what to do?

Lacey - posted on 01/21/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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ok well my next door neighbor is going through a rough time in her life she lost her 8 month old daughter this past week and i have no idea what to do are say..i want to do something to help..but i just don't know what..and to make things worse i don't know if i should interduce myself..i am scared to b/c i think it might upset her..see her daughter's name is lacey as is mine..and i don't want to go to her and seeing if she needs anything and telling her my name b/c i feel as though it will make her think of her daughter.and i don't want to upset them anymore then they already are.i would like to know if anyone has any advice to give as to what i should do..its terrible that she lost her daughter..i feel that i should do something for her and her family..this is so hard just the littlest advice would be great thanks and please pray for her and her family..they have no money and donations are being taken to raise money to bury her..i will be giving money but i want to do more..but again please pray for her and her family her name is mrs.lucy..thanks

9 Comments

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Samantha - posted on 01/21/2010

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hello lacey,

I have lost a son and the best thing I think for me was all the incouragement from all incoragment from my family and my friends. one thing I hated was simpathy, it hurt more just to bring up that he was gone. it has been almost 2 years since i have lost him and I am better now, but I belive you sould go over and introduce yourself and just ask her if she wants a friend. maybe take her a gift basket or something.

Lacey - posted on 01/21/2010

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i am so sorry for your lose..it look at it like this weather it be a few weeks are a few years when you lose a child you lose apart of yourself..its never easy to lose a child even if the person was only a few weeks along are the baby was a few weeks old its tough and i could never imagine that feeling..but thanks

Lacey - posted on 01/21/2010

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i am really not good in situations like this that is why i was asking for advice..i thought of going over and lending a hand and instead of giving my first name using my middle name..i am scared that she will break down and start crying and all if i tell her my first name and i am most def..not good in those situation..i never know what to say or do..i am donating some money tomorrow and i may go over and just let her know their are ppl that care and that if she needs anything at all that i am there to help no matter what it may be..weather it be babysitting are cleaning..and thanks everyone for praying..its very much appreciated..thanks again

Lacey - posted on 01/21/2010

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it helps alot..thanks..i worry about my son til this day about my son dieing..i couldn't imagine losing him..he is almost two now..but after he was born i was getting up every hour to check on him..i am just at a lose at the moment b/c i never thought in a million years something like that would ever happen around me..

Stevie - posted on 01/21/2010

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wow that is soooo sad give her my condolenses that is just wow id say you could help them by taking some other little (but very meaningful) burdens off of their sholders by making them some meals and maybe lending any other helping hands with a few other things they need or even just a sholder to cry on someone to talk to i had a miscarried 6 days before my sons 1st birthday (not really the same as losing an already alive child) but i know i would have just loved some company someone to show they care and to maybe help with some cooking just even one meal would have been nice so just go over there even though you do have a daughter i dont believe anything will make her really cheer up persay so i dont think going over and introducing yourself will hurt her anymore i bet she will enjoy having someone else around to help you know good luck i wish i could help and give something but give her my heart and condolences i will be praying for her and her family and you as well good luck

Jennifer - posted on 01/21/2010

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OMGoodness! What happened?! I think the best thing you can do is to be there for her and support her. Let her know that you are there for anything she may need, she needs comfort right now.. & Anything at this point is going to upset her and make her think of her lil one... It's a tough situation i'm sure! Good luck!

Stacie - posted on 01/21/2010

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i think it's great that your heart is so big. offer your condolences and any help they may need at this time....i think that's the best you can do for someone you don't really know. maybe it's a sign that you and her daughter have the same name....i'm not religious but maybe you were sent to her for a reason. sorry i can't be a big help to you at a time like this.

Tasha - posted on 01/21/2010

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Wow, that is sooo SAD. :(



I am praying for her family!!!! :( :( :( How long have you lived next door to her?? I think that I would personally make a dinner and bring it over to them. If you were going to introduce yourself, I would probably use my last name. My heart is breaking for this family. **PRAYERS**

[deleted account]

Wow, that's a tough one!!! Perhaps what you could do is just make the family a couple meals and bring them over to them. Don't voluntarily give your name, if she asks for it, obviously you'll have to answer, but if their baby only died this past week, they may not even think to ask for your name! My son is nine months old right now and I know for a fact that if he died tonight and a neighbour (whose name I didn't know) brought me a meal I probably wouldn't think to ask who they are if they didn't offer the information off the hop.

Or maybe have someone else drop it off for you...that might seem kinda weird, but in their state of mind they, again, probably wouldn't think twice about it!

That's all I can think of...maybe someone else will have a better idea!

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