What about a dad who has court ordered visits and pays child support

JUNE - posted on 03/17/2010 ( 24 moms have responded )

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what about a father who wants to be a part of his daughters life and has paid child support and has court orderd visits and mom still wont let him see her.

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JUNE - posted on 03/21/2010

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YOUR RIGHT ABOUT THAT,HES NOT PERFECT AND NEITHER IS SHE,WHAT HURTS MY SON MOST IS HOW MANY GUYS SHE HAS HAD LIVE WITH HER SINCE SHE LEFT.BUT HE LOVES HER AND WNATS TO BE A PART OF HER LIFE AND WOULD "NEVER" HURT HIS DAUGHTER.ALL WE CAN DO IS PRAY AS A FAMILY.

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Amanda - posted on 07/17/2011

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My husband was in a similar situation. He had twin boys with his ex-wife and for two years she denied him anything to do with them. She wouldn't let him see pictures or anything. Unfortunately, the system failed us. Our attorney didn't file the paperwork, DFPS didn't investigate as they should have when people did call them about his ex-wife, and now the twins are gone. They weren't quite 3. And all because she couldn't provide for them and hated us so much she didn't want us to see or have them.



Someone created a facebook page for them. Please encourage your son to move as quickly as possible and stay on his attorney's butt about this so his story doesn't turn into a similar one to ours.
http://www.facebook.com/Waiting.On.Justi...

Shannon - posted on 03/22/2010

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I hate women like that. My husband has been going through the same thing with his ex. His daughter is going to be 13 this year and he has not seen her since she was 5. Since then she has told him that he is not the father, wanted him to sign away his parental rights so her husband could adopt her and has not let any of the family see her, except for his father because he gives her money. Now my husband pays $500 a month for this one child that he doen't even know.

I have told him we need to go to court and figure out if this girl is his and if not we need to stop paying for her, and if she is then we need to be a part of her life. She is in a horrible situation right now, living in a shelter with her mom and siblings because her step father tried to kill himself.

I say go back to court and make the chick let him see his kids. I have been on both sides of the child support/visitation thing and it is not right for these women to continue to ruin these mens lives.

Carolee - posted on 03/20/2010

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Not every relationship can work out well, but at least he's a MAN and steps up to his responsibilities and loves his child! I hope he gets visitations soon. Keep fighting.

JUNE - posted on 03/20/2010

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THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR POSTS,MY SON FROM THE TIME HIS BABY GIRL WAS BORN WAS AT HIS HAPPIEST,AMD EVERY TIME SHE DOES SEE HIM SHE KNOWS HE IS HER DADDY AND HE HE OVER JOYED.

Kim - posted on 03/20/2010

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I know dead beat Dads that don't pay child support yet the court orders visitation and even a 2 wk stay!! Its not right. He should threaten to show up with the police for the visitation.

Mary - posted on 03/20/2010

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Unless there is a strong reason for her not to want you too, which I'm doubting, or you wouldn't have gotten court ordered visitation.............then you need to call your lawyer, or if you live in a state that you can do it yourself, you should take her back to court and get your rights to your child. There are way too many "fathers" out there that do not want anything to do with their children, only pay child support because it's taken from their check.....and other than that don't want to step up to the plate....I wish you well and hope that you soon are spending time with your daughter, a very precious gift from GOD!

Marie - posted on 03/19/2010

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I did give mine the time he was ordered to have but he was the 1 who decised not to stick with it ... and I have been after him for 10 years to turn over his rights and at 13 when he could have destroyed him but I have a wonderful new family and thry have taken him in as one of thier own , as far as parents being adults rhey should and keep kids out of the fuss and dont make promises they cant keep , I never told my son about visits because 9 out 10 times so I never told.him about his dads plans because they rarly if ever happened. JUST BUT ADULTS !!!and leave the kids out of the fussing

Jaclyn - posted on 03/19/2010

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I come from divorced parents and it is very hard on the child(ren). Visitation should be decided by the parents before going to court the judge and lawyers should be in agreement with what is working. If the other is not standing by the choices made by both parents; and they are stated in the paperwork then take their butt back to court and make sure everything is documented. Date, time and call the police or go before going to pick up the child(ren) and ask if they could help get the kids for vistation. Also make sure that the parent that is being denied vistation is calling their lawyer and letting them know that this isn't just a one time thing. Also depens on the age of the child(ren) involed they can stated you they want to be with and if they do want to visit the other parent or not. If he/she are not letting the other parent pick the child(ren) up at their home see if they would agree to do it at a public place or at a mutual friend's house. Divorced parents shouldn't be trying to tell the kids what they think of the other parent. Parents need to forget about themselves and think of what is best for the children) instead.

Nikki - posted on 03/19/2010

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with the ocurt order the police can have a recovery order put into place but it can take them 3 months to get one sorted depending on the circumstances. the police can always assist in the removal of the child in these instances for visitation. and her frequent breaches of the order will go against her in court. also a 12month prison sentence can be issued depending on how long she's been breaching the order. if she continues to breach the order with the court knowing they can even request the care of the child to increase in the fathers favour.

if you need to chat let me know. ive been going through a custody battle for 2.5 years now and keep getting taken to court by my ex mother in law and the father.

Shannon - posted on 03/18/2010

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It so upsetting to see two grown people fight and disagree over seeing their child...My husband and I Separated over 10 months ago and we have amicably worked out a regular visitation schedule he was comfortable and we both agreed upon,our children meant more to us than allowing our emotions and anguish get the better of us...we wanted our children to be happy and not be effected by adult situations.... you need to think of your daughter at this point and how it is going to effect her, short term or long term...Don't let the court(strangers dictate who is going to see you child next)! if your ex is not complying with her end of the deal, have a frank and open discussion with her to work things out....unless their is more to the story here than what has been said..only the two of you know the whole truth.
Bottom line here is the two of you need to get along for your child sake...if your ex is being that selfish and is not considering what this is going to do to your daughter in the long run, get a court(family) mediator involved to find out what is really going on here to resolve this issue....best of luck to you!

Marie - posted on 03/18/2010

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I he is willing she needs to let him be apart of her life ... if he is a once in awhile dad then he needs to have his suport raised then like my sons dad ... ask early to have him relinquinsh his rights . My sons dad finally at the age of 13 decided he didnt want anything to do with him and he only lived 85 miles away , never called or visited , and if he did I always had to put him back together from the verbal abuse him and his grandpa put him thru .
We got the last laugh tho he changed his name after his dad relinguished his rights took his Grandpas firts name and changed that and changed his last name to my new husbands name .
I still hurts the kids when the parents cant be adults , remember 2 made the baby and 2 should be there even if you dont like each other.

Felicia - posted on 03/18/2010

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He needs to take her back to court. She is violating a court order. She can get in trouble for that....it's against the law.

Maria - posted on 03/18/2010

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In NY state if you call the police and you have your court papers they will go into the house and get the child and give them to the parent who has visitation. This can actually get her into alot of trouble. even if she thinks its not safe , until she proves it and cps is in agreement she can not withhold visitation. I have a friend who has gone to the ER with her step daughter 20 times after vistation from the mother (mother and father have shared with no residential set) for burns to her stomach, hand print on her back that was raised for 3 days, 2 black eyes, various rashes. the hosiptal calls cps over and over and the mom says oh it was an accident, one of her other kids did it, or I don't know. every time they come back unfounded and the child has to go. And she has to go during the investigation. So never denie vistation without the backing of cps, judge or the police. The best part the mom of this girl now says she feel the other household is a danger so they are doing a full blown investagation, but its all good because they have nothing to hide !!

JUNE - posted on 03/18/2010

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YES,WE ARE WORKING ON AN ATTORNEY.SHE ISNT GONNA GIVE IN,I WOTTY ABOUT ALL THE BOY FRIENDS SHE HAS HAD SINCE LEAVEING MY SON.

Katie - posted on 03/17/2010

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Well I'd say it's time for an attorney unless he's done something to give her reason to believe he shouldn't be around her? If not then he has his rights and the mother would only be hurting the little girl.

Carolee - posted on 03/17/2010

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If there is a good reason for her to not allow her children to be around him, she needs to get it approved through the courts. Otherwise, he should be able to see his kids.

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The mom is at fault here and dad needs to contact his lawyer since she is not honoring the court ordered visits. According to the judge, he has a right to see his daughter. (Unless there is a legitimate reason why he should not have visitation at all - in which case they would still need to go back to court to settle things.)

Myra - posted on 03/17/2010

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He has the right to be around his child. If she won't allow him to see his child, he needs to go through and try to get more rights. The parents may have their own differences, but the child does not need to suffer because of them any more than she already has. Unless he's hurt the child, the mom needs to respect both him and the law. If he has hurt the child, she needs to go and have the father's rights taken away.

Medic - posted on 03/17/2010

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Take her stingy ass back to court!!!! haha sorry but thats what he should do and just like everyone tells moms make sure he documents everything from phone conversations to voicemails to everything time and date it just keep a journal.

Ashley - posted on 03/17/2010

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I agree with the girls.. If he has a copy of the court papers and really does want to be a part of her life then take her back to court and take it the police and see what they can do. Its not everyday that happens where the dad wants to be so involved.

Brittany - posted on 03/17/2010

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i am not sure of the situation but if there is a court order and he has a copy of it...i know he can take it to the police station and the police will escort him to pick up his daughter for his scheduled visits (although that cannot be a long term solution). he really needs to take his ex back to court and let the courts know what she is doing as she is in contempt of court and can get in serious trouble. good luck!

Danielle - posted on 03/17/2010

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Well then he needs to take her back to court and let me know shes not following the order. She could get in a lot of trouble for not following a court order. But however, is there a reason why shes keeping the child from him?? Because if he has done something that could put the child in any harms way the mother does have a right to keep the child from the father and she needs to go back to court telling them why shes keeping the child away from him and prove her case. But I would say for him to get to the court house asap. The only one that gets hurt in this is the child.

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