what is the best way to deal with sibling rivalry?????My 10 and 5 year old are always arguing, HELP

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Rika - posted on 11/05/2009

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My sister has 3 children, 3yr girl, 7 yr boy and 10 yr girl, always have sibling rivalry... Once,... my sister sent the oldest to spent the holiday at my aunt place for a week . and for 2 days I only let her to talk her parents (by phone), not to her siblings... and my aunt told her that it's no used because ... they'll arguing on the phone ... (my sister do the same to her 2 children)
On the 3rd day ... she cried and said that she missed them so much and promised to become a patient sister for them ... so I let her talk to the younger brother ... they talk for half hour without arguing ... and laughed all the time.
on the 4th day, she asked to go home ...
After the experienced ... my sister told me that the sister has becoming more patient to her siblings and this influenced the brother ... but the rivalry not totally set ... it reduced it from all the time to sometimes ...
I hope my sister experienced would give you idea or something better to deal with your own ... good luck ...

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I have 2 teens, a big gap, and then a 7 and 5 year old. The oldest argued terribly. I started putting them in a room and not letting them out till they had settled things between the 2 of them. I had to intervene the first few times because they had no idea how to move forward. That seemed to help some.

They are better friends now. Some maturity on both their parts goes a long way.

Kevin Leman recommends that neither of them gets to go to whatever program they are involved in if they have been fighting. Might work better than what I tried.

My youngest two always seem to wind up sharing their chores. It happened by accident, really - but having them daily work together stuff like emptying the dishwasher and setting the table, seems to be giving them tools for solving other problems too.

Sometimes they just fight for the fun of it - or for attention - or because they are bored. Figuring out what's behind it would help, too.

Kristina - posted on 11/05/2009

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I hear ya! I have an 8 year and a 5 year old daughter. They have always had big sibling rivalry! If you get this one figured out I would like to know the answer too! Good luck!

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