What is the best way to cut down on the tantrums?

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Tegan - posted on 09/17/2009

26

37

5

my first didnt throw many tantrums, but my second, throws mega tantrums. i find getting down to her level and simple reasoning does help minmise the tantrum. But letting her be angry is important too, they do need to learn how to handle their emotions. giving them the words to express themselves is sometimes helpful too.



I agree with Holly giving warning and plenty of time for them to prepare helps.

But i find their mood has a big impact on how things go.



goodluck.

[deleted account]

1) Make sure they are getting the love and affection they need. Don't ignore them- as I sometimes catch myself doing b/c I hear them so much. Even a "wait a minute" is better than ignoring.

2) make sure you don't throw them yourself. I see moms whining and throwing tantrums all the time.

3) Never plead or bargain.

4) Flat out don't talk to much. Kids get used to moms talking nonstop and especially when moms say something they don't mean, kids literally block it out and fail to hear.

5) ALL kids throw tantrums, but just b/c they all do doesn't mean that it should ever be allowed. My kids would get a spanking, but when I am dealing with someone elses I usually put them in a chair and let them know they can get down when they are through b/c that is not allowed!

6) My youngest is 12 months. She needs to be taught so I work with her. If she tries to throw herself down I immediately pick her up and say "no no". Of course sometimes she still cries, but rather than bargain with her, I keep working with her. The moment she begins to obey, I tell her what a good girl she is and take her away from the situation to cuddle somewhere else. I think patience is key!

7) everybody says "prevention". I don't completely agree- I am not going to totally change my life and go out of the way to avoid things just so my kids never throw a tantrum. BUT making sure they are well fed and rested, have something to occupy them, etc. will go along way. I have no idea how old your kid is, but when my daughter was two, she had a serious problem with walking AWAY from the merry-go-round at the mall. My idea of prevention is telling her "We are getting ready to walk by the merry go round, but Mommy doesn't want to pay for you to ride it today. Are you going to be a GOOD girl and make Mommy happy or are you going to whine and cry so everyone is looking at you?" Doesn't work EVERY time, but will work eventually. I think it helps if they can try to prepare themselves.

Just some ideas. I don't know what is normal, but my kids had for sure stopped throwing tantrums by the time they were 3. I still see kids 4 and 5 doing it, but I'd like to think that ISN'T normal.

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