whats the best way to solve child clingness

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Krista - posted on 11/21/2009

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Clinginess is entirely normal and even desirable. Infants and toddlers need their mothers and mothers were made for them. At abround 3-4 years-old, they will begin "detaching" themselves. Hold on to them as long as you can. "Separation anxiety" is a non-existant condition in infants and small children. Seriously, think about it. They are wholly dependant beings being wholly dependant. If they experience anxiety at being separated from their life nourisher I'd say that makes them pretty healthy and normal.

Leah - posted on 11/20/2009

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How old is your child?

Usually they will grow out of it with reassurance that you are never far away and will always be around for them

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Julie - posted on 11/22/2009

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I found the best thing is to leave more often. It started with leaving - I always say goodbye be right back - then LEAVE, 2 minutes at first, then come back in - say Hello to the person watching your child, then say HELLO to your little one, this technique helps them realize they are safe, you come back, and they are not the center of the universe. It took a few weeks, slowly increasing 2 minutes to 5 to 10, to 20 he screamed and learned how to unlock the front door and run outside to the driveway, but each time the clingyness was less and less. Realize however, this is a stage most kids go through, but it can be a sign - for instance he is only clingy when you drop him at daycare - that your little one does not feel safe.

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I put my daughter in the church nursery and gym nursery several times a week. She cried the entire time for the first year or so. I think it is a combination of me staying at home and her personality. She's 18 months now. She'll cry for a minute and then get busy playing. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just be persistant and know that separation and crying will not hurt your child. I know that thought doesn't make it any easier, but know you are not alone. :)

Candice - posted on 11/22/2009

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my son was very clingy, and now he's nearly 4, and does really well on the occassions that my husband and I go out without kids. part of it was just age, and part of it was me gradually going places and dropping him off; like church nursery, MOPS(mothers of preschoolers). It's been the same with my daughter, and she's now almost 19 months and most days does better than she used to. Hang in there!! it kinda stinks when they're really clingy, but there IS a light at the end of the tunnel!!!

Jenn - posted on 11/21/2009

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Depends on the age - but make sure they have had the attention they are looking for in a cuddle, or a quick game of peek-a-boo or ring around the rosy or something like that, then get them involved in an activity - whether it's colouring, looking at books, playing with a specific toy, or have them help you with what you are doing if possible so they can be helpful and spend time with you without getting in the way of accomplishing something. Like when I am putting laundry in the dryer - I take it out of the washing machine and pass it to my son to put in the dryer for me - then he gets to shut the dryer door. He loves helping, he's learning about chores and responsibility, and I get the laundry done without him on my leg! LOL

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Assure him/her that you will always be there when needed. When the security is built, they feel safer being away. It takes time and it's normal.

Linda - posted on 11/21/2009

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my son is 14mths and im also with my son all the time. throughout the day i make a point of leaving the room so he gets used to me coming and going. i always tell him im going and that i wont be long. sometimes he will cry at the babygate for a very short time, so i pop me head out of the kitchen door to tell him im still here and i wont be long, he usually thinks this is funny then goes and plays. when i return i always speak to him and he comes for a cuddle. i try and leave him with his dad when possible so i can go shopping, this helps him get used to me gone for longer periods but he still knows i will be back to give him a cuddle

Whitney - posted on 11/20/2009

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my daughter is verrry attached and we play peek-a-boo/hiding seek games ALL the time, so i dont find that to be very helpful. ive stayed at home with her EVERY single day of her life, and shes now going on 18 months old. i think its gonna be a little tough for us when it is time to separate!

Patricia - posted on 11/20/2009

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set up play dates with friends that have kids and show that you can interact with them all. and try to get them involved with them and walk away...it may take a one a week play for a month before you see anything but sometimes just being around other kids helps....if he doesnt have other siblings.

Caryn - posted on 11/20/2009

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I agree with Leah, reassuring them that you WILL always come back and are never very far away is whats best. A way to do that is playing games like peek-a-boo/hide-and-seek. Games like this show your child that even though they can't see you temporarily you will return :)

Kyle - posted on 11/20/2009

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i would check with a doctor, depending on how old the child may have a form of separation anxiety.

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