what to do...

Amber - posted on 11/02/2015 ( 23 moms have responded )

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Ok so when I was pregnant my mother in law and sister in law called me fat all the time saying I look huge and that I'll have a preemie. (back story: her other son is married to a woman who is 350 pounds who had a preemie, she had a complicted pregnancy, side note my husband's family are full of very big women his mom sister etc) ok im only 110 pounds I went up to 140 pounds i know im,not fat...I'm pregan t right? She told me im going to have a preemie like her other daughter in law and all this, as a first time mom I don't wanna hear something like that so I'm like ok... She also told me her first grandson who is 4 comes before my child which is granson #2 for her which is another thing I don't wanna hear. She also acts like she's my mom I have to keep reminding her I have my own mom that I see daily she comes with me to appointments etc by telling me I need to,do this and that I'm like I know my own mom already told me. She spoils her other son and daughter in law always buying them,things when she goes to Wal-Mart on Fridays from diapers and formula to makeup and essentials for them. While my husband and I get used thrift store and yard sale items... I don't understand why she does this? I'm nice to her and her family never disrespected them, unlike the other daughter in law who will cuss them out and throw fits if she doesn't get it her way. I'm baffled. Also my mother in law threw a fit I didn't let her in the delivery room when I was giving birth, I made it clear to everyone I just want my mom and husband in there and everyone was fine with that but her and her daughter.. Also my son was born 3 weeks early she jinxed us so to say and he was jaundice.. When we went home the Dr told me no visitors for 2 to 3 weeks because his immune system is weak I explained that to his family they got mad again, I explained to my family they understood and wanted best for baby. So here we are today baby is 6 weeks mother in law won't talk to me but she tells my husband how much she wants to see the baby but I just feel uncomfortable with them coming over for the way she acts towards me.... What to do what to do... Oh the stories I could tell u guys about my in laws it's like a reality show

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Whitney - posted on 11/06/2015

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Honestly, in my opinion she is jealous of your petite frame...since her family is big and her other daughter in law is big, it seems that she's letting her envy shine thru...and a little too much, if u ask me! She sounds extremely immature and it's totally unfair. I've had past boyfriends mothers treat me the same way...and I would do everything in my power to be the best daughter in law I could, yet nothing would stop the harsh comments, the dirty looks and the out right favouritism for the other daughter in law.
It's sad to say but some ppl find pleasure in other ppls dispare. She obviously lacks self esteem (especially around u) therefore she must belittle u and try to get a rise outta u. Don't take the bait! If there's one thing I've learned it's to kill them with kindness lol she wants a negative reaction...don't give her one.
Ud think she'd tell u how absolutely gorgeous u are inside and out, for bringing another grandbaby into this world...not breaking ur spirits. This should be the most amazing chapter in ur life Hun!!! Do not let her nasty attitude ruin it for u!
Good luck :)

Marquita_brown1989 - posted on 11/04/2015

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Maybe your husband should step up and tell his mom to respect you because you are his wife. Has he tried that? It's sad but I wouldn't want my baby around her if she isn't showing me any respect. Maybe she's afraid of her other daughter in law, you think? They might be jealous of you.

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Amber - posted on 11/15/2015

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Yeah I try, sometimes it just gets hard. I just hate that they treat my husband like shit, that's their son! He needed his dad's assistance with buying a new tire for his car when he didn't have a job but his dad said no, also I'm taking you off my health insurance and auto insurance, my husband asked why and he told him your brother and his wife want new phones so I'm going to get it for them. ... I'm like how's that more important all my husband asked was for help with a $30 used tire -____- his family sucks but doesn't realize it. His mother keeps telling me I need to bring the baby to their house, I still keep saying no... she doesn't understand and that frustrates me

Vanessa - posted on 11/15/2015

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Stand up for yourself! Sounds like you have a wonderful mom and extended family. You should do what you think is best for you and your child. It can be difficult at times especially if your husband sides with them but as long as you do what feels right for you and your child you can't go wrong. If she choose to spoil the ungrateful then that's on her. If you continue to treat her with respect and not allow the spoiling get to you it could really open her eyes. Sometimes it just takes a little time

Amber - posted on 11/15/2015

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Update... the in law with the 4 year old... is now having her friends stalk me on all of my social media..

Rudy - posted on 11/08/2015

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this seems to resemble my life just a tad! it sounds like his family is just horrible & if you've never given them a reason to dislike you then that's THEIR the problem. I say for your sanity just cut them off. Unfortunately its not as easy as it sounds due to the drama that'll accompany the cut off. Keeping them around is not healthy for you, or your baby (you dont want your baby to be affected by this either) Also, have a serious talk with your husband and get to the point that way he wont misinterpret anything. Best of luck with this situation!

Cheyanna - posted on 11/07/2015

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You could for sure turn your mother in law into a reality show....your boobs are supposed to that when your breastfeeding lmao....mine went from b to d and after i stopped breastfeeding, back to a c. It seems to me like you need to cut anyone who's negative out of your life even if it is extended family members...you and your child don't need the extra drama. Maybe after you cut her out she'll realize how bad of a grandma and whatever that she was. I am so glad my mom or my exes mom wasn't like this!! I woulda been like fine with me get out of our lives!!

Amber - posted on 11/06/2015

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I think she's finally figuring out what jealousy is; she dropped out of school at 13 to be with her husband who was 27 at the time, she never got to be in high school where all the drama is and now she's taking it out on me and her daughter is an instigator she likes to start drama she'll tell her mom and sister in law I said something mean about them and she does the same to me and I'm like hello, little girl can you not? I think his family feeds off bringing other people down. When my husband and I got married (courthouse wedding) my parents got us a cute small wedding cake that we had at my parents house my mom was nice enough to invite his parents over for some cake. Only to have his mom post the pictures on her Facebook and her cousins, nieces and nephews etc.. to ask her why they didn't get invited to HER house for cake. She told her family she was the one who did all that for us. I'm like no MY PARENTS are the ones who gave us a cake it was their house not your disgusting roach and rat infested house. His mom loves to lie and make up stories, I told my husband I never met a mom who didn't like me and that this was weird. Oh don't even get started on the other daughter in law she's a whole other story.... I should start filming my life lol

Amber - posted on 11/06/2015

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Exactly I'm like he's not obese he's healthy... update called me fat again because my boobs went from a small B to now double D...when will this nightmare end? Do I have to truly cut out his entire family?

Cheyanna - posted on 11/06/2015

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I breastfed my son and he gained weight like crazy!! That's what a HEALTHY baby is supposed to do...omg people wonder why man...

Amber - posted on 11/05/2015

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Exactly! Update my mother in law called me a bad mom because I breastfeed my son and he's gain 6 pounds in 6 weeks. She called him obese and not as cute as her other grandson, I honestly think my baby is way more cute her o th er grandson looked like an alien because he was so skinny and still is at age 4 she should be calling her other daughter in law the bad mom. Anyways just so much drama, we gave her an ultrasound at 20 weeks and she put it behind a picture of her other grandson now my husband wants me to give her one of my sons newborn pictures we got done at the hospital I said no because she'll just put it away and never display it, like when we gave her our wedding picture's she just said oh and put them in her desk drawer while her other sons wedding and Xmas pictures are all over the walls... your right he is the golden child I don't see why he doesn't have a job smokes weed and teaches his son how to cuss because it's cute while my husband has a nice government job doesn't smoke or drink or anything. I don't understand his mother. She praises her daughter in law for being a hairstylist at walmart but I get no praise for being a probation officer at age 25.. favorites favorites favorites. I told you it's like a reality show.

Cheyanna - posted on 11/04/2015

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It seems to me like someone has a golden child...forget her! She doesn't deserve the relationship with your baby boy that she could have built if she didn't act favoring towards the other son..no baby is more important than the other..I was 105 when I got pregnant and ended up at almost 150 pounds...You were not fat!! Congrats btw!!

Amber - posted on 11/04/2015

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Yup no one understands my concerns but my mother. My husband said he's just use to the bugs and mice. I told him that's not normal to be use too.

Laura - posted on 11/04/2015

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o.0 oh my gods....please keep that baby away from that house! What a disgusting thing to teach a child!! And I can see in winter time mice getting in the house but if it's a constant thing...no. No, no NO

Amber - posted on 11/04/2015

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Yup she always tells my husband how proud of her cats because they catch the mice in her house I'm like ew!!! That's not sanitary at all I don't want my baby there, but the 4 year old loves to pick up bugs and roaches because my mother in law taught him that and I don't want my son learning that.

Laura - posted on 11/04/2015

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Wow Yea all those pets, plus the roaches....*shudders* I wouldn't let my children near there either, especially if they don't care for the animals properly.

Amber - posted on 11/04/2015

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He's a sissy too much of a mama's boy so I take matters into my own hands. He would never say anything to his mom but I'm not afraid to, it's just so much drama my baby doesn't need it. Also I feel his parents house if very filthy which is another reason I don't wanna take him over there his parents house has 4 cats that are not fixed they pee on everything and two small dogs that aren't fixed either. I don't want my son coming home smelling like wet dog and cat pee. I also made that clear to my husband. I hope something changes soon.

Amber - posted on 11/04/2015

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I have a whole file of screenshots I even showed his mom and she told me that they looked fake and photoshopped. I can't win lol but I never said anything mean or anything in that matter to them at all. I even told my husband that my son will only have one grandma one grandpa and one uncle. I don't want his family near my baby I don't want him feeling like I do i don't want him to watch his cousin open birthday gifts and it's new toys from my mother in law while he opens presents and it's a old used broken toy. It's not fair and today my husband went over to his parents house because she made a halloween basket for my son when I was taking the candy out there was a live and dead cockroach in it!!! What the hell is this woman's problem? Also she likes to practice witchcraft but the Mexican kind so that scares me even more.

Laura - posted on 11/04/2015

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It's more about them being insecure with themselves and knowing that they can use your husband's blindness against you. They're just like my mother was and still is at times. Miserable! Any time they can make you the same it cheers them up knowing they achieved turning your life into something as miserable as they are. There's not many ways to fix it other than when they do things like that smile at them and let them know they're not going to break you, prove to your husband they're doing it(screenshots, videos, etc), or just walk away from it all.

Amber - posted on 11/03/2015

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It's been a hard 4 years mostly because of his sister in law and his sister I know this probably has nothing to do with it but theure both pretty big girls 350 pounds and 200 pounds and they always call me ugly or skinny,bitch because im,tall,and really thin they make fun of me and call me aneroxic that's not something to be seen as funny becaus that's a serious issue, and his mom will talk shit about her daughter in law to me and when I confronted her about she said she never said any of that. My own mother went and cussed out my mother in law a couple weeks ago asking her why she treats me like this and why her daughter and daughter in law say those things to me she straight up told my mom they would never say stuff like that to or about me becaus they like me and they wouldn't be mean to me. My mom called bullshit and said if Amber wants I to see the baby that's up to her so stay out of her life til she says so, my mom went and defended me because my husband wouldn't he's just as fucked up as them and says his mom never talks bad about me... Im,like well you wouldn't know because every time I leave the room her and her daughter start harassing me. I swear this is just drama drama drama I thought this kind of drama ended with high school.. Sorry for the language

Laura - posted on 11/03/2015

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My gods what horrid people! Sounds like they're overly jealous and are trying to push you out. Honestly I would step up to them and tell him if he's not going to defend you and your son that he needs to figure out what his priorities are, because if they're not his wife and son he's as messed up as the rest of them. I'm sorry I know it's not my place to say that but I have been in a few bad situations and can tell you unless something changes right now it's going to end up being an awful battle for you.

Amber - posted on 11/03/2015

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It's tough, his family makes me uncomfortable, his sister in law the one with a 4 year old, harasses me online daily calling me ugly calling my child ugly etc. I told my mother in law to tell that woman to leave me alone, and my mother in law says that her other daughter in law would never say things like that, which I remind her at one point she was threatening to keep her grandson away from her constantly cussing her family out, she tells me that never happened. His family is weird I don't know why they play favorites I don't know why they treat me like that I'm close to cutting his whole family out of my sons life because I don't want him getting treated like that. My husband tries to stay put of it but he's a hardcore mama's boy and tells me to ignore everything, but I won't I'm not gonna let people push me around.

Laura - posted on 11/03/2015

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Amber your mother in law sounds like my mother was with me and my oldest daughter. She and I never got along(honestly still don't most of the time). When she found out I was pregnant she told my little sister to tell me that she didn't want a thing to do with either me or my unborn child and that if I ever needed anything I better not ask her for help. My daughter is now 16 and even she realizes how much different my mother treats me and her and her sisters as opposed to my bothers and other sister and their children. You have to pick and choose your battles hun. Does he side with you on it or is he trying to just stay out of it all together?

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