Whats up with the Welfare not wanting a family member have custody or adopt other families kids.

Helena - posted on 04/15/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I am in a custody battle with the welfare to get my sisters 2 kids, in which she recently gave me custody of. The welfare caseworker wants the fosterparents to adopt them instead. The fosterparents will still get paid at least $1000/month until they both turn 18. The youngest is 4 and oldest is 6 now. I adopted my son from birth and he is 8 now. I don't make money off of him. I love and adore him. I have been through a FBI check, fosterparenting classes, etc. etc. My sister wants me to have the kids and my husband and I want them. Please pray for us! Those kids need to be with us and us with them. We are good parents. I didn't have much growing up so, I want my kids to have a great life. Almost anyone who knows us know we are what is best for these kids. Pray for us! Thanks and God bless you!

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Megan - posted on 04/24/2010

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You and your husband the the right choice for raising these children. It is ridiculous that the Welfare office would rather put them with strangers when the childrens' own family wants them and are the best choice for the job. I will be praying that you two do get to raise them. My friend and her husband recently were able to adopt his sister's three children after three years of fostering them in their home. I totally feel for you.

Meg

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Helena - posted on 05/03/2010

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Please pray for us we go to court on Friday the 7th of May over custody of my neice and nephew! I had to have my sister, their mother put in to a Psychiatric Hospital last Thursday. I am heart broken because she lost her mind. She has severe Psycosis. I never knew how bad she was until I was around her last week. I immediately took her to be checked out. The had a judge order a 72 hour hold on her, weekends not included. Her Psychiatrist called me on Friday and told me she was still saying that she was a judge, lawyer, and doctor. I pray she will come out of this. I have never seen anything like it , except in the movies. The nurse said it was the worse case of psycosis she has seen. The Psychiatrist said they were going to the judge tomorrow to keep her for up to 90 days. I know she is a danger to herself and others out here. She hopefully will be gettin g the help and medication needed to bring her out of this psycotic behavior. She has had a lot happen to her the last couple of years. Please pray for her and her kids. The kids do not know what is going on! I pray the Lord blesses us with the kids and bless their mom with bringing her back to our world instead of the one going on in her head!

Helena - posted on 04/25/2010

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Thank you so much. I am trusting God to help them so they can have a happy home and a stable environment with us. He is my rock and hope. You are very encouraging. Bless you and yours!

Amnie - posted on 04/24/2010

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it must break your heart to see your niece dirty when you would never allow her to go out like that into the world. Poor little girl I hope this gets sorted out quickly and that you and your husband gets custody. You need to report that photo in, how could you only bath a child once a week, imagine how she would feel, self esteem etc. Stay strong and GOD willing they will be with your family soon, but fight on, God says we have to help ourselves to, call them and demand they look into this now, don't be quite, stand up for those children. Good luck

Helena - posted on 04/23/2010

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I saw my niece at school this morning. She looked dirty and her hair looked like it has not been washed in a while. She told me her foster parents only give her and her brother a bath once a week on mondays! I am very upset. I took a picture of her. How can you send a child to school looking like that. I love them and hope they are doing okay!

Helena - posted on 04/23/2010

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Elizabeth,


I understand what your saying and do not tkae offense to it at all. I do not have a relationship with try my family due to the way they want to live their life. I grew up in the fostercare system until I was 18 years old. I believe you should do better for your children than what you had to go through as a child. My husband and I have an 8 year old son whom we adopted from birth. We have high morals when it comes to kids and life in general. I also understand that in some situations it is a two way street. All situations are different and should not be treated the same. However it is so terrible to see anything bad happen to a child at all. They all need unconditional love and nurturing. Some foster homes are good and some aren't. Some family adopting other families children is a good thing and sometimes its not. In my situation I try to stay away from negative family, because they are caught in downward cycle. I pray for them though. If the Lord sees fit for us to have the kids then that will be wonderful and will will give them a good ,happy life. If the Lord says no then I have to believe he has his reasons and knows best for the kids and my future. For now, I choose to try to keep faith that the Lord will bless me with my niece and nephew and allow us the joy of being parents to two more children. I appreciate your advice and want to thank you for taking time out to give it!

Sincerely,

Helena Stricker

Elizabeth - posted on 04/23/2010

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That's a great attitude Helena! God has a plan for everything and everyone. I was simply trying to explain how it may not be you that's preventing the adoption, but rather your close relation to your sister. It sounds like you are aware the children are best placed away from their mother, but you know once a government agency gets involved they become responsible for the outcome. I know you wouldn't turn the kids back over to their mother, but there have been many situations where a close relative takes over a child and the dangerous element (a boyfriend/girlfriend, step parent, or parent) are still permitted access to the child. The results can be disastrous.

I remember a situation not that long ago where a little girl was given to her maternal grandmother because the mother was unfit and the father was deployed, the maternal grandmother allowed the mother to take the child on outings, thinking she was doing a good thing by letting the child have short, positive experiences with the mother she was taken away from. On one such outing, the child was killed (there was a history of physical abuse from the mother). While these situations are the exception, as most adults who take a child under their care would never jeopardize him or her, they are more likely to happen when family pressure is there to allow access and it only takes one such headline to cause hugh backlash against the governmental agency. No one ever wants a harmed child on their watch, and I know that includes you too.

Try not to take it personally, and if you aren't awarded custody, maybe you can at least petition for visitation with the children so they have a healthy connection to their biological family. Many foster parents are open to that idea if it helps the child to have a positive relationship with cousins and aunts.

Helena - posted on 04/23/2010

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Elizabeth,
Thank you for your response. I appreciate the info you have provided. We don't want my sister to ever have the kids because she is not mentally able too. Either way, no matter what, the Lord will have the final say! He is the only one. I am just putting my trust in him because he knows whats best for us!

God Bless,

Helena

Elizabeth - posted on 04/22/2010

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The only thing I could think of is depending on the reason your niece and nephew are up for adoption could play into it? I'm not accusing your sister, but if they were removed from the home for cause, the system might not want a close relative to take custody for fear he or she would turn the children back over to the mother, or allow prolonged contact that might not be in the best interest of the children. I don't know your situation, but it might be less about you and more about the situation with your sister. Sorry your family is dealing with this, custody issues are never easy. I hope the children are placed in a safe and stable home though, whether that is yours or the foster parents'.

Helena - posted on 04/22/2010

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Katie,

Thank you so much for your prayer! I can't tell you have wonderful it is to hear that beautiful pray! It blessed me so much. Today has been an emotional day for me. I love those kids! All I could do is pray and trust in the Lord! God Bless you and yours!



Sincerely,



Helena Stricker

Katie Pearl - posted on 04/15/2010

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Your in my prayers Helena... may God bless your family and strengthen it through this emotional and hard time. May he watch over your sister's children and fill them with his grace and glory, And protect them until they are home and safe with you and your family who love them dearly. Amen

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