08/2008




When he wakes up during the night I would try giving him a small drink from a cup and then cuddle him close to your body and just let him know that you love him but are not going to nurse him. The first couple times might be rought but he should go back to sleep. Most of the time it is the cuddleing that they want and not the milk. This worked with mine, although I did stop nursing through the night at around 10 months, but they still wanted to cuddle. Good luck.

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