wedding plans

Mandy - posted on 03/19/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

574

18

105

any ideas what to do with a bridesmaid who doesnt like her dress and is making life difficult because of it? it is my fiance's sister and the wedding is in 6 weeks, dont have time to be stuffing around. i dont want to put her off side, but it is my wedding. any ideas?

5 Comments

View replies by

Jennifer - posted on 03/22/2009

103

10

7

My ex best fiend was not only a bridesmaid but she was my Maid of Honor and she made a stink about almost everything about my wedding. She was so focused on herself and how she was going to make herself the center of attention on my special day, that she forgot about her job as Maid of honor. She would answer my calls when I needed help with something infact she didn't help me with anything, she was just awful. She actually had the nerve to say infront of everyone at my shower/staggette that I was stubourn and didn't let her help with anyting. Arrrggghhh!!!! I should have told her right there and then that I no longer wanted her in the wedding. When it came to the dress I was pretty flexable. I let her pick the style but I insited on the color and of course she didn't like it (or so she said). I found out that she was a bridesmaid in another friends wedding in the fall and she wore the dress that she wore to my wedding, the other bridesmaid had a different one, so apparently she had a fit for nothing and she actually liked the dress.



Seeing as how it is your soon to be sister-in-law, I would suggest talking to your fiance and see if he can suggest anything. If not bring it up to her in a polite manner and just expain that you really like the dresses and it was all part of your vision for your special day. Tell her that it's your day and not hers and part of a bridesmaid's responsibility is to help you iron out any problems and not to create any. I hope everything goes well for you and a early Congratulations. One piece of addvice, don't sweat the small stuff and try to enjoy and take in everthing because before you know it, it will be all over.

Krystal - posted on 03/21/2009

54

8

5

Congrats. I had a similar issue one of my bridesmaids didnt like the dress and she complained about it. I told her that it was my special day and that I really would apprieciate it if she would just stop with the complaints and wear the dress, and I said if she wasnt gonna stop then she didnt need to be in the wedding. then I told her when she got married she could chose her dresses and see how it feels to have a bridesmaid as difficult as her. well she ended up wearing the dress but needless to say we arent friends anymore this bridesmaid had the nerve to hit on my hubby as the reception. So just be thankful that you have found the man your gonna marry and focus on you and your day. Dont let someone else ruin it for you. CONGRATS again.

[deleted account]

First of all, congrats on your upcoming wedding!  My wedding is in 2 weeks....getting a little nervous...you?  LOL



About the bridesmaid, I've been lucky so far in that my girlfriends would bend over backwards to make my wedding day perfect (as I would for them).  So I haven't had to deal with petty stuff like "I don't like the dress".  I would say try being diplomatic about it like Rebecca Malcolm said and then if that doesn't work remember what Dawn Fritz posted...it's YOURS AND YOUR HUBBY TO BE'S DAY...NOT HERS.  If she wants to be in the wedding, she will comply with your wishes.  And if she wants to be a good sister in law, she will comply GLADLY AND WILLINGLY with your wishes.   I'm sure the dress you picked for her is gorgeous and she is just being picky.  Is she really young?  Sounds like it.  Good luck with the picky bridesmaid and best of luck to you and your fiance  :)  And remember...just BREATHE....



 



P.S.  Out of curiosity, do you find that your "to do" list is getting longer instead of shorter?  LOL That's how it's been for me the past few weeks.  It seems like every time I check something off my list, I remember to add 2 more things.....

Dawn - posted on 03/21/2009

604

16

85

i kinda had that same issue with my new sister in law...only it was with the hair style. i had all the bridesmaids come to my mom's house and my aunt had hired a stylist to come and do everyone's hair. well my MIL and SIL won't go to anyone but the one they use...my MIL made the excuse that the one i hired wouldn't do my SIL's hair the right way and then she'd be mad, i guess i should clear up here that my SIL has a lot of emotional issues and is border line bi-polar etc. so we have to tiptoe around her all the time! anyway so i said that it was fine if she wanted to go to her stylist but everyones hair needed to be up somehow. well just to spite me my MIL told the stylist to leave her hair down and put all these stupid beads in it. she looked ridiculous!! and she didn't match the rest of us in the pics. i was fuming but it was too late to change it cause they met us at the church minutes before the wedding.



my MIL pretty much took over the wedding and my hubby and i didn't get much to say about it. we did put our foot down on a few things but no one wants to upset the queen bee!!! so take the advice that i didn't and just tell her she either does it your way or she can't be in it. as hard as that is you want your day to be perfect. i wish i would have done it.

Rebecca - posted on 03/19/2009

282

38

8

I had a bridesmaid who was, not any more, a very good friend.  She made my wedding all about her and it ended our friendship.  Looking back I should have told her to shove it. 



this is your wedding and it's all about you and your man.  My suggestion is that because it is your fiance's sister to talk to him about how you are feeling and maybe have him talk to her about it if you don't want to rock the boat too much.  You may also consider talking with her on your own and tell her that you are sorry that she is not thrilled with the bridemaids dresses you pick but you really want her to be a part of the wedding but if she feels that uncomfortable about the dress than she doesn't have to be a part of the actual wedding party and she can just watch with the rest of the family.  Hopefully, put like that she will stop her self centeredness and be more positive.



Unfortunately some people can't put their own wants aside for someone elses happiness.  I wish you the best on your wedding day!  Remember that it is your day and you should be happy but at the end of it all the only thing that really truly matters is that you and your man are married and can begin the rest of your lives together.



all my best,



Rebecca

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms