what is the hardest thing to you about being a sahm?

Tanya - posted on 05/09/2012 ( 35 moms have responded )

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i LOOOVVVEbeing a sahm but sometimes i do miss being in the work environment having everyday adult conversation

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Grace - posted on 05/16/2012

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I love the reading programs at thelibrary for kids. Those are often free and coincide with the school year. Great place to meet moms. Good weather discover a new park each week.
Membership to a children's museum. RainyDay life saver!!!! Totally worthit. Find one that allows you to visit network museums for a small fee or free.

Kristina - posted on 06/12/2012

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I think the hardest thing is dealing with my husband! They think its so easy staying home all day with the kids. When actually its a full time job. Drives me nuts when he says things like "well you were home all day why couldnt you do it?" ill tell you why buddy because I had a 3 year old who would stop asking questions and throwing things. A 3 month old who seems to think I am a walking buffet. Laundry that seems to keep growing the more I do. I am a maid, a chef, a doctor, a friend and just about everything else rolled into one. So tell me between the 1,000 jobs I do a day where was there time to do those dishes? lol

Erin - posted on 06/08/2012

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I hate being poor. I never have any money but I can't afford daycare. It's too expensive. I have to beg for money all the time. It gets really wearing and boreing. I feel trapped in the house. I get sick of other people's comments about how I should get a job and everyone's doing it just fine, but if you actually weed whack through to the truth almost ALL of these supposed working moms have a husband at home who watches the kids so she can work, has a family memeber who watches the kids for free, or has an aresonal of welfair that pays all their bills. I don't have any of those things and I just get tired of the pressure. No matter who hard you work at home and with the kids no matter how many sleepless nights no one appreciates you at all.

Ana - posted on 06/07/2012

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The hardest thing for me right now, (new to this, just since Jan 2012), is balancing in my mind the idea that just because I am not working and bringing in major bucks like before, I am still being productive with my baby, and my home life.

So far I've arrranged almost everything, went to college, went to another technical school, and I started to see in May that I was just trying really hard to keep myself busy outside of the house, because I didn't see the House as a very productive place for a person like me.

But I cancelled college for the summer, and I am dedicating the whole summer to my daughter and my hubby. So far, it's easier to cater to her because I'm not hoping she goes to sleep so I can study....

Jasleen - posted on 06/07/2012

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the hardest thing for me is that i don't have money anymore. i cant buy things i want no more... im getting fat.. coz im lazy! lol

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[deleted account]

I agree with most of the previous responses! There are a LOT of hard things about being a SAHM. Haha. So adding to all that-- A facebook friend posted a cartoon yesterday of two women talking, and the caption read, "I hear ya. Raising kids and running a house keep me busy too. I also have this little gig on the side called a full-time job." And when someone commented that it was offensive she lashed out about it being just a  funny joke and it was taken all wrong, blah blah blah. Then added to the response to the one who was offended "Good for you for staying home, I help provide for my family." THAT is what I find hardest about being a SAHM. That sarcastic, condescending, unsupportive, and belittling attitude from people who have NO ******* clue what it is to be a SAH parent. Comments implying that parents who work do every bit that we do but also go to work and provide for the family. Whether they think we have it easy, or we're lazy, or we don't contribute to society because we don't work, those attitudes are what make being a SAHM so much harder. There are many aspects of it that are difficult, but the load is lightened when you at least feel appreciated and validated for all you do. When you're talked down to, or about, (or made the butt of a supposedly very funny "joke") it's harder to see the rewards in all your hard work and sacrifices. And these people view you so small and your feelings so invalid that they actually get angry that you'd dare be offended that they criticize YOUR life choices for the best of your family. Yeah. That's what makes it all hardest in my experience.

Katrín Ösp - posted on 06/16/2012

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I don´t like when I´m sick and my youngest who is five months old is sick and it is sunny and nice outside. My two other sons who are two and four are home very energetic and want to play outside.

Stacey - posted on 06/13/2012

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being responsible for my well being, health, making sure I eat regularly and get enough sleep and alone time and at the same time being responsible for the same things for my kids. It's just a lot of responsiblity. Brain is always turning, thinking, anticipating what needs or will come next in the day. It's like my brain never turns off. And, the lack of empathy from DH. Until he does it, he will never get it. It's hard only being able to commiserate with other moms.

Denise - posted on 06/12/2012

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I just scanned over most of the responses to this post and completely agree with most of them.I am a SAHM to a 2 yr old girl and an 8 month old boy.I have plenty of things to add to this conversation.They are all equally hard.For starters,I hate constantly hearing "Why are you complaining?You have it so easy.I wish I could stay home in the ac all day with nothing to do.I'd have it spotless and be looking for more to do."This comes from my husband who is clueless to how difficult it is to be in charge of a young person's well-being and a household.Im so sick of him thinking I just sit on my ass all day and do nothing.If I do nothing,how is it possible that our 2 yr old was talking by 1,now knows how to spell her name,recite the alphabet,is fully potty trained,and can count to almost 20.She's so smart she makes some kindergarteners look special-ed.

I also hate lack of a social life.Is it just me or do women without kids seem to run at the sight of moms and their kids?I have not kept in touch with any of my friends I had before kids.I never have time to really get out now because the kids go everywhere with me-even when their father is home.

I also dont like always being broke but thats mostly just from having kids.I just tell myself that I can find a job when the kids are school-aged to help out financially.I just have to prove to others that what I do for my children is priceless.The world needs to understand that money does not always determine a person's worth.

Lastly,I dont like having to do everything for everyone.Just because I dont work outside of the home doesnt mean I should do it all.I wash dishes,cook all meals,dress the kids,change diapers,do never-ending laundry for 4 people,go grocery shopping,bathe the kids,feed the kids,pay the bils/manage finances,and the list goes on.It would not kill a man to occasionally change a diaper or give a bath just because.And if we ask you to do it dont bitch at us about it.

Ok,Im done now.just had to get that off my chest.Although I went a bit overboard ,I know a lot of you can relate to this situation.

Jamie - posted on 06/07/2012

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The hardest for me is that I want some alone time. I have a 3yr old and 9m old, and I really miss the alone time (shower and bathroom, they are there too!) I miss feeling needed by my co-workers, getting the job done and getting the praise for it. SAHM dont get the praise and would help if we did sometimes.

Stifler's - posted on 05/26/2012

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You know what really gives me the shits? When I leave my kids at home to nip down to the shop for milk or groceries and I get the 3rd degree about where are the kids? Is Damian babysitting? Oh you're childless today! How does he go watching the kids while you go out? (WHY WOULD I PROCREATE WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN'T EVEN BE A PARENT TO OUR KIDS?) If he's home why would I take them to get groceries? Or shop for new clothes or birthday presents for them.

[deleted account]

The hardest thing for me is that we only have one car, and my husband has to use it right now. Even with gas at 4.50/gal it is less expensive for him to drive to work than take the bus. We are saving up for him to get a longboard. There aren't any parks in walking distance, so my daughter and son don't get as much time outside as I'd like.

[deleted account]

We really enjoy Homeschooling Tanya. There are lots of support groups in different areas and lots of guidance on line. Our five boys never needed the support grous much because they had each other to play and squabble with.
Our two girls where more the social butterflies and drama queens.
The children pretty much followed their own hearts desires with our support.
The two older girls 29 and 28 have left home and have great jobs. Our first born son 21 is A United States Marine MP in Afghanistan right now. Our 18 year old son just restored his 64 Honda dream (motor bike) and is almost done with his full rebuild of his Camaro Z28 with a 383 stroker. The younger lads are all super active in Boyscouts. Three of our sons are already Eagle Scouts alread, two others will be soon. With listening to what your children are interested in it helps the learning process as you have already sparked their brilliant minds.

Tanya - posted on 05/26/2012

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cindy--how was homeschoolignyour children? we have talked about it and if finances allow that is something i would like to do

[deleted account]

I once read that when you hear your child say " I am bored" that it is a good thing. We tend to over schedule our children these days and to sit and watch the clouds float by being bored is I feel a good thing from time to time. We have homeschooled our seven children for the past 30 years because we feel we can do a better job than anyone with our children.
I am super relaxed in my approach ( I like relaxed rather than lazy) whereas my husband is super scheduled and organized. Then children are getting a great balance. We don't have cable as a babysitter but do have Netflix when we can actually plan what we watch. I agree that libraries are wonderful and planting your own garden is so fun for the whole family.
All my relatives are in England so my downside is I can't pop over to my Mums for visit and a cup of tea every day. We also do not have any married children yet or any Grandchildren! Hopefully we have not put our children off family life forever with our large close family.

Tanya - posted on 05/23/2012

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ahhhh the never ending piles of laundry!! my daughter is 2 and she loooves clothes! she can change into bout 5 outfits a day!! now that summer is here i filled up our calendar with things to do we are part of 2 local playgroup they do things at chikfila, mall, parks, library, ect. the movies does a neat thing they have $3.00 movies for kids i will take them to see the smurfs in 2 weeks and they get a drink and popcorn...the public pool opens this weekend so we will be going there alot and we live near the lake too taking our double pool float with us! if any of you know anyone with twins or two small kids you can google it its called the Duo Splash Float on facebook too

Bethany - posted on 05/18/2012

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not feeling like I do enough. I feel a bit lazy if I'm not doing great things with my daughter. I think "if she were in childcare, she'd be painting and playing games and singing together and having playdoh and making things."

we do all that, just not all day every day , so when I'm lying on the couch and she's watching a movie and colouring in, I feel like a bit of a lazy bum, but then I just think how many other mums would love to be lying on the couch at that moment and I get over it pretty quickly, and then take her outside to play in the garden.

She's not a tantruming kid, never has been, so my life is pretty cruisey.

Liz - posted on 05/17/2012

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I second the decision-making thing. I mean, I make decisions ALL DAY that are in the best interest of the kids. So when I ask where you want to go for dinner for our date, just make a decision! Don't leave it up to me! Ok, got that out of my system...:)

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/17/2012

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Oh my husband helps out. He does the dishes, gets up with our 14 month old. Changes her diapers and he takes our 7 year old to school (sometimes with the 14 month old because I have things to catch up on like calling immigration) and helps with the other house work. But I feel like most of the decision making is up to me. We're looking at getting new cellphones now and I'm the one who's looking over the plans and talking with people (which makes some sense I'll admit since I've had different plans and I'll remember before DH does that we have to have something that will allow us to at least text my family back in the US) but I feel like he just stands there and lets me decide everything. He even did that this morning when his mom called about us coming up to her place for Victoria Day weekend this weekend (ie tomorrow morning)

Gabrielle - posted on 05/17/2012

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I agree with that. I take care of the kids all day and night. my daughter is 1 and she started waking up at night again. The hardest thing for me is taking care of the kids AND getting everything done around the house. My husband and I get into arguements and they always end with him saying that I dont do enough around the house. It's not easy when you have 2 kids to take care of and 1 who will be 3 in july who wont potty train. It's hard and it sucks cuz I don't feel like I can do ANYTHING that will make my husband happy enough.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/16/2012

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Seeing the never ending piles of laundry. Always being the one planning the meals, packing lunch, doing the grocery shopping, putting away the laundry (except for my husband's, he's a big boy he can take care of his own shit) and packing suitcases when we go to my MIL's or to visit our friend in the next province.

I have certifications as a care aide and a phlebotomist. I used to do hospice care most days, work about 50hrs a week and be in more control of my life. I had great work stories including having a box of meatballs thrown at my head and having a woman chase me out of her room with her walker. When I told my husband that a month after I moved to BC from NY that I missed having more control and I wanted to feel like I contributed I was suddenly in charge of everything except programming our two computers and picking out my husband's clothes. Sometimes I feel like I'm being taken advantage of simply because I'm a SAHM.

Stifler's - posted on 05/16/2012

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That's hard for me too always being around the kids. I need time at home to unwind I wish my husband would pack the kids up and go out for a few hours but he never does. By the time they are in bed I am really tired and feel like doing nothing or just watching tv.

Grace - posted on 05/16/2012

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The hardest part is having my child with me EVERYWHERE I GO! I'm a Person who needs alone time to re-energize and my daughter is a people person. So she just wants to do everything with me. My alone time is basically when I'm in bed for the night or borrowing sleep time to get an uninterrupted movie in. Which only makes me tired for tomorrow. I hardly have time to sit and think to at least evaluate the day.

Oh, and the never ending to do list that reloads every morning.

Alicia - posted on 05/15/2012

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Trying to balance the time or find the time to fit everything into my schedule.
Cleaning, cooking, working, playtime, etc.

Kristina Alaniz-Rodriguez - posted on 05/15/2012

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I totally love that I can be a sahm now ... I used to work , but with this third child I've been blessed that I can be here for her 24/7... With summer coming though I need to work my older two into our daily schedule do they don't get too bored:)

Taylor - posted on 05/13/2012

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I miss working SO much! I used to hold two/three jobs at a time and having all this "down time" is driving me bananas! Granted, my son is only 3 1/2 months. I may change my tune once he starts running around!! lol

Miriam - posted on 05/13/2012

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I always join mums groups at church etc. I try to get out about three times a week. (I have two boys 4months &20 months).
For me, worst part is not getting sleep at nights. Also the tantrums are hard to deal with when I'm sleep derived.

Mandy - posted on 05/12/2012

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Thinking of things to do! We aren't around any family and it's just me and my 7 month old. Daddy works long days. Anybody have some good ideas?

Tanya - posted on 05/10/2012

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we wake at 7--eat my daughter goes to preschool 3 days a week so that helps and gives me one on one time with my lil man. my son naps 10-12 then 2-3 and my daughter naps 1-3 so our schedules are a little bit crazy...we do playdates in a local group and i adjust one of my son's naps dinner at 530 bath and bed--DO OVER lol

Tanya - posted on 05/10/2012

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yea those tantrums!! my lil boy doesnt have them so much yet but my daughter defineately in her terrible twos

Liz - posted on 05/09/2012

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The emotional drainage of being a SAHM. Love it, but it's definitely tiring!
@ Amy - my kids wake up around 8:30 - 9:00. (I have 4, ages 5, 3, 2 and 10 months). We get dressed, eat breakfast and then they play while I do laundry, dishes, shower, etc. My 10 month old takes a 2 hour nap 2 hours after getting up. She gets up at 12:30, and my boys eat lunch then. After lunch my boys take a nap from 1:00 - 4:00. The older 2 don't really sleep, but they have to stay in their rooms and they watch a movie. My baby goes back down for a nap at 2 and gets up at 4:30. The boys get up and we have dinner, then they play some more while I clean up from dinner. At 7:30, we have baths, (3 nights a week) and bedtime is at 8. My daughter has a bottle at 8:30 and then she also goes to bed.

Stifler's - posted on 05/09/2012

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Not having made any money but having 2 extra people to spend one income on. Thinking of things to do.

Amy - posted on 05/09/2012

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what is most peoples daily routine?? eg kids waking up, what time do you wake up? what do we do all day , i dont know why i feel bad not going out everyday should i??

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