What's worste? Being labled a bad friend or a bad sister...

Danielle - posted on 05/24/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My brother has been dating this girl for yrs. Her daughter calls him Daddy and they have recently moved in together. She's like a sister to me. When they have issues they come to me for advice. I've known she hasn't been happy since they moved in together since last mnth. She's very high matinence and it's taking everything they have to survive. It's causing alot of problems between them. Last weekend she went out with "friends" and did not tell him where she was going and did not come home till 6 that next morning. He still has no idea where she was. I know she's wanting out of the relationship. She's all but told me that the only reason she's there is b/c she has no where to go. I told her that was no reason to stay and she should leave. Today I see crap plastered all over FB that leads me to believe she's wanting to be with someone else. I think I know who it is just by the comments going on between them. I know my brother has seen it if I have. I don't have proof but I'm so lost as to what to do. Should I tell him what I've seen and run the risk of me being wrong or her being able to come up with something to make him believe that I'm wrong and her get angry at me and him cut off contact with me or not say anything at all and if he gets his heart broken, he gets upset at me for not telling him. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't it seems. I really need some advice.

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Danielle - posted on 05/25/2011

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Thanx that really does help. That's what my gut is telling me but I was second guessing myself b/c my husband thinks I should tell him. If I had abslolute proof I would do it in a heart beat but like I tried to explain to him she's not stupid and is covering her tracks. Even this morning the comments are gone. So I'm gonna follow my gut and the advice I have gotten on here and stay out of it. Thannx =)

Katherine - posted on 05/24/2011

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I absolutely agree with Kimberly. Try and stay out of it. I'm sure your brother knows as you said. Just be there for him. If you say anything it could really backfire on you. It's hard to be in the middle like that.

Kimberly - posted on 05/24/2011

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They've put you in a tough spot which isnt fair. I can only say what I would do is back my brother because at the end of the day he is your family and if they do break up he's the one you'll be seeing after all of its over. For the most part try to stay out of it, being the third party you will always come off second best, if your brother asks you about stuff tell him the truth but remember that is mostly going to hurt him so be gently. Its a hard place your in so just think carefully about what you say because emotions are running high, hope that helps a little.

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