What do SAHMs wear all day?

Bobbie - posted on 03/12/2013 ( 22 moms have responded )

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On days when you stay home all day (which is most days for me), what clothes do you wear?

My dress style has declined over the years. When I first started staying home, I tried to dress up nice. But as time went on I couldn't see the point of looking good when I was in the house almost all the time. I became increasingly lazy about what I wore. It began with me wearing sweat pants or yoga pants or my husband's clothes (his were bigger than mine and fitted my growing belly while I was pregnant, which also saved money on maternity clothes).

Now I just wear a bra and panties all day. On the rare occasions when I can be bothered to put a shirt on, it will be one of my husband's. I can't even remember the last time I put on make up. My husband has asked more than than once "Do you go out dressed like that?", he clearly doesn't like me doing this. When I do go out, I'll throw on whatever fits and is clean. I know that spending days in only a bra and panties sets a terrible example to my kids, but it does mean I have to do less laundry and with 7 kids, I do an awful lot of laundry.

Please tell me if I'm the only one like this. Also, do you have any suggestions on how I could break this over 10-years old habit?

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Nicole - posted on 03/17/2013

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Mostly whatever fits and / or is clean. (Hopefully, it's clean.) Honestly, I just don't see the point. My SO changes into what we around our house call: "squishy pants" as soon as he gets home. I take online classes, have less than a couple of blocks to walk to drop off (at 6:45 in the morning,) and pick up my daughter after school, so I really just *do not* see the point of beating myself up over not looking professionally polished everyday. I do, however, try to go out at least once a week with a fairly solid routine of taking a shower, putting some make-up on, "doing" my hair, (look, ma' it's a barrette instead of a sloppy hair-tie bun!,) just to keep in the practice of using all that slop. It's a little sad, because that's the day that I go to the "fancy" grocery store, so yeah, I'm basically doing *all that* to go grocery shopping... I run into a few other stores as well, too, though, just to browse :) But, honestly, it's up to the individual, if you're starting to feel like you're "in a rut," or not as attractive / sexy as *you* want to be, then maybe it is time for a change. I understand that some of the ladies here feel the need to "dress it up" for their men at home, but for my family, (and myself,) I feel like that is kind of a bit of a double-standard. Moms, especially stay-at-home moms spend pretty much every day, for 10-12 hours a day working. Whether it's doing the laundry, cleaning house, helping with homework, cooking, getting the kids to and from wherever they need to go, we're all on call 24/7. Are husbands really expecting us to do this in high heels? Maybe I'm a little too attached to my yoga pants, but seriously, who gives, what gives and when would I do it?

Robin - posted on 03/18/2013

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I hate being cold so I am dressed head to toe. Around the house I'm not going to wear anything nice (usually PJ's or sweat/yoga pants) because I'm cleaning and crawling around on the floor with my 7 month old. I've never been a big fan of makeup (just special occasions) so that isn't part of my routine. Whatever works for you! Someday, if your kids are weirded out about you walking around in your underwear, you can just throw on a robe! haha

Segale - posted on 03/18/2013

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I think your husband would just like you to dress up for him every now and then. Try being all dolled up for him maybe once or twice a week. I mean if you're busy with the kids and can't find the time to then that's fine. But just make an effort to doll up every now and then. And sometimes it not that they really have a problem with you in your sweats or underwear, but maybe he wants you to make him feel like he's still relevant you know like he wants you to impress him.

MattatYah Bat - posted on 03/18/2013

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Well, I will not say you are setting a bad example for your kids, but its not a very good one either. Let me explain why I say this. People dress according to their personal convictions. Where one mom feels it's okay to walk around butt-naked all day, another mom will cover in a long dress and a head-covering. It's all of what the individual feels is the right thing to do. I'm very conservative, but if it were really up to me I'd probably walk around naked all day. ;-) Nevertheless, I have boys so we try to set an example of respect for them. It would be the same if I had girls. It seems to me that you are not happy with the way things are going for you and you may even be suffering a little bit of a burnout. With a house full of kids it doesn't take long. So to help with breaking the habit start by doing something special for yourself. Go out and buy a new outfit. It doesn't have to be expensive. Thrift shops have the coolest looks now-a-days. Doll yourself up a bit and go out for a nice night with just you and hubby. If he is complaining you definitely have to do something about the way you are dressing. And don't let anyone tell you any different. He's your husband so you should respect his views. Believe me he will look at other attractive women if he's not getting what he needs from you (I'm still on the topic of dressing, so bear with me). Men are very visual. Another thing that would be helpful is to pick out your best outfits and get rid of the sloppy duds. That way you won't have any goofy clothes to put on. You don't have to be Miss Glamour Girl everyday. Just commonsense stuff. As far as laundry, if your clothes don't get too soiled or smelly you can wear them a second time. These few steps will help you start making a transition. If you can't do them all, do at least one. I hope this helps. Peace.

Jillian - posted on 03/18/2013

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I'm a sahm of a 19 month old and 30 weeks pregnant..Most mornings I'm in just my under wear until I get my son up (because for some reason my nipples and belly button have to be covered or he for some reason rubs the top of my boob saying hey to the baby.. Not sure why he thinks she's in there!) but then I just put on a tank top.. Unless I'm going some where or someone comes over.. I'm in a tank top and underwear! I don't see a problem in bra and underwear.. I sit with my belly out most days so I'm basically in that also..

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Sarah - posted on 03/20/2013

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I do have to say that I could not imagine what is like to have seven children, but I do know that I always feel better when I dress up. If you dress up you will get compliments and it will be an esteem booster. Your children will feel the urge to want to dress nice as well and it may be less of a hassle in the morning to get them ready if you are ready and well dressed.

Jacqueline - posted on 03/19/2013

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I hate being cold as well so I am fully dressed. About the make up I think as long as you are clean and moisturize your face. I really don't see the need to wear make up all day everyday. I agree with some others that say dress nice for the hubby sometimes. I am sure He likes that.

Melissa - posted on 03/17/2013

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I saw several people say it wasn't setting a good example for you kids to wear just a bra and panty but not give a reason, I'm curious as to why people feel this sets a bad example. I still shower with my 3.5 year old boy and 14 month girl. The only reason I'm concerned about what I wear around the house is because of my 15 year old stepson. I have some nursing tanks with the built in bra (surprisingly supportive too) I mostly just wear one of those and comfy pants, I find it easier to motivate myself to get cleaning and whatnot done if I am comfortable. If I'm going out of the house I typically throw on jeans and either a t-shirt or sweatshirt, but it depends where I'm going. My husband could care less about what I'm wearing (well that's not true, he would prefer I wear nothing all the time, but since that's not a possibility, he doesn't care :-D). I don't wear makeup, but I never really have, I only do for specially occasions and being on a tight budget I feel like it's a waste of money anyways. I say just wear what works best for you and your family and what your comfortable in. If there's a problem then look into changing it.

Lynn - posted on 03/17/2013

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If I'm doing a lot of housework, yoga pants, shorts and a t-shirt or sweatshirt. If I'm going out, jeans and a hoodie or nice shirt. Depends on the weather and where I'm going. I try to wear make up each day and stay groomed nicely.

Julia - posted on 03/17/2013

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I wear comfy clothes like yoga pants and tshirts and sweaters while I am at home as my kids tend to get me dirty so why dirty my nice pants and shirts while at home, and I don't normally wear makeup, I always do my hair and when I go out I do put on jeans and a decent shirt. But if the kids get my clothes dirty I change them as soon as possible.
My husband comes home from work and takes off his good clothes right away as well. Comfort in the home, but wearing clothes with children present is a good idea.

Keri - posted on 03/17/2013

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I am a t-shirt & jeans (or shorts) kind of person. I don't know about just bra and panties all day - especially with the kids around. Maybe it's because my kid is a boy and I don't want all those questions yet, but I cover up when he's around. You should have your own clothes that fit your body, no matter what kind of clothes they are. The only sweatpants I own are on a high shelf in my closet because I barely use them, so your clothing situation is odd to me. I've never been one to wear makeup in the first place as I was a tomboy growing up mostly and athletic on top of that (why wear makeup when I'd just sweat it off at practice?) and once that ended I never really got into it. I'd say at least put a shirt on that covers your panties.

Shawanda - posted on 03/17/2013

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I would love to walk around in my panties and bra but i have a five year old son who is fasinated by boobs (already). I like sweat pants and yoga pants for the most part. I love to be comfortable. If i am volunteering at my son pre-k i will jazz it up a little bit jeans or maybe even some slacks but flats most of the time.

I do not wear make up. Never have beeen into that whole thing, But i will but on some gloss and maybe some eye shadow everynow and then. Being a SAHM of one and with him being active throughout the year i try to be ready for anything (yoga attire and tennis shoes),

Anastasia - posted on 03/17/2013

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Hahaha, thanks for making me laugh! I wish I could walk around the house wearing bra and panties, but I have two boys and I don't want them to see me almost naked, even though they are 3.5 and 16 months. I always put make up on, every day, even when I was in the hospital when I had them I used mascara and eye-shadow. At home I wear shorts (tight) and not baggy shirt. I want to look nice,because when i walk by mirror, I feel better about myself. I do all the chores, teach my kids, and I am taking online courses. So, i am busy mom, but I want to look nice and find time to do it. But everyone is different and if it makes you happy to wear bra and panties all day long, then do it. If not, then probably it is time for a change. Good luck!

Nelly - posted on 03/16/2013

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When the kids are at school I wear sweat pants but I always shower get dressed up do my hair and make-up before they get home from school and I always make the effort to look good for my husband and for my kids

Cassandra - posted on 03/16/2013

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Istarte to get into that kind of a rut so one day i threw all my clothes on my bed ( which sent my husband into an OCD panic) and tried on every piece. anything that was maternity, faded, torn, wholy, stained, etc... went straight into a bags for various destinations. then i sat down and with what was left of my wardrobe and asked myself, how do i want my kids to see me ( cool put together mom or sloppy embarissing mom0 ? What impression do i want to make? etc.

sometimes it helps to just start out maybe doing your make up once a week for a few weeks then make up and hair as so forth... then the YOU , you want your kids to remember will start to shine through.... once a month get yourself a new piece of clothing to add to your wardrobe.

i have 3 kids of my own 9 count my husband, parents, grandparents, and an uncle) it can be 9 or so ..lol.. that ii take care of or manage and there are days that i just dont care how i look or what i wear BUT thoose are the days that seem to be the most rewarding when you actually take a few moments to take care of you !

i hope this helps you.

Eve - posted on 03/15/2013

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I always put on makeup in the morning when I drop my kids off to school, even if it's just a little lipgloss. I refuse to be one of those moms going out in their PJs and slippers. At least if I have errands to run, I'm already dressed. My style largely depends on my mood that day -- it could be anywhere from jeans and a shirt/ sweater to a cute summer dress. But there are days when I'm just so depressed that I change back into my PJs as soon as I get home. I still keep the clothes I wore in the morning within reach just in case someone unexpectedly shows up or, God forbid, there was a fire and I had to run out! When it's time for me to pick up my kids from school, I just change out of my PJs again. I'm trying not to make a habit of this because I find that dressing nicely and putting on makeup makes it easier for me to pick myself out of a rut.

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Keep in mind that I only have one kid, and he's in school right now (and we don't do all of those activities year round--Baseball is only in the Spring, and guitar gets dropped and added as needed if we get too busy). I didn't get nearly that much done when J was a toddler!!

Liz - posted on 03/15/2013

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Wow, Kelly, you're the mom! :) I had to laugh at your description of your week, and then how you said your weekends are so crowded. Haha, I couldn't function if I had all that going on during the week!

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I would freeze my bum off if that's all I wore! Plus, even though I'm a sahm, I do leave the house everyday. I carpool with another mom--she takes the kids to school, I pick them up. Then there is either Taekwondo, gymnastics, baseball, or guitar lessons after school. I also go to the gym on weekdays, volunteer at the school twice a week, and at my local homeless shelters twice a week, and I go grocery shopping and run other errands during the day because weekends everything is so crowded.

Most days, if I'm just doing carpool & gym, I wear yoga pants and a fitted workout top. I MIGHT put some powder on my face after I shower at the gym, and I always wear some clear lip gloss. I keep my yoga pants in good condition--I'm very comfy, but I think I look cute enough to run outside, answer the door, or even run to the store if I need to.

If I'm volunteering or doing a lot of shopping, I wear jeans and a fitted tee or cute blouse. Still very casual and comfy, but a little more put together. I also add a little eye shadow and maybe eye liner to my powder and lip gloss ensemble.

I'm not overwhelmed by laundry, but then I've only got one kid. If I do a load per day, I can usually stay caught up, and I do towels and bedding on the days when we don't have a full load of clothing so I can stay in the routine of getting it done.

Liz - posted on 03/14/2013

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Well since it's usually the middle of the day before I can get a shower, I wear pajamas until I shower. Then my clothing doesn't change all that much even after I do shower. Sweat pants, t-shirts. And since I'm only wearing my clothes for half of the day I will wear them for a couple of days before I wash them. When I go out, I try to put on jeans at least - not sweat pants. Most of my sweat pants are way too long for me (I'm pretty short) and I can't stand walking on the ends outside. But it makes me feel better when I go out and I'm wearing something other than what I wear around the house. I have never been real big into makeup (after all, it's just one more thing I have to remove to get ready for bed each night) and I only put it on for special occasions, and even then it's not a lot. I would highly recommend you put some form of clothing on during the day. Have you never had the mailman or anyone else unexpected show up?! I would be scared of that! Heck, I still am when I'm in my pajamas!

Jan - posted on 03/14/2013

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Hey, to each their own. Bra and panties are too little for me, but maybe you can throw on a tanktop? I wear jeans and a tshirt, or jeans and a plaid shirt (my faves), sometimes I wear sweatpants (the light and airy comfy ones) and a tshirt (like today), and sometimes I'll wear yoga pants with a tshirt. I have to get dressed everyday because I walk my girls to school, but even on the weekends I have to at least wear something, juuuuust in case someone knocks on my door, or we get an earthquake or something. Yeah, I'm paranoid haha! When it comes to makeup, it's rare when I do wear it. I'll wear it when there's absolutely nothing more for me to do at home (cleaningwise), or if I have to go shopping, but I still don't wear it all the time. When I do, it's just pretty much mascara, blush, and chapstick. IMHO makeup isn't a must, enjoy your natural beauty, I say! :)

Michelle - posted on 03/13/2013

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I would never just wear my underwear all day! In winter I wear jeans or track pants, in summer I wear shorts and tee shirts.

I agree that you are not setting a good example for your children. I don't wear make up at home but I always wear clothes.

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