What should I do about living with my parents?

Ashley - posted on 03/20/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'm a 24 year old stay at home mom....I don't know if I should be calling myself that since my fiance works, my mom is home for now since she had surgery on her knee and I've been letting her take care of him. I've been trying to sort myself out with how I can become independent again ever since I came back home 5 years ago from NC while I was away at college. The experience I had when I was living on my own was refreshing and so new that I have no idea why I left that to come back home and be completely lazy again. My fiance said he'll be able to work nights while I work during the day, But my problem is that I need to learn how to become independent again and be responsible instead of my mother doing the job I'm supposed to be doing. Any advice?

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Being a stay at home mom requires a lot more self discipline than most people think. We don't have bosses or time clocks or deadlines to keep us in line, so we have to create them for ourselves.
Each day, I make a list of everything I hope to accomplish that day. As I complete the tasks, I mark them off. It keeps me both organized and motivated.
I also keep a long term list on my phone. This is a list of bigger projects that I want to do--things that cannot be done in one day, or without extra time set aside, like planting a garden, or establishing a new program at the shelters where I volunteer. As I complete them, I delete them from the list.
Some of these bigger projects require smaller To-Do lists of their own. For example, if you want to get a job outside the home, you would need a list of steps to that end. 1. Write a resume. 2. Collect addresses and contacts for as many businesses as possible. 3. Mail out resume. 4. Go to job sites and scout listings for jobs specific to your career choice. 5. Write cover letters for specific jobs. 6. Submit cover letters and resumes online. and so on.

If you are going to stay at home, you could also ask your mom to teach you. When I first became a sahm, I was totally lost--I just shut down and did nothing because I had no idea how to do anything. I ended up hiring our housekeeper that we employed when I worked to come back and teach me how she did what she did. It was a huge learning experience, and I am now much more proficient in my work at home. Ask your mother to include you in her tasks throughout the day--do them with her.

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Ashley - posted on 03/21/2013

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Reading this is really helpful. I usually ask her to tell me some of the things she did with me but she just ends up saying no out of frustration and says she doesn't remember or just saying I don't know. But I do know of a person I can ask to teach me, My fiance's mother doesn't seem to have a problem when I ask her.

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