Where can I go with my kids?

Cleaver - posted on 03/13/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I am a stay at home mom and my husband threatened to hurt my 2YO and I have decided I want to end my relationship take my kids and go back home. But my mom is telling me that I should stay away for like a week and go back and see if things will change... I'm not sure that they will at all... I mean does it ever? I do feel bad because my sister and her lazy ass boyfriend are finally moving out and I am now wanting back in with 2 kids. Maybe I can stay there until I get on welfare and find a new place. I don't know what to do....

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Rachel - posted on 03/20/2013

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P.S. Statistically, step-parents and live ons are FAR more likely to abuse children. Not to mention the abuse children endure in daycare scenarios. Careful you aren't jumping from the frying pan to the fire. How are you going to take care of them?Read some daycare horror stories, and measure that against the weight of this "threat". maybe the threat was worse, but if you are going to break up a family over it, it better be worse than what's out there. Right now your kids have a stay at home mom. What a blessing!Don't jeopardize that lightly.

Rachel - posted on 03/20/2013

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I don't know... If your mom doesn't think you should leave him, maybe you are blowing this out of proportion. Kids make people crazy sometimes and separation is super drastic and traumatizing for kids. Yes, you should protect your kids from abuse, but if every marriage dissolved the first time someone threatened the kids, then not too many would be left. You and your Hubby need to talk.

Keri - posted on 03/17/2013

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I don't want to make light of anything you're saying, but what is this threat to hurt the child? Abuse is a serious thing, but if a comment out of frustration because the kid's screaming it's head off when he's trying his best it's a different story. Again, it's the size/instensity of this threat that should be your deciding factor. Do you know if he's done more than threaten?

Christine - posted on 03/16/2013

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If he threatened to hurt your kids yes it is your job to leave and protect them, of course it also depends on what you mean by hurt like if he just threatened to give a little spanking on the bottom then maby that would be a situation where you could just talk to him and explain that you do not want to discipline that way and that it is an issue for you and you could both come to an agreement. But if you feel they are threatened in any way or he actually threatened them or you in any way then yes you have to protect them you are their mother and they depend on you for protection and to keep them in a safe environment that is your #1 job. If you want to leave or need to leave there is always a way, where there's a will there's a way. Your kids come first worry about them rather that worrying about your inconveniencing your mother which by the way should have never given you that horrible advice to go back if he really did threaten your child. There is surely assistance you can get on where you live. You can get back on your feet and take care of your children, you don't have to have a man to take care of your kids you can do it women do it all the time. Do your research and get the assistance you need and find a way to save up your own money and you will be fine on your own. Yes it might take a little while to get on your feet but you can do it. You know whats best and what the right thing to do is, trust your instincts.

Jodi - posted on 03/15/2013

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You can't find a private therapist? If your marriage is important enough, surely there is a counsellor somewhere you can both talk to?

Cleaver - posted on 03/15/2013

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were on a waiting list theres only 1 english couples therapist at our free clinic and thers a long waiting list

Jodi - posted on 03/15/2013

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Have the two of you been to counselling at all to discuss your issues (of which there seem to be many)?

Ami - posted on 03/13/2013

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I am not sure where you live but I would get on an assistance housing list ASAP also get on welfare ASAP. I would suggest getting help with this there are a lot family assistant groups as well as women's assistance groups, they can guide you through this process. every state and even every area is different and the group can help you get through the red tape. Good luck you can do it and I am praying for you.

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