What's it like to have a second baby?

Sheri - posted on 03/01/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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You know how before you had your first baby you couldn't possibly have imagined all the love you feel now for that child? My first is nearly 5 years old now and we adore him so much... it's honestly kinda hard to imagine loving another one as much! Intellectually, I believe it will happen - same as with the first. But it's difficult to grasp... perhaps because we haven't really "met" yet.



Is this a common feeling/concern?

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Chrissy - posted on 03/05/2009

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I can totally relate! I have a 6 year old and we have a very special bond...some of that comes from the fact that I was a single mom for a few years and it was just him and I for awhile! I was very teary the week before my 8 month old was born because I felt guilty that I wouldn't love the new baby like I do Sam AND I didn't want Sam to feel any less love once the new baby came.



I can honestly tell you that my feelings for Sam have not changed at all. He's still my little sunshine and we still have the strong bond that we always have. AND...my new little peanut is my heart....I love him to pieces! I do make sure that I take every opportunity to have one on one time with Sam though...my husband will hang with the baby on Sunday afternoons for awhile so that Sam and I can go on a 'date'.

Heather - posted on 03/04/2009

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Oh it happens! I have 3 & love each one just as much as the first! There will actually be days where you will like one less b/c of how he/she is acting & how high your frustration is, but you will love this one so much! You will cherish each moment even more (hopefully) b/c you realize how quickly they grow!

Amy - posted on 03/04/2009

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My son was an only child for 8 years before our second was born and I felt very much the same way. I have so much love for my 8 year old, we are so close, that I couldn't imagine loving any child as much as him but now I have three kids and I have so much love for all of them. I think each one is special in their own way and I have a really special bond with my oldest but it's amazing how you just end up having enough love to go around. I'm sure you will too. =)

[deleted account]

I think it is normal to wonder if there is enough love to go around.  There is.  I have a singleton son and twin boys and there is lots of love. 



What you have to remember though is that your attention will not soley be focused on one child any longer.  It will have to be divided and sometimes one kid gets less attention for part of a day than another.  And that can cause guilt and wondering if you are being the best loving mom you can.  All of us go through that at some point, and again and again.  Part of being a mom I think.



Enjoy your new baby!

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for me i didnt have the concern of not loving the next one just as much as the first my concern was that i would compare the next ones with the first and afraid that they wouldnt measure up to him cause i had 3 yrs with him alone before our second but now that i have 4 ages 6, 3,2,1 i dont even know why i thought that cause all my kids are completely different in ways but all are thriving and i feel great knowing i raised them this way! i think it has to do with all the hormones of pregnancy that make you think things you wouldnt normally even consider!! good luck i am sure you'll just a wonderful job loving this one just like your first and just think you and your first will have a new kind of relationship once the new one arrives cause now he can help you with the new baby and feel more grown up and loved in that way!!

Traci - posted on 03/02/2009

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I felt that exact way when I became pregnant with our second daughter and truthfully it was so much easier then the first time around for me. I felt confident that I could handle a newborn and everything just fell into place. Once you get a routine down everything is back to normal. The love you feel with grow with your new baby. :)

Jessica - posted on 03/01/2009

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Quoting Jessica:



Right before I had my second boy I went through a real emotional time.  I cried alot and felt "extremely" guilty for having another baby.  I thought "how could I love another baby as much as him" and "I don't want him to feel left out or we dont love him as much".  The moment he was born my heart grew twice the size.  They each have their own ways and love them equal.  I think most moms feel the exact same way!!!





 

Jessica - posted on 03/01/2009

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Right before I had my second boy I went through a real emotional time.  I cried alot and felt "extremely" guilty for having another baby.  I thought "how could I love another baby as much as him" and "I don't want him to feel left out or we dont love him as much".  The moment he was born my heart grew twice the size.  They each have their own ways and love them equal.  I think most moms feel the exact same way!!!

Andrea - posted on 03/01/2009

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I felt the same way. I have a 3 1/2 year old son & a daughter that was born on Christmas Eve. But, you don't split your love- it multiplies to include that next baby!

[deleted account]

In all honesty I think baby #1 will always be a little different.. I am feeling the same way you are and I hope when its time for baby #2 i'll be able to love it as much as I love my daughter. 

Blanca - posted on 03/01/2009

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I felt the same way! I now have 4 boys! They all have different personalities and love them all equally. After you have baby #2, you will wonder have you could have ever felt that way. Relax and enjoy your pregnancy. :)

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