Where do I go from here?

Charlie - posted on 11/15/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I am 35 my husband is 45. We have a seven year old. I want to have another child and he says that he is to old. He also said that he is not telling me no, he just wants me to think about it. I know how I feel and what I want so where do I go from here? Thanks in advance for your comments.

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Michelle - posted on 11/16/2012

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I had my 3rd when I was 35 and my husband was 41.



I found it a lot harder on my body and there was a big difference from when I had my first 2 in my mid 20's. On the plus side I have found that I am more tolerant of her tantrums (she's now 2.5) than I was with the older 2. I also love spending time with her as I know she's my last one. I have enjoyed having her and don't regret it at all.

Lidiana - posted on 11/15/2012

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Wow this is something you should really think about it would be starting all over again if you have a baby.For him it means having a toddler when he is in his fifties and you guys would be 55 and 65 when the new baby heads off to college. But it's a decision that only you two can make,you guys must really sit down and do pros and cons and figure it out best of Luck :-)

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Karima - posted on 11/27/2012

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I just had my first child at the age of 37. My husband is 46 and is pushing me to have another baby soon. I'm the one who is still recovering from the first pregnancy and thinking about the second child. Frankly, I don't want my son to grow up and be lonely. On the other hand I keep saying we are old and should be retired by our late 60s not still waiting for kids to graduate from college. But I keep telling myself age is just a number. Anyway, Charlie it all depends on both of you. Good Luck!

Jennifer - posted on 11/27/2012

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It is definitely a decision that you both need to agree on. The concept of "older" parents never bothered me since my parents were older than my friends' parents. I am 41 years old and am 28 weeks pregnant with my third baby. My husband is 49. This pregnancy is definitely different since I am older, however, I am so thankful for the chance to have one more precious baby. If age is the only hang up...think how much more active and young the baby and your son will keep you :)

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you should tell him you have thought about it, also my uncle is a 40yr old father of a 1yr old and my other uncle is a 45yr old father of a 5 and 7yr old. My own dad who is 54 is so active with my kids that more then once he has been thought of as their dad. you should talk it out for sure no matter what.

Tracy - posted on 11/20/2012

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My husband and I had kids that were older (youngest 12 and oldest was 26) when our daughter came along. I was 30 and he was 45. I don't think we would have PLANNED it. We tried for her for so long but after years of infertility we decided to enjoy the fact that the kids were almost grown. Six months after this decision was made, I turned up pregnant with our daughter. It took a LOT of emotional adjusting but we really were over the moon about it from the first day. My husband was concerned about being older. He realizes he may not have the time with her that he has had with the other kids. But if you asked him if he would have wanted it differently? He would probably get pissed for suggesting his daughter not exist. He worships her! If the only hesitation for your husband is age, ask him to think about how young this could keep him. More active and whatnot. Age is a real consideration, but even if he was 25, there is no guarantee the time he would have with his children. The biggest consideration would be if things like retirement would have to be put off longer or whatnot... basically financial plans I suppose. Otherwise, it's a great adventure to "start all over again"!

Lidiana - posted on 11/16/2012

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Charlie I wish you the best in whatever decision you make. Three months sounds good maybe just let nature take it's coarse if it's meant to be it will happen. I do get the sibbling thing I have four kids and they kill teacher but again love teacher to death. I was an only child till I was about ten. Then the gap between my sis and I was so big it was like being an only child. Hope everything works out great have a wonderful weekend. :-)

Charlie - posted on 11/16/2012

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Michelle - I know what you are saying. I am more prepared if I have another baby this time around than I was when I had my son the first time around. I have saved everything...the crib, the swing, the playpen etc... and are fully equipped with toys. I recently had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. During those 6 weeks I was feeling the changes of my body and when the miscarriage happened everything just stopped (the changes). I am still upset over the whole thing (but I know these things happen for a reason). This was a surprise pregnancy for the both of us, but yet we were really happy and getting excited about it. I can try again in 3 months if this is what we decide to do...? I do know if I did have another one this would be my last. I am certain of that. I am right now confused and do not want to be selfish with my decision without first considering his thoughts....

Charlie - posted on 11/16/2012

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My dad and mom were about this age when I headed off to college. I understand what you are saying as well as what he is saying. If we are going to have another its best not to waste any more time in deciding than we have too. I am giving myself a window of 3 months to make a decision if we are going to go for it or not. I really want my son to have a sibling.

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