what's the best age difference?

Sarah - posted on 07/27/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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Do any of you have two children that are more than two years apart and still are really good friends? I have an eighteen month old and we can't start trying for another one till January. I am scared that they will be too far apart to relate and be friends. Am I worried for nothing?

18 Comments

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Farrah - posted on 08/08/2009

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I have a 12 year old and a 8 year old and they get along pretty well not to say that they do not fight every once in a while but that is normal.

Liz - posted on 08/01/2009

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I have my three kids, oldest 4, second 3, youngest 2. Thinking back I would have prefered them spread further apart, at least 2 years. But all of them were unplanned and I wouldn't give them back for anything, even with the fighting, etc. I have found as they are getting older they are starting to play more together and sharing their toys.

Denise - posted on 07/31/2009

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In my Mother's era, it was normal to have babies close together and when you were young. My mother was pregnant with my sister six months after she had given birth and the same with me so we looked like 'steps' when we were lined up. I had my children three years apart, got them out of nappies and walking so that I only had one baby to look after instead of 2, I think it is better and I am an older mum.

Melissa - posted on 07/30/2009

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I Have 3 children, the age different is 2.5 years and 3.5 year from the oldest. I thought having them 3 years apart was to much. The ages of them are 4,2,and 1. I fine the closer they are now the closer they will be when they grow up.

Coralyn - posted on 07/30/2009

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i dont plan on having my second child til my first is around 3 years. i dont think that will be a big diffeerence at all :)

Jennifer - posted on 07/30/2009

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my two older boys are 13 and 8 and are usually connected at the hip. the younger one wanting to do all the new exciting teenage stuff and the older enjoying teaching his little brother new things, but in the same time my 8 and 5 year old play together beautifly as well. dont worry!

Trisha - posted on 07/29/2009

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My children ar 2 1/2 years apart and sure they fight like brothers and sisters do, but they are still really good friends in the end. The older one still looks after his sister and takes care of her and they are now 7 and 5.

Sara - posted on 07/29/2009

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You have nothing to worry about, I have a 16 year old daughter,a 14 year old son and a 3 year old son, who all love each other, get along,and help each other. When you do have another child, just make sure you let your child help with anything that they can handle, and that will help start a bond as a big brother/sister . !

Sarah - posted on 07/28/2009

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My step daughter is 17 and my daughter will be one in October. Huge age gap yet the only problem we have if you can believe it is jealousy. My step daughter is jealous of her baby sister consuming a lot of our time. Yet she has gotten over it. Everyone that I know with kids that are over four years apart are happy because they got to spend that alone time with the first one and the first one is old enough to fetch things for the baby when needed and play with the baby and you don't have to worry about hitting and if they do then you can explain why that's not exceptable and they are old enough to understand

Sarah - posted on 07/28/2009

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Thank you guys for the ideas. It's helpful to hear circumstances when it has worked out. I won't worry so much about the space anymore.

Gina - posted on 07/28/2009

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My kids are 5 yrs. and 5 days apart. My oldest is 7 and she loves her 2 yr. old little brother. He loves his sissy. They get along and play great.

Kelly - posted on 07/28/2009

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My first two were both boys, 26 months apart. They have always shared a room, toys, etc. and even friends, and are great buddies still, in high school. They even opt to eat lunch in the same room, for example, and they don't have to. Then we have a gap of eight years, and we have two girls who are four years apart exactly (birthdays are 12 days apart). I would have liked them to be a little closer in age, but they actually get along great also. They don't share a room, but they will often "spend the night" with each other, and they play together all the time. They also play with each others friends, but I know that may not last forever; they are 3 and 7 now. I would like to add, that I think it is great for each kid to have someone to grow up with, and I have been so blessed for that to be the case, but the surpising part is how wonderful much older siblings can be. Our boys love their little sisters so much more that I would have really imagined; they help with them so much and never ever get impatient with the littlest (very rarely even with the 7 year old). I just feel sad that once they are both gone to college, it will change life for our girls so much. But there is a lot to be said for a big gap in age too. I just never would have realized it until I experienced it.

Stacey - posted on 07/28/2009

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My kids are 13 and 7. I find they are getting closer as they are older and it was nice to have one settled in school when the other came. i was not able to plan things closer either. I would not worry. Enjoy!

User - posted on 07/28/2009

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My siblings are 3(brother) and 7(sister) years younger than I am, and there were some rougher patches growing up -- but now they are 2 of my best friends.

My daughter will be 16 months old when her little sibling is born in January - so I don't know if there is a "right" age difference for siblings to be.

Good luck!

Elese - posted on 07/28/2009

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My children were born 4 1/2 years apart. I love this age difference because my daughter remembers taking care of her brother ever since he was a baby. She also helped me out so much when he was a baby...she enjoyed it. Now they are 5 and almost 10. They fight once in a while, but if anybody yells at his sister, he gets on their case, and she always makes sure that he is safe. I think they will be good friends even as teenagers. They really do love each other!

Melissa - posted on 07/27/2009

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my children right now are almost 4 yrs apart but they are still very young. however my son is a great big brother i cant really say if they are great friends yet shes only a little over a year. however my sisters and i are 5 yrs apart and we are great friends. love her to death. my brother is 2 yrs younger than me and we confide in each other for everything so i woudl say thats a great trustworthy friend.

Angela - posted on 07/27/2009

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My brother and I are 8 years apart. We were actually due on the exact same day, exactly 8 years apart. I ended up being late, and he was early, but still. :) We are best friends! He's 19, and I am 27 and yeah, there were some rough times, but there ewre some amazing times too. I'm always telling him little things I remember about him being a baby. I'm really happy having a brother much younger than I am, so I had no hesitations about having my own children several years apart. My oldest will be 7 Aug 21st, and my youngest was born on April 8th this year. They already love each other. I know I'm in for it as they both get older, but as of now and in the seemingly distant future, they are wonderful. Plus my oldest actually helps me out in little ways, so thats really nice!

[deleted account]

My two oldest are 3 years and one month apart. They are really good friends even though the oldest is a girl and the other is a boy. They have typical sibling issues but are best friends. Don't worry - I think it has more to do with personality types than age difference!

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