what should I do?

Tanya - posted on 09/08/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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my 5 year old son has been getting in trouble at school. He and myself are in counciling. I have had him in counciling for a long time now and I am very strict at home. He has certain days where he just goes off. I have taken away his favorite toys and punished him from outside and other privilages have been taken away. Sometimes that works but other times it's like he dont care. He has days where he is very vindictive. I dont think counciling is doing the trick and I have alot of experience dealing with this but its got me stressed. I dont get it. I have talks with him and it's not helping either. We think there is a mood swing issue it does run in the family but until they diagnose him exactly what are some other suggestions please!!!!! Im not sure what else I can do to get his attention. I dont believe in spanking and that seems to be all everyone else tells me to do. I cant do that . If anyone has any suggestions help and if you think you may know whats causing this tell me that too.

9 Comments

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Jme - posted on 09/14/2009

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You may have stated the problem yourself. " I am very strict at home." Maybe he simply wants to be heard. I am sorry you are having problems with your son. Just remember he is a child and cannot be expected to act like an adult. Let him know there is a more productive way to be heard though. Good Luck to you!

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therapy over rated!! be a mom and lay down the law, nothing wrong w spanking.. remember you're the boss not him.. and you dont have to reason w him.. hes a child not an adult.. positive reinforcement works as long as ur not kissing his behind!

Tessa - posted on 09/14/2009

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I taught Pre-K for 4 years with a school district before I took this year off to stay home with my new baby. We used two different programs for dealing with behavior issues in the classroom. The programs both offer materials for parents to use with their children at home and have been proven very successful in the classroom. The programs are Love and Logic (www.loveandlogic.com) and Conscious Discipline (www.consciousdiscipline.com) Love and Logic focuses on developing natural consequences for misbehavior while Conscious Discipline focuses on using everyday connections to build a better relationship between the child and caregiver (strong relationship=more compliance). While I have been better trained in Conscious Discipline, I would be more than happy to help you get started with using the strategies in your home (or at least point you in the right direction!) Please feel free to email me at tessa.armes@hotmail.com if you would like some additional support.

I wish you all the best.

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maybe he feels as a kid he is always getting yelled at. (not saying that you are doing anything wrong) My daughter was going through a phase like that and I finally decided I think I was giving her a complex so everytime she did something good I made a huge deal out of it and rewarded her with stickers, candy, it seemed to help. It also made me feel like I wasn't always yelling at her.

Lorraine - posted on 09/08/2009

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well unless he is diagnosed with something i would assume that something happened. maybe something got him upset, maybe someone said something to him that he didn't like. if he is to angry to talk then possibly enroll him into a sport or activity to that he can take out his aggression. karate would be great! it would include exercise, and even some yelling to get everything out. you know he could just be restless at home. well let me know how it goes! good luch to you and your family.

April - posted on 09/08/2009

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Has he been checked for food allergies? sugar/food dyes/ect..I know a child that has wheat/dairy/corn allergies that once the allergies were treated he was completely mellow. Also, he is at a big transition and growing time in his life. Did he just start school? I'm sorry you are having to deal with this all I can do is offer our prayers and an e-hug to you:) I would find a place that is a comfort to him and sit with him and read to him or sing until he calms down..

Shannon - posted on 09/08/2009

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you could try a special reward at the end of the week. sit him down ask what are some things he would like to do or get as rewards and explain to him at the end of the week if there are no fits the reward him

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