what do you do when your child bites you?

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Gayl - posted on 07/30/2010

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I smack them. Not too hard, just enough to shock them and they never do it again. It's worked on all three of mine. I know most people will freak about this but seriously, they never bit anyone again. You don't knock them on their butts or anything, just give them enough of a sting that they relate that pain with what they just did and they instantly make the connection and understand. Then, don't forget to give them the same amount of praise when they do what you want!!

MJB - posted on 07/29/2010

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A firm "no-no". But he was always pretty good, that stage lasted maybe a week. I also threw in praise when we would practice kisses instead of bites. We'd play a game I'd hold my arm out and say, "Bite it or kiss it?" (with the frowny face and the happy face for each), He'd say, "Kiss it!" And he'd kiss it! I'd praise and clap and kiss him. Then he'd hold out his arm and say it. I'd say, "Hmmmm...should I bite it or kiss it?" He'd smile and say..."Kiss!" He loved that!

Bethany - posted on 07/31/2010

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Stop whatever we're doing and hold her arm and say very loudly and in a very gruff voice (I can have a VERY gruff voice when I need to) "UH UH NO BITE, NO BITE." which scares the living begeezus out of her and she cries, usually, and I say "did you bite Mummy? Say Sorry Mummy." and she wipes her hand where she bit and says "Orry" very sweetly. Then wants to be picked up and cuddled, which I do, because it's all over, and we are moving on with our day.



She mostly only bites out of frustration, when she's getting tired and things aren't going her way or her pace, so I see it as a cue to get her ready for her nap or bed time. She's a really quiet, smart, happy kid, she just expresses her frustration through biting, and sometimes pinching, which gets the same treatment.



Also, she carries around a muslin everywhere and I say bite your wooby, and she gives it a big bite, and she has a little thing that looks like a little rubber dumbell we call Bitey and I say where's your Bitey and she gives it a big bite. If she's teething, sometimes she just needs to bite, so I give her acceptable things to bite, and if I sense she's in that mood, I pre-empt it and tell her what is ok to bite. She also has a teddy lion, whose nose gets a hell of a beating, or should I say, biting.



She's never bitten anyone else, only me, so I see it as a call for help to calm down when she forgets how. She's 18 mths.

[deleted account]

I did the same thing with my son when he bit as I did when he slapped or hit. I just sat him down on the floor and walked away.
My son seemed to think biting/hitting was a fun game, but by sitting him down and with holding my attention, I taught him that if he bit or hit, the game was over and he didn't get to play with mommy any more.

Lori - posted on 08/03/2010

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Darlisha- my son thinks it's funny too. And when I talked to his dr he said the same thing..ignore it. that didnt do a damn thing. although the more yelling and say no i did seemed to make it worse too. no attention didnt help, lots of attention didnt help..i even tried smacking his hand, biting him back..you name it ive done it and ive been at my witts end with it. sometimes i can tell hes teething and in pain and other times hes frustrated and thats how he's showing it. being REALLY consistent with the time out in the booster seat is the ONLY thing that seems to help. He's even getting to the point where I can say, "do you want to go in timeout?" and he will say "no" and stop. not all the time, but i can def see he's getting the point.

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[deleted account]

Use I statements I feel sad when you bit me because it hurts.... If child is younger Say something like Hurts mummy stop..... and move child into a quieter area for 2 minutes.... time out should be the age of the child no more........ or less
If the child finds it hard to sit and wait you can but a 2 min ute eggs timer so they sit and watch it until they calm down...
http://www.parentstoolshop.com/HTML/tips...

Ashley - posted on 08/03/2010

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Either bite him back or time out. My step son is 21 months now, and we went through that stage, it was pretty bad, we bit him back and put him right into time out and that seems to work. He is out of that stage now, and he still tries to bite occasionally, but i ask if he wants time out and he stops. Hopefully that will work for you.

[deleted account]

Well Winter loves to bite people. Well mainly just me. I just crumble to the floor in a heap and she lies down next to me and pats my head to see if I'm alright. Though recently she has moved on from biting and now she is totally into dancing. Yay. I think that it may just be a phase. Mainly from all their little teethies coming through..

Stifler's - posted on 08/02/2010

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how old is the brother?? if he like older than 4 he's probably stirring her.

Carol - posted on 08/02/2010

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In that case then she should be flipped in the mouth for what she has done, she is old enough at that age to know that biting is wrong and if she doesn't stop it after she has been flipped in the mouth a few times then mom you'd better get her in to a doctor to find out why she gets so mad that she feels she has to bite her brother.

Misty - posted on 08/02/2010

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what do you do when the biter is an 8 yr old who bites her brother when she gets really mad at him?

L. Nicole - posted on 08/02/2010

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I think it's important to acknowledge that everything our parents did wasn't necessarily the best solution. Why would you tap a baby who bites while breastfeeding? In that situation it's not done purposefully. Usually a reaction of hurt is more effective than tapping. They don't understand that, but they do understand a painful reaction from Mommy. Parents should explore all other options before resorting to physical punishment.

Stifler's - posted on 08/02/2010

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I'm not in a bubble. Don't try to start a personal argument with me just because you don't like what I've said. My mum tapped us and so do a lot of mums when their baby bites them when they're breast feeding. They didn't hurt us and I'm not dead so whatever.

L. Nicole - posted on 08/02/2010

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My oldest son bit me once and I screamed because it hurt and he never did it again, because he didn't want to hurt Mommy. My youngest son is 15 months and he thinks it's funny. What has worked for me is CONSISTENTLY and FIRMLY telling him "No, that hurts and I don't like it. Stop." Some kids push the boundaries more than others and take longer to stop the behavior. Just be patient and it will subside if you continually address the issue immediately. Discipline is about teaching your children to make good decisions. I've found that timeouts and spanking/popping don't resonate well before ages 3-4.



Nicole Williams

TwentySomethingMoms.wordpress.com

Brooke - posted on 08/02/2010

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my mom just would bite us back but it really doesnt help to yell or just say no. kids will just say no to you more. explain to them over and over why its bad and to it back to them if need be. or time out would be an option too but you have to be stern with it and not let them out just cause they say they are sorry. cause they will most likely do it again

Yvonda - posted on 08/02/2010

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I had this problem with my son, we tried ignoring him and gently biting him back, but eventually we just started putting him in time out for 2 minutes at a time, I don't really know if thats what worked of this is just a phase that some babies go through, but he stopped biting...good luck!

Sunel - posted on 08/02/2010

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No Emma,u r the only one in that bubble, but what im saying is that u dont smack small babies, children start biting coz of teething, they are looking for a relief. Dont smack ur 6 month old baby

Carol - posted on 08/02/2010

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You need to let your child know that it is not right to bite you or anyone else for that matter, some mothers have bitten their child back but not as hard as the child bit them just hard enough to show the child that it hurts, If your child learned it from another child then you need to talk to that child's parent(s) if your child ever gets bitten and the skin is broken and your child bleeds get them to the doctor or ER right away for a tetnus shot HUMAN BITES are worse than animal bites.

Angy - posted on 08/02/2010

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I tell him ow if he does it again i repeat ow and bite back..... he understands it hurts.

Rachael - posted on 08/01/2010

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honestly, i know its bad but i bit him back. when it didnt work i smacked his mouth and cried and he felt bad, gave me a kiss and never did it again. he hurt me. he needs to know how it feels and he did but i noticed with my son, letting him know i am hurt and putting him in time out works even better!

Darlisha - posted on 08/01/2010

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Well, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and how they raise their own children, but some children do not respond to talking and time outs. I don't agree with physical abuse or hitting a child where they are bruised. I only pop him on his hands just enough to shock or startle him and it makes him stop what he's doing and that's only after I have tried every other alternative. But your advice has been very helpful. Thank you.

Bryce - posted on 08/01/2010

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I don't agree with the smacking them thing. I don't believe in physical discipline , some mothers might but i don't think it's necessary to hit someone , and it never is no matter their age. I would just talk to your son/daughter and tell them that biting is not nice. Using time outs are very affective for most children because they do not like being alone , and left out from anything. if that does not work... then take away a privilege or something. I wish i could help more. Good luck.

Angela - posted on 08/01/2010

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my daughter thinks its funny when i raise my voice too:( and ignorring her makes her do it harder and more then stop...im trying the ignore so she gets no reaction. they do say negative reaction is still a reaction and its what they want. good luck!!!!

Gill - posted on 08/01/2010

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My 19m daughter has just started biting her sisters, she gets a very firm 'NO!', I firmly sit her down away from her sisters, tap her teeth and say 'you DO NOT bite!' then I go back to whoever she's bitten and give them a big cuddle. It does make her cry which makes me feel guilty, but she's one of three and her sisters wouldn't get away with it......

my friends little boy went though a stage of biting and saying 'naughty' words, she used a squirt of lemon juice in his mouth for biting and pepper on his tongue for naughty words, he doesn't do either now lol

Darlisha - posted on 08/01/2010

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I know what u mean. I thought you meant like smack him in his face. Every parent I know pops their children on their hands or legs. I do it also. I try not to do it as much because it is a learned behavior to hit people. Only when I feel like nothing else is working and it's completely neccessary.

Stifler's - posted on 07/31/2010

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Um it seems to me that a lot of people smack their children. My parents smacked me and I don't hit them or think it's okay to hit them.

Sara - posted on 07/31/2010

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Bite him back. not hard enough to break skin but enough to get his attention and then put him in time out. we did that with my brother when he was young and it worked. yelling and hitting dont accompish much alota kids think yelling is funny and hitting will only make your child afraid of you

Michelle - posted on 07/31/2010

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exactly its the shock value! You don't want to hurt your baby just cause them to think "what the?"

Jamie - posted on 07/31/2010

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Oh and my friend thumped her child on the chin ( not enough to hurt use common sense) just for shock and it seemed to work.

Jamie - posted on 07/31/2010

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I was only bit once. I pulled her away from me, I told her no (I raised my voice slightly you don't have to yell), I had a hurt expression on my face, and then I walked away from her and wouldn't pick her up for 10 minutes. That was 4 months ago, and it never happened again. They are much smarter then people think.

Michelle - posted on 07/31/2010

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My daughter went through that stage very young...and ironically enough so was the puppy we had. I did the loud "Ow Lily! NO! That hurt's mommy!" I would give her a little tap on the mouth, just hard enough where she looked at me like "hey!" but not enough to even hurt. She's now 3 and has done it a couple of times, so I did the "OW! You don't do that! Do you want mommy to bite you like that?" after the first time. After that I give her a nibble on her hand or arm hard enough to make her notice but to not even leave a mark.

My grandfather lived by the "bite them back" philosophy, and so did his kids.

Sunel - posted on 07/31/2010

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EMMA, it seems to me that u are smacking your 6 month old on her/his hands,(or so), as u are encourageing and giving advice on that topic, i dont think any mother likes smacking their babies, infact to hit your baby LEARNS them that its ok to hit.U sound like a new mom and have much to learn about our precious children. smacking a baby under a year is just not cool at all

A - posted on 07/31/2010

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Again, my son also just laughs when I yell at him. He's done this since a very young age. I think some babies are more perceptive at reading emotions and are sensitive to them, hence some people's babies responding to yelling or using a stern voice. From my experience this just doesn't always work and can actually make a game out of it.

Rachel - posted on 07/31/2010

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I have been told a few things. One person told me to pinch their nose and that worked for her and her children never bit her. I have also been told to flick them on the cheek and that stops them. When my daughter bit for the first time I yelled OUCH! and it startled her. Then I followed by Do Not Bit Mommy That Hurts! She cried (I have a sensitive daughter) and she refused to nurse for the rest of the night and the next morning (she is stubborn too). It seemed to work though.

Jami Aka JamiQuan - posted on 07/31/2010

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Because he is so little honestly there is little to be done He is not quite able to connect what he is doing for what you want him not to do. I suggest redirecting him when he bits. It may be his way to gain your attention because that seems to do the trick.This will pass is the good thing.

A - posted on 07/30/2010

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My son is a biter too, when he is teething only. Nothing works....time out, restraining him, biting back (gently) smacking (lightly), yelling, ignoring...nothing has worked. So he just continues to bite me. I know its not much help but nothing has worked. I stopped smacking quickly because he just learned to hit back so that was a bad idea. (It was just a light tap- nothing severe). Funny thing- when he is in one of his biting moods he never bites my husband, even if we try to get him to bite him instead. He'll even lightly put his mouth on my husband. Then he'll crawl back to me and bite me really hard....it sucks.

Darlisha - posted on 07/30/2010

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Yes, he still has teeth that need to come in, but he doesnt like the teething toys. he just throws them. he has just resorted to the pinching and scratching too. lol. I have my hands full with all three at one time.

[deleted account]

I say don't bite and put her in "time out" at least as much of one as an 8 month old gets, which basically in tales getting put down in the corner until she stops crying and gets distracted by a toy.

Francesca - posted on 07/30/2010

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Whenever you can move into the bite don't pull away. That puts pressure on the mouth and kids don't like that.

Dawn - posted on 07/30/2010

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Out of 4 children, my youngest (he's going through this phase now) is the only one that ever did this. We put a high chair in the corner so when he hits or bites, he goes in it. It's doesn't have any toys or anything so he knows it's the "I'm in trouble" chair. Since we started putting him in time out, he doesn't do it nearly as often. He hasn't bitten anyone in over two weeks and hasn't hit anyone is over a week. I really hope we're done with that. Good luck!

Priya - posted on 07/30/2010

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I just don't knw. My daughter does that very often to my mother in law, but not to me....It is because my mother in law does not scold her but I do. Thats why she takes advantage of her. It is not right at all. Normally, I will tell her in a good manner so that she would understand and don't repeat it again, if it still goes on then I'l start scolding. Thats how they learn.....

[deleted account]

Tell them that it is not acceptable behavior and give them a warning not to do it again and if they do put them in a timeout appropriate to their age....3yrs...3 minutes....let them sit there for the timeout without them getting out and if they stay...ask them for an apology and tell them why they were there...give kisses and hugs and let them go play. Be consistent...and dont' ever put up with them biting or hitting you or anyone.

Sarah - posted on 07/30/2010

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I found out that discouraging mouthing at all curbed the biting habit for both my boys. The first go around was the biting while nursing when they were about 6 months and teething. This resulted in stopping the session even if they were not finished, leaving a baby hungry has a big impact on his behavior. When they bit as older children they got time out or if we were snuggling, bed time, etc I would put them down/ away from me and/or they would have their routine curtailed. Biting means immediate loss of whatever they are interested in for at least 2 minutes then they have to appologize. They still bite now and then, but we are working on it.
Good luck

Jane - posted on 07/30/2010

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I used "Biter's Toothpaste". Regular toothpaste is very very strong flavored to a little one, and when they would bite, I would have them brush their teeth with it, while telling them that if they were going to bite, they had to have very clean mouths, and had to use "Biter's Toothpaste". They stopped after one brushing.

Alyssa - posted on 07/30/2010

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I bit him back and then ask him if that hurt and he starts whining a little bit. My son has only bit me 2-3 times, pulled my hair once, and we are still working on slapping. I just do it back to him and then ask him if it hurt in a firm voice.

[deleted account]

put them in time out and if that doesn't work after a week or two I bite them back once or twice and they stopped.

Samantha - posted on 07/29/2010

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when my son went through the biting stage i would eith bite hime back(not hard) and i would tell him no bite and then if he did it again i would spank his hand and put him in his hig chair without the tray cause mine converts to a boster seat so i would sit him in that strapped in and walk away from him for about 2 mins and then he would want to give me hugs and kisses and it only lasted for about 2 weeks and then he just stopped

Bonnie - posted on 07/29/2010

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I told my biter no, that's not nice. Then I would put him in time out, with no attention from mum.
If they are looking for some oral stimulation, being new with teeth, make sure they have some toys that are made for chewing on, the ones with different bumps and such. Is your son still teething?
Biting down on a chewable toy, helps calm the pain.
My mum would bite us back, not really hard, but enough to cause us to stop and think. I like the natural soap idea for an older biter. Personally raising my voice and smacking their hand didn't stop my son from biting. He only bit his older brother and me. He learned pretty quickly not to bite, and then moved onto pinching and scratching. So I had to change the way I handled that. Trimmed nails down regularly, and pinched him back, and told him no pinch, not nice. He is getting over that too. Good luck.

Stifler's - posted on 07/29/2010

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i don't mean like smacking really hard! like smack his hands or something and let him know you mean business.

Erica - posted on 07/29/2010

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I don't believe it's too harsh. It just didn't work with my child. I spank my daughter (not starting a fight) when needed. Not for small things but when the bitting/slapping got out of hand that is what I resorted to. Just make sure you show them you still love them afterwards.

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