When will life with baby get better?

Amy - posted on 07/17/2012 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I think I have a high needs baby. He's 7 months old and I'm exhausted. I keep hoping things will calm down. When does it get better?

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Melissa - posted on 07/18/2012

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I have a 7 month old girl who is a pretty easy baby and a 3 year old girl who is still challenging to this day! I am still bf-ing every 2 hours all night long for the baby and the 3 yr old is still waking at night from dreaming! I found out by accident that getting up at least 30 to 1 hour before they do is a sanity saver. I was so tired the 1st day and crashed early. 2nd morning, I got ready as if I were going to leave the house even though I had no plans to. Got started on chores sooner than usual and later felt like I could relax and play with the kids some. That felt great! I realized it was waking up and having that hour to myself that gave me a sense of calm and collect and ability to think ahead vs. getting up because the kids are up and just responding to their needs before my own. Give that a try to see if that works for you too.

Stacie - posted on 07/22/2012

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It doesn't get better until they turn 4 years of age. Once they are less dependent on you for so much, things start to ease up. My children are 11 and 12 years old now and sometimes (believe it or not) I wish they still needed me more, but I can recall thinking when they were infants and toddlers that I wished they needed me less and that I would somehow get a normal life back. It never returns to "normal" but it does get easier around age 4 or 5. I'm sure that's not the answer you were hoping for, but it has been my experince with both of my children. One day you will look back and miss the days when they consumed all of your time and energy.

Sally - posted on 07/19/2012

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It depends on why he is high needs. He might get better next week or he might never. (Sorry I can't be more encouraging.)
My 8 year old was the mellowest baby ever. I thought I had this parenting thing down cold. HA! My 2 year old has health problems and I can't remember the last time I slept more than a couple hours at a stretch or did a chore without someone at least whining at me if not clinging to my leg. Most people I know with high needs babies (myself included) swear by baby wearing and co-sleeping. The more time he can spend attached to you during your downtime and/or with your hands still available, the less stressful both your lives will be.
Good luck

Tina - posted on 07/19/2012

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Hang in there, Mum. All 7 month old babies are "high needs", but I wonder what makes you say that yours is. Is he exhibiting strange behavior or needs? In any event, you need a break. Is there someoneyou can trust to give you the night off. You sound like you desperately need a nap and some down time. Babies have a way of slurping the life out of you. I also agree with Amber, having a routine and sticking to it helps. I did not do a routine with my daghter and we were both miserable. She was a high-maintenance child because of this. Just hang in there and know tht you are doing the best that you can, and that is good enough!

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User - posted on 07/21/2012

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Thanks for your comments everyone. My baby usually sleeps well through the night and takes long naps. I also had lots of help. But this month everything changed. My mom and two of my friends went on vacation, my young mother's group stopped for the summer. In addition, my son suddenly started waking up a lot earlier so I've been sleep deprived. He's so active and alert and always wants to be on the move, but isn't quite crawling yet, so it's a very challenging stage. I'm doing much better now because I've been able to get some more help from others recently and have had a chance to get out more this week. Thank you again.

Susan - posted on 07/21/2012

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I agree that routine is a life saver. I nannied for fifteen years before having three of my own, and everything that was said above is true. Babies need routine, and structure. And you benefit from their calmer state when they know what is happening. I used the Babywise method, to at least some portion with all three of my kids, and it worked great. I'm now nannying again for a five month old whose mom started that method two weeks ago after asking me for advice and she is feeling such relief as her son has started sleeping eight hour nights and taking longer naps (went from 30 minute naps to 90 minute naps after four days of trying it).

Shannon - posted on 07/19/2012

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Parenting an infant is exhausting and you have to take some time for yourself!! Even an hour at a coffee shop can really recharge your batteries. I know there have been many times where I felt like I was going to lose my mind, and having a little time to myself made such a big difference. I know it's hard to get away but you need to learn how to ask for it, because you are going to need it for a few years at least. My son is 3 1/2 and very easy, and I still crave time to myself every other day or so. I am a better and more patient, involved mom when I get the "me" time I need. Also, you might try finding a moms group in your area. You can get out of the house and talk with others who are going through the same thing. And socializing your baby is a good thing too :) It really does get better, but you have to listen to your body and try to keep yourself healthy and happy so you can be the best mommy you can be.

Marie - posted on 07/19/2012

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All I can say is...it does get better! Enjoy every exhausting moment! I have a 12 yr old, 10 yr old and 2 yr old. My first 2 made feel like I was cracking up, but then #3 came along and after hospital visits every couple days, a diagnosis of a chromosome disorder, now seeing 13 pediatric specialist at our local hospital, tube feeding, developmental delays...well...I have a whole new 'look on life'! Children are awesome and miraculous no matter what! Just enjoy every moment even the crappy ones. Cause just remember...it could be worst! I am thankful things are not worst or more complicated for us as I know other families face much more difficult situations.

Tina - posted on 07/19/2012

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Are you guys getting out of the house? For my husband (SAHD) that was number 1killer - when you try to keep them happy inside the house all day long it makes for a long miserable day! Babies are so portable - my girls have a predictable schedule - and we usually go some place fun or on errands in between naps.
I'd second that having routines makes life so much easier!

Alyn - posted on 07/18/2012

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My son, now 8 years old, was a very hard baby. I vaguely remember his first year. he was my first, so could focus just on him. I had no idea how hard I had it until I saw another baby the same age. I am curious as to exactly what you are experiencing. When he was 4, finally figured out he had Sensory Processing Disorder. If I knew that earlier I would have done a few things differently. BTW, I had the routine, planned all outings around naps, ect....

Brianna - posted on 07/18/2012

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i agree with the other ladies about having a really good routine. i found the first year is the hardest. but every age does have its challenges. is he sleeping threw the night??? if not i bet u will feel alot better once he starts sleeping threw the night. (you can check out the website sleepsense.net for tips)

Tracie - posted on 07/18/2012

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By 7 months, he should have a pretty predictable daily schedule of eating/napping. This was the #1 sanity saver for me when mine were infants.

Routine helps the baby's needs get met before they have to resort to crying. It also calms them down when they know what to expect. Routine makes them feel secure. An added benefit is that YOU know what to expect as well. This helps with planning errands, outings to the park, visits with friends, etc. You can go when you know your son will be happy, rested and fed.

It will get easier. Hang in there!!

Kendra - posted on 07/17/2012

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I'm sorry that I don't have any helpful advice. I can only commiserate. I have 7 month old twins and they are sucking the life out of me. People keep telling me that it will get better but it is only getting worse.

Determined - posted on 07/17/2012

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Having a set routine and sticking to it helps...A LOT! Have you tried that? It gets easier for a little bit then they become toddlers lol

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