when you decide to stope nursing for your own personal reasons how do you stope feeling guilty?

Shana - posted on 04/15/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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i have decided to stop nursing and i can't get the feeling that i'm abandoning her out of my head... i feel horrible...

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Shana - posted on 04/15/2010

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i formula feed both of my other babies but i started my third daughter on nursing because my husbands job was in jepardy.... i was very lucky with her though, started sleeping through the night at 4 weeks and still does and no allergies except with the coffee thing but that wasn't hard to give up... i just feel like this might be my last baby and don't want her to grow up... i am not producing enough for her and there are days were she just gets so mad cause she's hungry... i'm not starving her by any means i just think that it would be better for her for the constant growth and not being sick... my second daughter never got sick for the first year and was formula feed and than there's my third who is nursed and has had 2 colds and 2 bats of pink eye... very strange...thanks for everyones help...

Katie Pearl - posted on 04/15/2010

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Ok... ... why do you feel that it is time to stop... Are you feeling pressure in other parts of your life? Or do you really feel that it is time? Sometimes breastfeeding moms feel so much pressure from outside sources to "stop" that sometimes they are influenced subconciously to decide to ween their child. On the otherhand many women feel such a bond while breastfeeding their child that they become dependent on that connection and fear that when it is over they will loose that special bond.This is partially due to the changes that take place in your body when you are no longer breastfeeding. When your breastfeeding your body is still in mommy mode... That's why your uterus shrinks faster and you probley don't have a period.. Its natures birth control...Chemicals that were once happily flowing through your body are starting to diminish. Which is why you may be feeling sad and guilty. But if that's the case just give it some time and your hormones will level off and you will start to feel like your self again. I wasn't able to breastfeed my son more than two months.. I dried up and when it started to happen I was soo upset and the hormone thing made it worse, but within 2 weeks or so I started to feel better and less guilty for not breastfeeding my son. I hope this helps you to understand why you are feeling this way. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you feel better soon. xoxo

Nikki - posted on 04/15/2010

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my son has been strictly on formula since day one ( my milk never came in) I felt guilty but there was nothing I could do. He is now 10 months old and is one extremely healthy , happy , thriving little boy. He weighs 24lbs and is 33 inches tall. He has only been sick once, never was gassy, slept through the night at 4 weeks. He has reached all his milestones early ( really early). Formula is full of all the nutrients your baby needs and I can fully see he has flourished off of it. Yes breast feeding would have been nice , but I wasnt so lucky to be able to and to be honest Im happy that my son is formula fed I love that he is a big boy. I have seen the stress most of my gf's went through and the problems with their babies gaining weight and changing their diets constantly and the sleepless nights. All that mattered to me was that he was happy and after I realized just how much formula worked for him there was no reason to feel guilty. Stop listening to what anyone else says, you made a decision that was right for you and your baby. You are by no means abandoning her, there is no reason for you to think like that, you are still bonding while bottle feeding and she's getting fed , she won't know the difference.

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I nursed both of my children for 22 months and felt guilty each time I stopped. I think as they adjust to not having it, it gets easier. The feeling will go away and like Kristin said, find a similar way to spend quality time with her like reading an extra book or something where she has good eye contact or can be held close to you.

Kristin - posted on 04/15/2010

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Unless you are leaving her to fend for herself, you are not abandoning her. You are still going to feed her, just in a different manner. Perhaps as you wean her you can incorporate new way to bond//snuggle. While this is your personal time with her, she is more interested in the time with you than you as a food source.

If you need to stop, there is no shame or guilt to be felt. Best wishes.

Catherine - posted on 04/15/2010

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I felt the same way with my first son and when I had my second son i just decided not to breasfeed.

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