WHAT DO U DO WHEN YOUR CHILD START TALKING BACK TO YOU?

LEAH - posted on 09/12/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

13

45

1

WHEN YOUR CHILD GET TO AN CERTAIN AGE....THEY THINK THEY KNOW MORE THAN U . HOW DO YOU HANDLE IT?

4 Comments

View replies by

Dorene - posted on 09/12/2009

12

12

0

Depends on the age of the child(ren). My children are 9, 2 1/2, and 17mths. If it was my 9 year old we might have to start the conversation over and come up with a better way for her to use her words. I dont have and issue with her using her words, talking it out or telling me how she feels. We know and understand that its not what we say but how we say it and the choice of words we use to say it. Now my 2 1/2 year old, I have to ask her to clam down and tell her "I dont like it when you talk to me like that, its not okay!" in a firm tone but not so firm that she want talk or even feel like she can tell me what she wants. I know for her; shes excited about things and she may sound like shes yelling or out of turn but that just her. But still I have to correct her because I dont want that to be her everyday speaking voice/tone. As far as my youngest, hes still trying to put his words together and everything is still "no" or "mines". I still have to encourage him to use his words and to learn how to share but not forcefully ( because its not really sharing if you are made to do it and you dont really want too). I still have to speak for him and explain what I am doing and why Im doing it.

Novella - posted on 09/12/2009

47

50

6

I have had this with my Grandson also my son when he was younger

I told both of them that That kind of talk makes my heart hurt and it is not nice to hurt the ones you love.

so if you want to make my heart happy you need to talk nice to me and others.

LEAH - posted on 09/12/2009

13

45

1

Quoting Jamie:

Be open to the idea that they might know something that you don't. With that being said, I have gotten so frustrated with my son at times because of his unwillingness to take my advice or suggestions on what might be a better way to do something. I'm trying to think of a specific situation but I'm not coming up with anything yet. I remember a conversation I had with him once where I said that I thought he needed to be more open to other people's ideas, not dismissing his own but open to learn from others, and by "others' I mean mommy too. I went through a phase where I thought, if I say it he won't listen, if I have an idea he won't listen, but if dad, school buddy, or grandma say it he'd listen. I'm not sure how accurate my feelings were at this time but I do know it's not like that now. When my son started the "talking back" I put an immediate stop to it which looking back I think was a good idea because if you let it bother you for too long without saying anything or trying to correct it I think it will be harder to change their behavior if they've kind of made it a habit. I just remember when my son would say, "I know" or "I KNOW" (with attitude) after everything I would tell him he needed to do or when I would suggest a new way of doing something. I didn't really handle it the first few times he said it but I did know that I did not like it when he said, "I KNOW" like he just knew everything. Suddenly it dawned on me that he was "talking back". So the next time he said it, I said Josiah, do not talk back to me. Then I had to explain what I meant by that and how it made me feel. Then I told him he should say "yes ma'am" instead, when I've asked him to do something. Then talked to him about being open to new ideas and suggestions from other people (including mommy) and that guess what, you don't know everything. And to have that kind of attitude, even if you did know everything, is not very nice or fun to be around. Well, I don't know if this will help but I can say that it's been a long time since I've heard him say, "I KNOW!"


 

Jamie - posted on 09/12/2009

1

15

1

Be open to the idea that they might know something that you don't. With that being said, I have gotten so frustrated with my son at times because of his unwillingness to take my advice or suggestions on what might be a better way to do something. I'm trying to think of a specific situation but I'm not coming up with anything yet. I remember a conversation I had with him once where I said that I thought he needed to be more open to other people's ideas, not dismissing his own but open to learn from others, and by "others' I mean mommy too. I went through a phase where I thought, if I say it he won't listen, if I have an idea he won't listen, but if dad, school buddy, or grandma say it he'd listen. I'm not sure how accurate my feelings were at this time but I do know it's not like that now. When my son started the "talking back" I put an immediate stop to it which looking back I think was a good idea because if you let it bother you for too long without saying anything or trying to correct it I think it will be harder to change their behavior if they've kind of made it a habit. I just remember when my son would say, "I know" or "I KNOW" (with attitude) after everything I would tell him he needed to do or when I would suggest a new way of doing something. I didn't really handle it the first few times he said it but I did know that I did not like it when he said, "I KNOW" like he just knew everything. Suddenly it dawned on me that he was "talking back". So the next time he said it, I said Josiah, do not talk back to me. Then I had to explain what I meant by that and how it made me feel. Then I told him he should say "yes ma'am" instead, when I've asked him to do something. Then talked to him about being open to new ideas and suggestions from other people (including mommy) and that guess what, you don't know everything. And to have that kind of attitude, even if you did know everything, is not very nice or fun to be around. Well, I don't know if this will help but I can say that it's been a long time since I've heard him say, "I KNOW!"

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms