What actions should be taken if my son is being bullied at school by his teachers

Tara - posted on 05/06/2013 ( 20 moms have responded )

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My son attends a Charter school in Chiefland, Florida and every day he is picked at by his teachers. He was given 1 day suspension for helping of his fellow students. The teachers sent him to the office saying that he was horseplaying. I have had students tell me that the teachers are picking on him for no reason. They make smart comments to make him feel low and he does not even want to go to school. I have talk to the principle and to the teachers and nothing have been done. This is a very stressful situation and I would like to know what can be done.

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[deleted account]

Wow! This is even worse than you first explained. If your son is a special needs student and you are being targeted as well. This is a human rights violation. You definitly need to go directly to the media. Media attention will likely find you recieving support from many families including legal council eager to assist you. I would have legal documentation drawn up explaining the temporary withdrawl of your child from the school and have it sent to everyone affiliated with the school. I would suggest homeschooling him until this entire situation is dealt with; I worry that the situation may become more elevated if he and you continue to be in the " line of fire". Don't let these people intimidate you. That is what they are relying on to happen, so that they do not have to have any accountablity. Be strong you are not alone!

Jillian - posted on 05/10/2013

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You can go on LegalMatch.com to find one, but I believe you would want an Administrative Lawyer. They are the Education/School Lawyers who know how to help you through the State and Fed Board of Education. They are betting that you won't go that route, but I bet, if you find one that you like, willing to represent you, they'll help you get the word out via the media. Then, you may have a outpouring of public support, past parents who also dealt with this from the same school, maybe even financial help to pay for attorney fees.

[deleted account]

To the media! You might also want to go online and see if you can find a child/ parent group that will be an advocate for you in your area, you need as much support as you can get, as well as get in touch with legal aid. This is such shameful behaviour. The administration stands up for those teachers, not only to save the personal reptuation, but because the more students and teachers they have, that are presumed to be doing their jobs well, results in kudos for those pricipals and increases their pay! I think the media attention will likely bring out the staff that are hiding or ashamed of those who are being negligent. Don't give up.There are likely many more families that you are unaware of that are lost and don't know what to do, you may be the catalyst that will save other students that are already, or will be the next targets. Wishing you courage and strength. ~ Make sure you let your son know how proud you are for standing up for himself. His voice needs to be heard for any other kids who are going through this.

Jillian - posted on 05/10/2013

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I completely agree, although I wonder if she should seek out legal help prior to going to the media. They would have the correct contacts at the news channels, plus assist in writing up the documentation to the school and it's affiliates that you mentioned. Doing it all legally correct would help her in the outcome. I for one, wouldn't know where to start without the legal council to guide me :) Tara, you have a lot of support! You're sure to gain more!

Jillian - posted on 05/10/2013

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Tracey brought up a great point in finding an advocacy group in your area to help you. Maybe even just searching through FB or Meetup.com, you may be able to find a group of parents who are going through the same thing, just for moral support.

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Today God Is First - posted on 11/28/2014

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Reading some of these comments and one thing I do with my 12 year old boy is talk to him about life. I have been doing this with him since he was in the 3rd grade. First I always remind him that I love him and because I love him I have tell him the things I tell him. I tell him that we live in a world of expectations, society wants us to behave certain ways and we must comply for the sake of just getting along. I tell him that when we are at home you can let loose, you can act however you want to act, but just keep in mind that in school or outside you keep it to a minimal and also maybe if you have a partner later in life. He gets it, I make it seem to him that we all are quirky in our own way at home, but outside we all have to maintain a certain appearance. Booooring! He just laughs and says "I know right"

One other thing you never do is reprimand your child for the things he does at school and you never take the teachers side. It is bad enough that they get picked on by those who dont care to understand. In order to keep your child happy and not let the schools break him you have to be on his side no matter how bad teachers make it seem. Later you can talk to them about whatever incident may have occurred. Sometimes those teachers are not nice and are bothered by the extra work, Advocate, advocate till the end and if things ever get that bad at school where the teacher is constantly complaining about the child. It's time to get the child out. It happened to my son, he was in school with just a bunch of dumb policies, punishing children for being children. Its so messed up that children cannot be children anymore and get punished for making mistakes. These schools act as if we as adults do not make mistakes, nobody punishes us? Right? Find a school where they do not believe in punishment, but in positive reinforcement.

I know how hard it is to transfer a child to a different zone school, but if you harass them long enough and you will get him to the school of your choice. Like I did. I told them you want to me to keep complaining about your school, you want me to continue posting negative things about your school on the internet. Lets go I can do this for another year and I will be up in this school every day yelling at you if I need to, just like you do to my son" After reaching out to teachers, principal and superintendent, nobody listened and last thing I did was get a hold of the school chancellors emails and I started sending all my complaints to her. That got me the attention and got me what I wanted. Of course the old school retaliating and picked on my son because of what I was doing, but I told my son "Hang on tight, we are going to win" The school wrote all sorts of bad things about my son on his IEP and when I brought him to the new school they all fell in love with him and said he was the sweetest guy and that the other school described a monster. They told me "We do not beleive in punishment in this school and your son is safe with us we are going to work with him on what is important, academically" If you fight expect retaliation, expect them to do all crazy things to get you to shut up and remain in their school. I figure if you want to mess with my child, believe me I am not here to form a loving relationship with anyone that has the balls to pick on a child. He will get the education he needs,

A child first needs to feel good about himself in order for him to learn, if you have someone constantly telling him what is wrong with him he will fail academically, that is not what school should be focusing on. Dont let that happen to your child. Peace, love and happiness to all and know that all his possible if you have God in your life. I didn't need a lawyer, after I discovered how unwilling they were to help, so i turned to God and he gave me the strength to keep fighting. Oh and FYI my son never changed he was still as happy as a bee, if anything he felt proud that I was always protecting him and putting these unfair assholes to shame.

Mary - posted on 05/13/2013

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I'm a mother of five kids. Two of them are adults now, my third oldest is experiencing bullying by people she believed were friends. She's in 8 Th. grade in a school in North Port FL. I have created a anti bullying group inspired by my daughter plus I have looked into Kirk and Laura Smalley's groups and other information on line and through face book also. They know exactly the harm bullying creates as they lost their son Ty Smalley in 2010 to suicide b/c the bullying he faced. I'd make a contact with them. They may be able to help locate other places to go to for needed help. Definitely document everything. I just read an article about a Judge in Jacksonville FL. who kicked a bully out of some school district b/c lack of help from the school and school district plus the proof was a video of beating up the victim. Every one who's in such circumstances are stuck and its people like us who reach out and try to help in every way we can. Someone has to stick together. Venice FL. Sky Academy principal is also in trouble for bullying his own staff. Made news today, May 13, 2013 suncoast lunchtime.

Tara - posted on 05/10/2013

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It is a good oh boy system and they each have a best friend or someone in their family on the school board. My nephew is handicapped and fell on the bus after having a seizure and hit his head on the bus and the tape from the bus disappeared.

Tara - posted on 05/10/2013

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One of the mothers backed out because she said her son was not going to school next year so she was not going to worry about it. Me and the mother is going to stick togeather and get something done. I had my niece tell me that attend the school said, that one of the teachers told her that yes they are after Malcolm who is my son and said the teachers are after you also. My son does have a 504 and he have told me many times that he was not accommodated like he should have been. Now my son is discouraged about going to that school. Even the President over that school took up for the staff.

Jillian - posted on 05/10/2013

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Local news it is then! WOW, I can't believe the teachers are doing this to the kids. And the school board is backing them to boot. My dad was on a school board in the Bay Area (CA) and he helped clean house of teachers all over the district who abused their authority. It seems this charter needs to be monitored much closer by the district office and maybe even by the state of FL. Please let us know how it goes!

Tara - posted on 05/10/2013

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I have already took those actions. They are taking the sides of their teachers. I am going to get the local news involved. I have another mother that is expressing the same thing and she so stressed to the point that she is having to see a heart doctor.

Autumn - posted on 05/10/2013

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Your charter school also has it's own board of directors. It would be good to contact each of them detailing the issue and informing them id the actions you want taken and the actions you will take if something is not done.

Tara - posted on 05/08/2013

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I did not realize I would have this much support. I have been so stressed out with dealing with all of this. One other mother is experiencing the same thing called me yesterday and told me that she have to go and see a heart doctor because of all of this. I do not wish this on no parent or child.

Jillian - posted on 05/07/2013

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I completely agree with Tracey Demers. If going to the teachers, then the principal did not cure or even ease the issue, go directly to the District Office and/or school board. You may even want to contact a lawyer to discuss legal options and have said lawyers name and info handy when discussing the problem with the Superintendent or School Board member(s). You have rights, your son has rights and Charter Schools must follow the same rules as traditional schools. Good Luck to you!

[deleted account]

Hello! First and foremost absolutley something can be done. Those teachers should all be fired.You are employing them with your tax dollars to do a job of teaching. It is against the law to abuse, that includes bullying a child. ~ in loco parentis~ Make a formal complaint to your school board, division, superintendent, principal & teachers in writing. CC them all! The mention of legal action always gets attention. If they do not make any changes, perhaps a call to the local paper. How many children have we heard of in the news who are being or became victims of tragedy due to being bullied , this is a serious situation!. ~ If all else fails, contact your local media. Perhaps you may want to consider homeschooling. We are a homeschool family and anyone can do it! Everything any child k-12 needs is available and free on the internet. This is a huge deal and you are your childs best advocate. Make a big loud stink! Good luck, will be thinking good thoughts for you!

[deleted account]

If that doesn't work. Contact your local news providers. Someone will want to pick up the story because bullying is a hot issue right now.

[deleted account]

Definitely speak with the superintendent. If you can get the other mom who witnessed the bullying to write a statement you can take with you, that would be very helpful.

When you speak to the superintendent, be VERY specific. Lay out each incident independently and in chronological order. Write everything down before you go in and give him/her a copy.

For each incident provide the following:
Date and an unbiased description. Then one section providing the teacher's account of what happened and a separate section detailing your son's account of what happened. At the bottom, state what actions were taken to remedy the situation.

On the cover page, very briefly describe your concerns in general and provide a list of possible solutions that you would be happy with (like placing your child in a different classroom, or even a different school if the bullying is extreme, additional training for the offending teacher, or suspension if you think that is necessary (just be warned if you ask for too much disciplinary action against the teacher that does not affect the children, you may not be taken seriously.))

At your meeting, have enough copies for everyone present. Use the layout to verbalize your arguments.

Tara - posted on 05/07/2013

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It was from the classroom and from another parent that was volunteering at the school and she gave me a call because she was concerned. Thank you some for the advice.

[deleted account]

If you have spoken to the principal, and nothing was done, you should speak to the superintendent of your district. Demand that your child be moved to another teacher's classroom, and a full investigation.

It seems odd they would accuse him of "horseplay" when he was trying to help a student. Have you observed the bully behavior yourself, or do you have only the words of your son and his friends? If you have only their version of the story, you cannot expect much to be done. Try to be in the classroom as much as possible--go to lunch with him and volunteer at every opportunity. This will not only give you an opportunity to observe the teachers with them (they will likely not bully him in front of you but you will be able to tell if they are holding back), but it will put you in a position to back him up.

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