What helped you decide how many kids to have?

Renae - posted on 07/09/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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So sparing details, I am a sahm to a 3 year old & 5 month old. I really want more kids but our days are so hectic & stressful already, I can't imagine adding another to the mix. I wonder if its just their young age, two in diapers, constantly needing me or if it will remain this demanding even after baby/ toddler years?
When baby #2 was first born & through those first TOUGH three months my husband & I would say, "HOW EASY would it be it we just had ONE!!" But now as baby is older and things a little less stressful, outgrown reflux, sleeping through the night etc. I think while its STILL hard, it's doable. Would that be the case going from 2 to 3 or would we have WISHED we had stopped at two?
Thanks in advance

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Denikka - posted on 07/11/2013

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I firmly believe (and have had others around me who have multiples say the same) that the BIGGEST jump is going from a single child to two. Going from 2 to 3 children (where I have just landed myself, my third child was born a week ago) is drastically easier. Not to say that it's not still difficult, but it is a lot easier than going from 1 to 2.
After the third child, you just kind of end up with a pack and more after that doesn't really affect things much (coming from my cousins who are currently awaiting their 8th child (oldest is 14 I believe) and from my dad who has 5 under the age of 12 :P)

How many children you have, how many it takes to complete your family, completely depends on you. Some would regret having 2, or 3 or however many. You need to sit down and thing about whether or not your family is complete, and if it's not, when you would want to have another. Spacing is another thing that is totally dependent. Mine are 22 months and 30 months apart (4, 2 and newborn right now). A lot of people think I'm crazy for having them so close. Some would rather wait 3 or 5 years between kids. It all depends on you and your hubby.
If your children have a history of being difficult babies (reflux, colic, etc), I would personally wait for a while. I've been really lucky with my kids, good sleepers, eaters, etc. My son (oldest-4yrs) is potty trained and my daughter (2yrs) is well on her way as well. So I've been very lucky and that really played into having my kids so close together. You really just have to judge for yourself :)

Angel - posted on 07/10/2013

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My pregnancy & delivery was a big deciding factor, I was miserable!
I did not glow or blossom or have cute pregnancy querks.
I was swollen, sick, sore, & depressed.
Then during labor I ended up needing a c-section as my labor did not progress after almost 20 hours...
Nope never doing that again!
Afterwards I had bad postpartum blues, sad, fighting with hubby, no sex drive...
Now years later, kiddo is in school things are more settled & I am no longer depressed.
But I refuse to put myself through all of that again.
One is more than enough.
The only thing I would consider is adoption. But financially we can't afford another, so one it is! :)
plus, I am FINALLY going back to school & work soon, not doing ANYTHING to delay that anymore! :)

Sarah - posted on 07/09/2013

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We have 3 kids and are thinking about adding another in a year or two. I would not change how our life is. Yes it can be busy, but we love it.

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