When is it time to stop?

Kaila - posted on 06/03/2011 ( 98 moms have responded )

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The other day I stepped out of the shower and started getting ready .. Still naked with the door open ( I don't like putting clothes on when im still wet and its a small bathroom so I leave the door open) My son was playing in the hall next to the bathroom and My Fiance looks at me and says your not goiing to be able to do that much longer... My son is 1 1/2 and I just dont see the problem in it right now.. When is it time to stop doing that?

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Carey - posted on 06/10/2011

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I agree it's just when either one becomes uncomfortable. My son is 5 yrs old now and still asks to shower with me on occasion. I know that seems a little old to some but he still doesn't act like he notices anything different. He acts the same whether I am clothed or in the shower (I also leave the door open in case he needs anything). He even asked to shower with grandma when she was visiting and she was almost surprised at how comfortable she was with him. He's much more interested in playing with the water ;)

Crystal - posted on 06/08/2011

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As long as you don't make a big deal about it, he's not going to know if seeing you like that is good or bad. My son is 5 and I still dress in front of him if needed. I ask now to have some privacy, but my kids are 3 & 5 so they are ok by themselves while I shower and dress. but if they need me while I'm dressing, i don't freak out that they see me naked. (if that makes sense) As long as you're comfortable with it, what's the big deal? He's only 1! lol :) I'd say when YOU start feeling uncomfortable, then its time to stop.

Simone - posted on 06/05/2011

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My son is 4 and he showers with me and his sister and I don't make a big deal out of being naked and both me kids don't seem to care

Jaime - posted on 06/04/2011

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I have never had issues with my son, he has never asked questions or anything about us being different. I think Teal is right...it only becomes a big deal when you make it one.

Tiffany - posted on 06/03/2011

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I stopped when my son turned 3. he turned 3 in Dec. I did it then cause he started telling me "I love you mommy" lol. I turn my back when i change bras or am getting dressed. I still allow him to see me in my bra and panties but i see nothing wrong with that cause its the same as a swim suit. And if i get out of the shower i always keep my back turned to him cause i mean hey, we all got bottoms and they are the same weather you are a male or female so he don't act weird or ask questions. lol. but yeah it really depends on the child IMO. Some people never stop cause they are so comfortable with nudity. I know people my age whose parents still change or shower with their kids in the room. It really just depends on the parent and child. but just keep in mind that what some find highly inappropriate others may find perfectly normal. There is no right or wrong way to handle that situation. just how ever you feel suits you best.

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Laura - posted on 05/29/2012

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wow! your friend is really repressed,maybe on the point of mental illness!what is he suggesting any how? a 2 yr old will turn into a sex fiend if he see his mom naked.?.so ..........just the next,,, time,,,,,,, joke him and say

"well ,i have decided to have a nudist family,,,the human body is beautiful,nor nasty or bad,,,maybe he would have a heart attack ha,ha,

..i am a naturopath,child councellor,and advocate,, home school,co-sleep,here are 13 kids and 4 moms here in our large home,,,we have hot-springs,,,and do not force the kids to wear suits,, ( oldest is 12) we do not teach body shame,,,,just peace,love,creativity,harmony......service,,devotion..( i bf 5 of my 7,)..so maby deciding to be of pure-mind and raise a nudist fam,,may not be such a bad idea,,,,,,,,,,!you seem NOT to be in shame...please check out our NATURE-MOMS circle,,see member list,,my profile,and hope you join.....much info on REAL life issues...there are answers....remember,the greatest gift is that not only are we ALIVE.but have the possibility to fully enjoy it too!.,,,tell us your IDEAS,,,and wishes for your family....

[deleted account]

Allison, was your daughter breastfed by chance? I'm just trying to figure out the eating noises, which I think is cute and funny. My 4 1/2 yo son (who still showers with me and daddy) told me last night that my bum was bigger than his. (answer: "Yes, it is because I'm a bigger person than you are, so even my feet are bigger!") lol When they start talking about things like that, or grabbing (ouch!), it's the perfect opportunity to teach them about not touching other people and definitely not grabbing and pinching or slapping.



My sons have poked my boobs when they were younger, around 2 I suppose. Clothed and unclothed. It's just a stage (and yes, they were breastfed) and I didn't do much about it except to tell them that it's not nice to poke mummy in the breasts because it hurts. I always go with the old "would you like me to do that to you?" as well.



Now, my 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 yo sons know that you don't touch other people's private parts (breasts, vaginas and penises) because their bodies belong to them and are not for everyone to touch. It's okay to be curious about things, but best not to touch if it doesn't belong to you... which I've also used for many things, not just people's bits. That is a really good line for shopping to keep hands to themselves because "we don't touch if it doesn't belong to us". Once it's in the trolley and paid for, it's fair game.

[deleted account]

My daughter is 2 1/2 and I just recently stopped getting dressed around her or letting her shower or bathe with me. By 2 their able to notice things such as the fact your naked lol
My daughter was at the point where she would grab at my boobs and try to bite them and making eating noises at me, or declaring I had a butt as well as her and slapping at it. She also started rubbing soap on my legs so enough was enough

[deleted account]

I would be quitting the beer and smoking before I would stop the nudity! Before long, she will see him mimic her smoking like my nieces and nephews have done. They are a bit older than my boys, and my BIL smokes. I have seen them pretend to smoke, which I find much worse than seeing a parent nude. It is instilling a bad, unhealthy habit into their heads and statistics show that most kids of smoking parents end up smokers themselves.

What your friend will find is that her son will be easier to toilet train if he is watching her and daddy use the toilet. It happens to all of us... the kids follow you everywhere, including into the toilet. Both of my boys were toilet trained just after their second birthday within days (first was 3 days, the second 6 days) and I attribute some of that to the fact that they had seen us using the toilet so it was easy to copy what they had seen.

User - posted on 07/18/2011

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When they are old enough to realize that you are naked and talk about it. My friends son is 2 and he knows when she is going inside to get a beer ("Mama get beer?" "No, mama's going pee." "No mama, you getting beer.") and when she's going to smoke ("I'm gunna go outside stay with Nena." "Mama go smoke cigarette?"). So I would quit VEERRRRY soon

Kacie - posted on 07/18/2011

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i havent read the entire 5 pages of responses, but i say stop doing it when your son feels uncomfortable with it

our son is almost 6 and we're not a modest house/family at all! i sleep naked, the only time the bathroom door(s) are closed is when we have company and/or we're in the shower to keep cold air from entering. i dont put clothes on for a good hour after a shower/bath. its not a big deal (to us) My son just recently became a bit modest on his own terms by wanting the door closed when he is in the bathroom.

When he voices to me that me being naked makes him uncomfortable, then i'll change a few things to make him more comfortable. until then, its all out in the open!

Kacie - posted on 07/18/2011

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i havent read the entire 5 pages of responses, but i say stop doing it when your son feels uncomfortable with it

our son is almost 6 and we're not a modest house/family at all! i sleep naked, the only time the bathroom door(s) are closed is when we have company and/or we're in the shower to keep cold air from entering. i dont put clothes on for a good hour after a shower/bath. its not a big deal (to us) My son just recently became a bit modest on his own terms by wanting the door closed when he is in the bathroom.

When he voices to me that me being naked makes him uncomfortable, then i'll change a few things to make him more comfortable. until then, its all out in the open!

Michelle - posted on 07/14/2011

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I only have a daughter, and even though she's 14, she still comes in the bathroom when Im in the shower, or naked. I don't care. It freaks out my husband, though. My mom was the same way with me and my two sisters. At 66, she still is. The last thing I want(ed) my daughter to think is that the human body is something to hide, to be ashamed of.
Would I be the same with a little boy? Probably not. I'd probably be more modest--underwear, towel--instead of nude. And I bet when he starts being bothered by it, he'll avoid you when he knows you're in the shower.
But like I said, this is all pure conjecture...

Jaime - posted on 07/13/2011

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Sarah thank you SO much for your post. I was about to post on here about how I feel that children who do not grow up around seeing their parents, they do have a questionable outlook on how a man and woman are suppose to look.

If girls don't see their mothers are "normal" woman like them they will look at these anorexic models and magazines. And boy will go off looking at playboy because they have never seen breasts. To me that is just ridiculous.

My son knows the boundaries and he will grow up a respectable young man who knows not to touch a woman in those certain places. It's one thing to teach your children boundaries its another to teach them to just think being naked is bad - that will cause a LOT of trouble in their relationships.

Sarah - posted on 07/13/2011

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My oldest is 4, and the only time he is not allowed to see me in a state of undress is when I'm using the toilet. Even that isn't so much a issue of him seeing my body as it is simply a privacy issue for me. We never make it a huge deal, telling our kids they are free to see us nude or anything, we just also don't kick them out if they come in while we're bathing or dressing. I think the more natural you act about it, the more natural it will seem to your child. I don't want my kids growing up to be ashamed of their bodies. I also don't want them using their bodies promiscuously, but from research I have seen, the kids most at risk of that kind of behavior are the ones taught that their bodies are something to be ashamed of!

I also don't want my kids growing up with unrealistic views of how women and men "should" look. I never saw my parents nude that I can remember, and do know that by the time my brother was 3 he was not allowed in my parent's room while they dressed or in the bathroom while my mom bathed. I personally felt pressured to look like the girls in the magazines, and it caused some problems as I got older. I'm not saying everyone in that same situation would react the same way, but I hope that my sons and daughter will appreciate their bodies for what they are. They've seen mine, which is not perfect. Maybe, hopefully, they will retain some respect for the true human body, not the airbrushed, plastic, obsessive versions splashed all over our culture today.

Jan - posted on 07/13/2011

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My husband and I have four children ages 23, 22, 14 and 13. We have taken each one in the shower with us when they were babies. The oldest girls (23 and 22) stopped showering with us around the age of 10 or 11 at their choice. They would still come in our room and chat with us while we were dressing tough. They just never saw anything wrong with us being in a state of undress. My 13 year old daughter is no longer showering with dad but will occasionally shower with me. It's no big deal. She has no problem going to the toilet or dressing in front of her dad or I. She also has no problem seeing her father and I dress. She is more reserved around her 14 year-old brother. Talking about him, he would still shower with me if I let him. I stopped him about two years ago because of society's views on this topic, not mine. Were he to say in public that he showered with his mother I am quite certain there would be questions to be answered by someone outside the home. He will still come in and talk to me when I go to the bathroom or if I am in the shower. He has no problem with any of our nudity. I found that because of the openness I was able to address the natural questions and lessons about the body and its functions very easily. All my children are very comfortable with their bodies and comfortable with the functions of our bodies. I do not, nor do they, equate nudity with sexuality. Sexuality starts with what you are thinking (not that you cannot be aroused by what you see....but it's what you are thinking about while you are seeing). My children do not think anything about their siblings or their parents. They know we reserve sexuality for our mates and that we don't go running around outside the house naked.
I'm not really concerned about my son confusing anything and perhaps becomming sexually aggressive. My husband never did. They just don't equate mom and dad with sexuality. I get undressed with my best friend in the room and I'm not sexually attracted to her or feel weirded out by it. But we don't go getting undressed around other member of the opposite sex outside our family because we have discussed that this is a matter of privacy and it is reserved for the home only.
I hope this helps some. You have to be comfortable. Your child has to be comfortable. Whenever either one of those changes you will know it's time to stop....if at all.

Jaime - posted on 07/13/2011

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I question the parents that are against changing in front of their children - if they have a sister or brother, they are never going to see you change a diaper?

Stephanie - posted on 07/13/2011

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I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way! The human body shouldn't be taboo. Yay for all the open minded mommas!

Jaime - posted on 07/13/2011

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After reading all the posts, I can only say it must depend on the child. My son is 7 and like Teal, it is just normal for us to change clothes together and he doesn't look or point or ask questions. I guess I wonder WHY or HOW is a 3 year old even noticing or understanding the difference unless its brought in front of them. My son knows the difference between a girl and boy...I think the young kids who say something or do something is all because the parents or someone else made a big deal about it and told them. Kids learn only by what they hear and see from adults - they don't learn that nakedness is bad all on their own.

Stephanie - posted on 07/13/2011

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Thats a good question... My son is three and recently started looking down there when I get out of the shower. I try to put on my panties immediatly but if he does see me or actually is able to reach my breast to touch it I just don't make a big deal out of it. I just tell him Mommies boobie and he goes on about his business. I try not to make a big deal about it because I want him to be comfortable about sexuality. I think Americans( yes I'm American) are to up tight about sexuality, sex is natural and our bodies are natural. I feel like if my boys aren't taught it's "wrong" then they won't be so eager to do it. Just my personal opinion though.

[deleted account]

To each their own; I answered before, and after reading a lot of these posts, I've really thought a lot about it. I do want there to be a comfort level in our family and I'm not saying I'm going to be naked in front of my sons when they're 12, but I don't think that it's bad to show them that being naked isn't a bad thing. My 3 year old son in the last couple days likes to follow me in the bathroom to make sure that I'm doing it right I guess. It's not a big deal unless I make it a big deal. They won't be as curious about everything if they're free to ask questions. Now, am I going to explain what sex is when they're 4? I'm leaning towards definitely not, but I'm not going to wait until they find out when they're 12 and make them learn it at school like my mom did with me. I've hated being female since the first day I got my period. I had no idea what was happening. I'm very conservative and tend to dress somewhat conservatively because I've had many sexual experiences I didn't ask for. However, I don't want my kids to be ashamed of themselves because I'm ashamed of myself. I think it's a fine line, but if you raise your kids with values, morals, and teach them respect, I think they're probably going to grow up just fine.

[deleted account]

Which, in answering the OP question, you have said that if a kid sees a patent nude, or in a state of undress, they will become molesters. That's a load of rubbish. The MILLIONS of people on this planet who sees nudity in one form or another are not all molesters. I showered with my father at age 8, I had to help my mother get dressed (so saw her nude) at age 12 and for some strange reason I'm not a molester.

And the parts of Japan I'm talking about? You mean the whole damn country?! Anime and manga are EVERYWHERE. Most kids have access to them, because they are comic books and cartoons (which you obviously did not know).

I'm sorry you were sexually abused. It should never happen to anyone. That has clearly tainted how you view sex and it actually sounds like you are in some way blaming yourself for what has happened. Women and children, regardless of how they dress do not ask for it. As Sam said, women dress for themselves, not for the attention of men. How people dress has no bearing on someone who's cracked, angry, controlling and power hungry. They will rape and abuse a person in a full burqa if given the opportunity.

I will agree with you that the objectification of women isn't right. Half naked women draped over cars in a car ad, the men's magazines, etc. It all objectifies women, which means that women are objects to possess, use, lord over. A live nude woman is a real person complete with flaws and seeing this person in a non-sexual atmosphere won't necessarily make men jump all over her. Male nudists don't walk around with erections all the time because of female nudists.

I'm sorry you had to experience something so horrible and I hope that you have help in dealing with the subsequent effects on your life. I hope you are able to instill your daughters a healthy attitude toward their bodies

You are right that what we see when we are young can affect us when we are older. We tend not to remember the pedestrian, everyday things (like showering and seeing people get dressed), but events that are traumatic or in some way affect us can be remembered. Like I said before, I remember showering with my father at 8 years of age, but I couldn't tell you what his penis looked like. What I remember is the water fight we had. We had these soft cup things that were great to use like water balloons. I even remember how I pelted my dad on the chin (great accidental aim) and all this water went up his nose and he was spluttering. See how detailed my memory is of the event... Yet I don't remember what his dick looked like. And I'd seen it on more than that one occasion. As a teen, about 12, I was going into my parents' room to help my mother get dressed and to clean her catheter. That was my "job" in the mornings when she was home from hospital. Well, one day my father was still home and getting dressed when I walked in. He was butt naked, but I couldn't tell you what anything looked like because I didn't really take any notice because I was there to help my mum. So I also saw my mother nude many, many times, yet I have no recollection of her body either. I remember her smile and how fragile she became in the end stages of leukemia. I remember how she looked bald. Couldn't tell you what her boobs or her nether region looked though.

If seeing someone nude makes you go all molester, then why don't all nurses (many of whom are male) become molesters? Just as we aren't all christians, even fewer of us are sexual abusers.

Colleen - posted on 06/16/2011

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I will say no more as the main point of this was to answer Kaila Wanzer's question and I think it has now gone to a topic about molesters, that was not my intent. I only meant to suggest that what we see when we are young can effect who we are when we are older.

Colleen - posted on 06/16/2011

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What a idiotic comment to make that I am a molester come on now. I know what makes them who they are by just watching what happens in society, what porn and nudity does to people how it corrupts and turns people into monsters. Marriages fall apart becuase of Porn addictions, and just like people who use hard core drugs start out with mild drugs and then turn to hard drugs its the same with sex if your not careful with it and dont attempt to keep it in check it will turn you into a monster just like drugs do. The mind is easily corrupted and I think we need to go back to a time when women were more modest in their attire not flaunting of themselves. I am not suggesting you are dressing this way so why do you respond with such anger? if you are dressing modestly then why are you feeling threatened? I don't know you from Adam so how do I know how you dress so I was not directing this at you so why do you feel you need to defend yourself? If you are doing nothing wrong then you have no reason to be angry with me? Sorry I don't know you so its not personal!

Sam - posted on 06/16/2011

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Just because I walk out in a revealing outfit does not mean I want attention from men! I dress for myself and how I feel not for anyone else. Just because some kid sees their parent naked does not mean they will be a sexual predator. Unless you yourself are a molester Colleen (not saying you are) then you can not say for certain what they think or feel or what there triggers are. Each person is different!

Colleen - posted on 06/16/2011

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No man just wakes up one day and decides oh I'm gonna go abuse someone sexually. It is a progression of things over a long period of time, it starts subtle with nude images then that is not enough for stimulation so they move on to some porn then that gets boring so then its child porn and then its acting out that in real life. It all starts with they eyes and then turns many into monsters its how the devil works through tempting us with our eyes so be careful little and big eyes what you see or you too could turn into that monster of a sexual abuser it is not impossible these men or Women that commit sexual abuse started out as a innocent little children and what they have seen in life has control over their minds to a point where now they cannot control it anymore.

Colleen - posted on 06/16/2011

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I totally nderstand the motivations behind sexual abuse it is plain sin, I have been sexually abused. I know for a fact that sexual abusers cannot control their urge for sex I wonder were they get that from, maybe looking at too much Porn and naked women makes them crave for more??? sex is like a drug and if it is not controlled properly it will become a monster.

Colleen - posted on 06/16/2011

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The parts of Japan you are talking about are not the whole picture. In our society we have magazines right in full view of children with half nude women on the cover or fully nude women. Our television commericals are all covered in sexual suggestions have naked women ect.. that is why we have a high rate of sexual crimes. Men see and it effects their sexual desire men are not like Women, Women want sex usually unless they are very mixed up, when a man makes her feel special and loved she enjoy's touch where a man just looks and wants what he see's. All men have to deal with their sexual desires and to walk around half nude or totally nude is not helping them any. We were not put on this earth to please men or to try to get attention from men we were put here to please our God. Far too many people are out to please themselves women dress to get mens attention and then often when they get it they are unhappy they have his attention, we let our little girls walk about half dressed when thereare young boys walking around with huge amounts of testosterone surging through their body and wonder why things happen when they do. The eyes will always be what starts the tempation to sin, a man is tempted after he sees a women naked and soon if he does not ask for Gods help he will give in to that temptation. The mind is a fragile thing, we are to have the mind of Christ, not focussed on ourselves but on him and what he wants from us. Lust is not what he wants.

Colleen - posted on 06/16/2011

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Laugh all you want but if you did the research you would realize that Boys are very sensitive to nudity and what they see will effect who they become when they are older gauranteed. No boy needs to see a naked women once they are able to have memories that stick I think that is around age 4. The eyes are what cause the mind to become weak, what we see effects how we act and who we are, sin enters through the eyes. Take it or leave laugh at it think i'm crazy it won't change what I think or what I believe. No mother would let her son have a magazine of nude women to look at so why would you let him look at you nude you don't think it won't have the same effect there is no difference between sexual parts on you or the sexual parts of girls in the magazines ! If I had a boy I would not want him to feel shame for seeing me nude and then thinking of womens sexual parts sorry you are not thinking straight not me!

Sam - posted on 06/16/2011

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I only have girls, 10 and 8 my 8 year old still asks to shower with me sometimes and I don't care. If you make a big deal out of it then it will become a big deal. Just answer questions openly and honestly!

[deleted account]

Okay, let's use my home ground: Japan. You have obviously not seen anime or manga, because most are filled with images of nudity and sex (lots of it violent). Then you've got the porn. Their porn has nudity and sex, like regular porn, but they usually blur out a woman's pubic hair. Also, a lot of their porn centers on fetishisms... Lots of pearl necklaces happening too. Sexual crimes do happen, as does rape (which is a violent crime), but the statistics are low for a couple reasons. 1) men can get sex of any kind from prostitutes and 2) those kinds of crimes are NOT talked about in order to "save face" and the honour of the family. Spousal rape is not even considered rape! Overall, you can really judge by statistics because a lot goes unreported.

And, on the subject of nudity and Japan, the land of public bath houses... Boys see real life nudity. While public bath houses are more a country thing and going out of fashion, there are still many out there. Even in individual houses, they have ofuro (a large bath) where kids bathe together and it's not uncommon for a parent to be washing in order to go into the ofuro while the kids are in it getting ready to get out. Also, they live in smaller spaces. A family of 5 (my relatives) commonly live in a 2-3 room apartment. That means a living/dining area, 1 bedroom, kitchen, bathroom and toilet. Everyone sees everyone naked at some point, but so what? If you don't want it, you just don't look.

A-ha! So you admit that people should be ashamed of nudity! So did your god make you complete with jeans and t-shirt? Last time I checked, my babies weren't born wearing a onesie. How long have clothing retailers been around, compared to humans? The god of native peoples is usually all about love, care and respect (of fellow humans as well as the land). They believe they came into the world as their god intended.

I can guarantee (not a word I take lightly) that you are wrong. You obviously do not understand the motivations behind sexual abuse to make such an asinine statement. Nudity has nothing to do with a violent act of aggression and power. Australian aboriginal children (who are NOT walking around nude) are at high risk of sexual abuse because of things like alcohol and drug abuse. In old days, when an army conquered a town/village/city it was customary for the men to rape and pillage as a "reward" by their superiors. Why? Because raping an enemy's women, and even better to impregnate them, shows your strength over your enemy. Most warfare resulted in raping and pillaging of innocent women and children. So, nudity has no correlation to sexual abuse or rape. That's right up there with saying if a girl goes out in a short skirt, she's asking to be raped!

Colleen - posted on 06/16/2011

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As for those naked people you see around the world jsut becuase everything looks okay on the surface doesn't mean their nudety isnt' causing problems for some of their people, I bet you becuase people are walking around naked that their are more numbers of children being sexually abused I gaurantee it.

Colleen - posted on 06/16/2011

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Sherri, you are not a boy as I assume. I think people need to understand how boys and men think then maybe you'd understand what I was saying. Boys are sexual do to looking at sexual parts Women feel sexual when men treat them sexually. So thus men will have a different reaction to nakedness then Women. ITs about time we realize that men and Women are not the same and do not think the same. I will use Japan as an example in Japan there are no nude magazines to be found you cannot buy any nude pictures of any sort it is banned well no look at their statistics of rape and other sexual crimes and I bet you there is either none or a very very small amount of that type of crime. Boys if they are exposed to, too much visual nudety of a women in younger life are said to prohibit higher sexual agression then those who had not seen nudity at a young age. I think you need to look into the statistics before you decide you know what your talking about. We are to guard out children's minds as well as their hearts, Boys think differently then Girls and were nudity is concern boys do not need to see their mother naked. Girls don't need to see their father naked either I personally would not want a mental image of my father naked thank-you. If people are no longer ashamed of their nakedness it is only becuase they have forgotten their sin so thus they do not feel naked before God.

[deleted account]

Bhahahaha! I feel sorry for all those thousands of people with sexually warped children. All those Africans, Ni-vans (native people in Vanuatu), Yanamamo (and other South American natives) as well as the different native Asian groups... All of them must have really screwed up societies since they don't wear any clothes apart from the odd lion cloth or grass skirt. Oh yes, my extended family (Japanese) must be warped too since they've seen nude people of both sexes in varying ages at public bath houses in the past. But I probably wouldn't be able to recognise it since I'm most likely warped from having seen my parents, family and strangers nude in those same bath houses (as well as just bathing with family members at home).

It's not about celebrating nudity. It's about just living as humans. And as for the Adam and Eve thing. They were perfectly happy being nude until they had sinned. So obviously flesh became associated with sin, which is something to be ashamed of. Therefore, nudity is apparently something to be ashamed of, otherwise we'd all be running around as god intended, wouldn't we?

See, I own a passport and have seen quite a bit of the world and the "naked" people I've seen don't really seen fussed about it... because it's not a big deal, unless you make it one. It suddenly becomes a problem when missionaries move in and start screwing with their culture and way of life in an effort to "improve" the heathens way of life. The Western world goes in and shows the natives that their nudity is shameful, and before you know it some of the natives start thinking about being nude when they never had before.

There are ways to be modest and respectful while being nude. In Japan, you see grown men enter the public bath holding a wash cloth over heir genitals. Many women do the same, but they aren't actually covering their genitals. What is considered overtly sexual and a "no-no" is pubic hair, not the actual genitalia. So it wouldn't surprise me if other native cultures that aren't fussed about nudity believe something similar.

Private parts are meant to be private to touch. We explain to our boys that no one should touch their bits without consent. It's not like any of us are wandering around town naked, so it's pretty easy for a kid to figure out that nudity isn't for public consumption... Unless we are in a place where it's different because when I travel, I live like a local.

Colleen - posted on 06/15/2011

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Boys will one day be sexual and think sexual thoughts they are boys and do you really want your image to come to their minds and then make them feel sick inside for thinking it. People need to be relistic its not about shame its about the fact that men and Women are sexually attracted to the opposite sex. You might think your little boy after the age of 4 is innocent but I tell you when they turn 12 or 13 they will have sexual thoughts and I don't think an image of their mother naked is something they need to have imprinted on their brain. Sorry its just something I think is very twisted in today's society, equalism and not feeling ashamed of who we are, come on now when Adam and Eve realized they had sinned they felt ashamed of their nakedness what has happened to humans that we think nakedness is something to be celebrated. Craziness in my mind! I do not celebrate my nakedness or think I need to show my children I am comfortable with my nakedness no I need to show my children that naked private parts are private and I need my privacy as they need theirs not shaming at all just a fact that those parts are private and should be private!

Kristin - posted on 06/15/2011

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I was just reading about this in the "what to expect the first year" book. it says that parental nudity is fine up until preschool age. after that it's not suggested

OhJessie - posted on 06/15/2011

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It's a family thing - some of us are/were casual about nudity and others aren't. It seems to matter most how casually the family in general treats it.

[deleted account]

honestly he is still pretty little. i have young kids and still end up getting dressed in front of them. My husband is military and deploys so there is no one to watch them and it is hard to watch them and do things i would do alone. i have read and asked this question many times and i have gotten the answer that until your kids seem embarrassed to see you like that or say something you are fine. They arent looking at you in any way that will worry you anyways. as far as they know this is life. i do however let my kids know they shouldnt ever see other people naked nor does anyone need to see them naked. also you will be able to tell when to stop. if they arent phased by it then dont worry. once your kiddo wants to be private with his own body from you then maybe that is your cue to be private yourself. my kids are 4 3 and 1 and i breast feed the youngest and it is too hard to hide that from the other two so i dont bother. They honestly dont care. as long as your young kids arent seeing you naked doing something they shouldnt see then i dont think they are going to be scarred or think anything bad.

Carey - posted on 06/14/2011

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I also believe it is very important to talk to you kids at an early age about not being okay for anyone to touch private areas when mom/dad aren't there. If they are comfortable about their bodies it is actually easier to talk about what is not okay and can tell you anything. My 5 yr old knows to scream and yell if a stranger tries to touch him (and not be shamed). Just because a child sees nudity in the house does not mean that they are going to think it is okay with strangers and out of the house. Shame is a big part of not telling and not knowing what is okay or not.

Julie - posted on 06/14/2011

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I still do it in front of my 12 year old son... All of us in our house are comfortable in our bodies and are occasionally naked in front of each other. My husband and I also have a nine year old daughter.

Steph - posted on 06/14/2011

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My son will be 4 in august, & he sometimes still has a bath with me !! I dont see the problem...?!

Tracy - posted on 06/14/2011

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My son turns 3 in a couple months and I still shower with him in the room and sometimes he hops in with me. He doesn't act weird, just has the occasional question (which I think is perfectly normal and I'm not embarrassed to answer them). He doesn't try grabbing or anything, so I'm still fine with it. I do try to shower without him whenever possible (meaning when he's sleeping or when daddy's home and can watch him), but he's usually up by 6am so I don't get a lot of days without him being around. When it starts to be weird I will definitely stop. But as long as he doesn't care, neither do I.

[deleted account]

Teal, I love you!

Sherri, I'm actually surprised by your response to this. I've always had this notion that you're quite conservative, which usually has the "cover it up" attitude go along with it. I've found a whole new level of respect and kinship in you. :-)

IMO, based on growing up in a non-Western backdrop, the whole "letting your kids see you naked will warp their minds" is hogwash. I grew up with public bath houses, small living spaces (2 rooms plus toilet, bathroom and kitchen) and regularly seeing family members nude but no one giving a toss because it's NORMAL. I remember showering with my father (my choice) at about 7 years old. I don't remember his bits, I remember that we had a water fight and it was fun.

Why do we broadcast to kids that the body is something to be ashamed of, is something bad? that is what they are thinking when we suddenly become self conscious and start covering up. It's easy to teach a kid that their body parts aren't to be touched by strangers without having to hide your body. Be proud of your body and your child will be proud of his/hers.

We obviously don't hide our bodies in this house. Nudity is no big deal. In fact, it's not uncommon to find someone go off to have a shower, get undressed, then come running back into the living room to jump and roar like a lion (complete with the hands up, shoulder height, clawing at the air). And tonight I was getting ready for bed (the boys were already in the family bed) and my eldest (4), who's been sick as a dog, noted aloud "you've got big boobies!" I laughed my head off, then answered "that's what happens to them after mummies have fed 2 babies!" He chuckled and nodded knowingly. I'm sure he was thinking back to when he used to watch me feed his brother, while he tried to feed his toys. (yes, he saw me breastfeed too!)

Andrea - posted on 06/14/2011

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I think when ever your son starts asking ?'s Mine is 2 and still pays ZERO attention to me being naked after a shower.

Colleen - posted on 06/13/2011

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I never meant to imply that the father is going to be a molester or the mother is going to be a molester that was not my intent, I think children need to know that those parts are very private to stop OTHER people from hurting them. I think it is especially important when it comes to brother's and Sisters to show them that they need privacy from each other when changing or showering. Also boys are impacted by what they see at a young age especially sexually. Just my opinion and I believe it strongly. You can take it or leave it. I think if you ask any Man he would not want to have an image in his mind of his naked Mother ask you husband I am sure he would agree.

Mimi - posted on 06/13/2011

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I still take my 7 year old in public restrooms with me. He also walks in on me dressing all the time. I dont see anything wrong with it. He understands that you are not to put your hands on ther people or let anyone else put theirs on your body. Once they are old enough to ask questions it becomes a good teaching point in a safe enviroment to go over good touch bad touch.

[deleted account]

I say do what you feel. My husband will put on a pair of shorts if he showers with my 2 year old. She doesn't really notice or say anything, but he feels more comfortable that way and she walks around a lot in the shower and he doesn't want to accidentally bump into her. Personally, in my opinion, when they start getting curious is a good time to stop. They need to learn privacy but also need to know that boys and girls have different things.

Colleen - posted on 06/13/2011

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I think after the age of 3 you need to start covering up and teaching privacy issues so that they know that, that part of themselves is a very private thing so no one will take advantage of them.

Colleen - posted on 06/13/2011

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I think we need to be careful what our children see at a certain age. I have read most of the posts and cannot believe most of you think it is okay to let your older children see you naked. Would we let a boy look at a naked women in a magazine? what is the difference? A boys mind is forever changed by what he see's at a young age. I think we need to teach our children that our bodies are private and that we should give each other privacy. Girls should not see their father naked as we would not want them to think this is normal each child should feel that their private parts are private and to be kept private by covering them up. Sorry feel very strongly on this subject our children minds are so affected by what they see and remember, I know my husband said his mother did that once and it bothered him but he didn't react so just because your children don't react to you being naked doesn't mean they don't think it strange or feel uncomfortable with it. So I would suggest you stop and cover up before you leave the washroom or put a robe on and change in your room. There are molesters out there and if your chldren think it normal for you or your husband to be naked then what would they think if some creepy molester decides to take his/ her clothes off they will think oh well Mommy and Daddy do this also so maybe its normal.

Alison - posted on 06/12/2011

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My daughter is 19 months and is still BF at night....she has now realized that mommy and daddy have different parts and is curious and likes to look while we shower or go "pee pee". She still co-showers with me, but not with daddy,as she likes to touch and point at body parts, and give kisses. She is around both of us while we are getting dressed, or going to the bathroom. She is a little too curious about daddy's parts with touching/poking that it makes him uncomfortable, so she doesn't shower with him

Jennifer - posted on 06/08/2011

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My son is 2.5 and the shower routine hasn't changed, he doesn't like it when I shut the door, plus I have to keep an eye on his younger brother.

Blackwood - posted on 06/08/2011

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Well I don't see the issue, I've always thought that when your child starts to show signs that they are uncomfortable or weirded out with it ( and I'm sure they will hit an age when they will)l then it's time to stop. I stil have baths with my son and he's 22 months old. I wouldn't worry about it.

Mel - posted on 06/08/2011

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My 2 and a half year old sees me naked and as I get out the shower I am just wearing a towel in front of my 2 eldest who are 11 and 13. I dont want them to think that its "dirty" to see a naked body. If you were a naturist it wouldnt even matter!!!

Lisa123 - posted on 06/08/2011

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I shower and bath with my 5 year old son and 3 year old daughter. It's no big deal! OH says now is probably the time to stop being naked in front of our son as he will have memories of it when he is older. Maybe I will in a year or so. I will have no hesitation of being naked in front of little girl - All girls together and same with OH being naked in front of our little boy - all guys together.
I think if you make a deal out of it and go out of your way to cover up that can make children feel insecure and sense theres something wrong with nakedness.
My son asked a long time ago about the differences between men and women and knows the anatomical bits and pieces and I think that's great! . . By all means teach him that peoples bodies are personal and private, not to run around naked outside of the house, not to touch or comment on other peoples bodies and to respect them but don't feel you should cover up out of your embarrassment especially in front of toddlers.

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