WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR TEENAGER OF 15 TELLS YOU HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX ?

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Autumn - posted on 03/31/2010

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I would definitely appreciate that they came to you. Talk to them about safety, cuz they will do it with or without you. My husband and I unfortunately started at that age too...I say that because as we were safe and didn't have any issues at all....it changed our relationship so much. We were kids doing adult things. And now I wish I would have waited and just had been a kid. ehh live and learn! I was lucky and had a good man at age 15!

Pip - posted on 03/30/2010

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My now 16 yr old came to me about 6 mths ago with the same thing. I was pretty happy he talked to me 1st. We had the BE RESPECTFUL chat and the STD chat, then I brought him a pack of condoms and asked him to practice putting them on 1st so when it came time he wouldn't fumble around and get all embarassed. ( His girfriend he had been with for about 5 mths at the time and they are still happily together.)

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Arman - posted on 12/28/2013

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I want to sex with women, i am 22 if any one interested plz contact me my email adress, 'armanshergil@gmail.com' thanks!!

Alina - posted on 03/31/2010

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It's great that he came to you, which means he really trusts you and values your opinion. I would have a candid discussion with him about the repercussions of having sex too soon, make sure he understands sex is more than a physical function, but involves thoughts and emotions, too. I'd make sure he's ready and not just wanting to do it because his friends/peers are pressuring him into it. If he was my son I'd tell him to wait until he's married, but if he can't wait, take him out and buy him some protection. Make sure he knows the correct way to use a condom, and use his own, because girls can play tricks like poking holes into condoms to get pregnant on purpose, always knows that even if a girl tells him she's on the pill, use the condom anyway, every time, to protect himself from disease and teenage pregnancy. He has to protect his future and his future finances, so he doesn't need a child that he'll have to pay child support for for the next 18 years. (At 15 he doesn't need his wages being garnished for anything!) Let him know you support him and he can always talk to you about sex, whether he decides to have it or not.

Lesley - posted on 03/31/2010

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I would ask him or her if they want to be a mummy or daddy because no contraceptive is 100% safe

Christine - posted on 03/30/2010

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Well ... I'd be drinking....JK...LOL

What can you do, really? They know at a certain age you can't really enforce anything.

My eldest is 15 and like, your son, he tells me more than I want to hear sometimes. After my initail shock, I am very happy that he comes to me....as others have said.

The big thing I got across was the emotional part....the way woman look at sex...the physical part is a given. You know, the woman's perspective, which I think most man soooo need when it comes to sex.

I actually made my son talk about it to his pediatrician (it was a man Dr....thank God---cause I really don't know what having a penis is like), among other subjects like....close your ears...I mean eyes...whatever...the Dr. talked about all of it....body odor, cleanliness, masturbation--ugh, normal developement, skin care, STD's, etc. and with pictures....yippee. I was sitting there through the whole thing and I think my sons Dr. was more embarrassed than he was. My Dr. also told me, not many parents have our kind of relationship...so open. I just smiled because, I almost threw up in my mouth, like 3 times...during this office visit.

I preach waiting, even though we talk about everything, on account of maturity and it should be special. We are old-fashioned and believe it is a gift to give it to someone. In this day and age, sad to say, some of his friends have done things I don't think I even knew about till I was married.

Even though we have this belief....no matter what...today, we can not bury our heads in the sand. Not only is AIDS an issue but a lot of STD's stay with you your whole life and later, when he meets that special someone, they may not want to deal with an STD or his sexual past.

As much as I want to wrap him in a cocoon and carry him thru life...sex is not worth dying for...:)

Sarah - posted on 03/30/2010

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i agree.he will have sex with or without ur promision.u should just inform of everything.(abt s.t.d.s pregnancy, the fact if u wait for the one u truely love its worth the wait.the fact once u have sex ur relationship will change if not with the right person.is he ready for the changes that may come.i hope i raise my daughter as well as u did. i hope she comes to me like this

Myra - posted on 03/30/2010

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Tell him it's perfectly normal to want to. Talk about all the risks; emotional, health, and such. Have a long talk about masturbation, and that is the preferred way he deals with his urges until he's married (or at least in a long-term, committed relationship that's monogamous on BOTH parts). Using his hand to cure the itch can save his life with all the disease floating around.

That's what I'd do.

Nichole - posted on 03/30/2010

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Well be happy he came to you. And chances are he will probably have sex regardless of what you say after that, But if you want him to keep coming to you just prepare him for the deed. What could happen and all the pro's and con's to sex.

Nikki - posted on 03/30/2010

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LOCK THEM UP!! Just kidding, I agree with both Heather and Carly, they both have some great points, you have obviously done a fantastic job raising your child if they are comfortable enough to come to you with this, well done! At least this way you can educate him and ensure he is taking the proper precautions. Good luck

Carly - posted on 03/30/2010

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Just ensure that he is taking precautions against any un-wanted pregnancies and S.T.D's. If you say that you don't want him too, he will anyway. So the best thing for you to do would be to see this as a positive, he came to you before anything happened or any mistakes made.

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well, first of all, i think it is great that he actually came to you BEFORE having sex, and i think at least that part of it should be commended. im sure it was hard and quite embarassing for him to come to his parents. since he was being so honest with you, you should be honest with him... about how that makes you feel, and the repurcussions that can arise from having sex so young. talk about being safe, and what that means, not just protecting against pregnancy, but diseases too. the most important thing, is to remain calm, and keep that dialog going! ask him why he wants to have sex, ask him why he feels at 15 he is mature enough to handle it? and then ask him about the girl, how does she feel? do her parents know? etc.... i feel, that if you forbid it flat out without talking to him then he is more apt to do it behind your back... good luck!

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