what should I do?

Meagan - posted on 12/03/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




my son just turned 9 months old, he was a great baby he never really cried always happy...but for the last week he just wont play on his own. you need to be holding him or sitting and playing with him. witch i do most of the time. but i stay home so there also house work that i need to keep up on. but i can't stand to hear him cry..i know he fine, meaning he's fed and everything. some other people in my life tell me i should let him cry for a few days so he knows he can't be held 24/7 and he should learn to play on his own, but i feel like im letting him down. has anyone else went through this with their child


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Renae - posted on 12/04/2009




This definately sounds like separation anxiety, especially since you say it started recently.

Separation anxiety in boys peaks around 8-9 months (girls is 6-7 months). This is a normal and important developmental stage and like all developmental stages it will pass. Absolutely do not leave him to cry when he wants you during this stage, you will just prolong it and make it worse. Separation anxiety occurs when the baby begins to understand that he and his mother are separate people and can separate (i.e. you can put him down and go away) this is a scary realisation for babies. In a month or so he will figure out that you are not far and will always come back and that you are still around even if you're not right near him. Best thing to do is put up with it until it passes.

You can try encouraging independant play. Get him playing with some toys while you sit right next to him doing something else, fold laundry or something. Then gradually over about a week move a bit further away from him until you can leave the room and leave him to play for a while. It might not work until the peak of his separation anxiety is over but it will be a good thing for him to learn anyway. Once he can play independantly you will be able to leave him alone to play for half an hour while you do something else.

Babies also become clingy when they are sick or in pain. So check for teeth or anything else that might be wrong. Check his temperature etc.

Seija - posted on 12/03/2009




My son was like that and my daughter still is to some extent (she is 2 1/2). I found that giving them a bit of time (say 10 minutes) then do some of your house work (finish the job off, like sweeping the floor or clean the bathrooms) then go back to playing with them for a bit worked. They figured out that I was always coming back and cheered up. When they got a bit bigger I bought the mini broom etc and they help me now.

Denise - posted on 12/03/2009




take him from room to room with you and give him some toys or pots and pans to play with the louder the better they love it.

Marisa - posted on 12/03/2009




i did my son is 2 now and still very much attached to my hip not like i dont put him down but hes shy and wants to be with me all the time even when my husband is home i go out to smoke and he crys till i come back i just felt bad when hes was a baby i figured if he was crying its for a reason and if its he wants his mommy so be it

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