What your children think Stay At Home Mom's do?

Monica - posted on 10/05/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son came to me today and said that his step sister said that all I do is sit down and play on the computer or watch tv. That I do nothing in the house. That I'm cheap, mean, and all I do is tell her what to do.. That her daddy gives her whatever she wants and makes all the money while I sit down and do nothing. Should I confront her on this matter or let it go? Since she is a 14 year old girl whose going to grow up to be a woman, I think she should know what goes on behind the scenes. She is very rarely here when her father is off working and only comes every other weekend when he is here. A lot of times most major work is done just before she gets here. Other times I wait to do major work until she leaves because the both of them (my son and her) together can be messy. Should I be hurt by it? I do so much in the house for everyone but myself. Our first year together I was working, ended up pregnant and then laid off. Because he was making ample amount of money, we decided that I would stay at home. After a year I had decided that I would go back to work when my daughter turned 2. unfortunately, I was diagnosed with cancer and couldn't go back to work and even then, I was expected to keep working in the house and doing things for everyone when my mom wasn't helping me. When I was diagnosed with cancer (now I'm in remission-1yr) I slowed down and I'm still struggling to get back on my feet but I'm not going to kill myself like i use to. So she may see me take naps. Sometimes when she is here she spends a lot of time outside with her sister so she doesn't see what's being done inside while she's outside. I already know her father feels like I do nothing because all to often i Hear him say I got Lot of time on my hands or i'm not doing anything, etc.. I wouldn't be a bit surprise if she overheard him telling somebody that I don't do anything. I bust my butt everyday teaching my daughter, playing with her, taking her outside to to the library, or bookstore, just trying to keep her active (and myself). I have to help my son with his school work, plan meals, fix meals (3 times per day). Clean, wash, iron, and the list goes on and on and this is without any help. After my cancer diagnosis, of course I made the kids step it up and make sure that they ALWAYS clean up behind themselves and from time to time I have to get on her about that because I'm not cleaning up after her. She is old enough to fix her breakfast (cereal and some toast and fruit) and lunch. If dishes need to be washed she should wash them. If she isn't watching after her sister like she should, I have every right to get after her. There are so many issues in so many areas, I just wonder where her mind is when it comes to me.

3 Comments

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Lori - posted on 10/07/2014

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agreed about your husband. but you don't have to justify anything to a 14 year old.

Michelle - posted on 10/06/2014

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I agree with Jodi, your husband needs to change his attitude and stop saying those things. As soon as I read the first line I knew it was coming from your husband. Address it with him first and let him know that he also needs to set his daughter straight.

Jodi - posted on 10/06/2014

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This sounds to me like you need to take this issue up with your husband. His attitude is reflected in her, and unless HIS attitude toward your role in the home changes, I can't see getting anywhere with her. He is the one who needs to sit her down and teach her that you deserve respect for your role.....but if he can't respect it, then I can't see how this is possible. You can't very well confront her about it if you aren't prepared to confront him about it, because he is demonstrating the exact same lack of respect that she is.

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