Who gets the night shift?

[deleted account] ( 9 moms have responded )

I am now 7 months pregnant, and working full time. But after our little girl is born, i will be going back to working 2 days a week while my fiance will be working full time 5 days/week. I know he works hard and i'll be working hard at home, so how do you keep the strain of who does what at home to a minimum? How do we both stay happy?


Brean - posted on 06/21/2010




im a stay at home mom/full time student and my husband is a federal agent, it was easy to decided who got the night shift since, if I am late to school or miss, I can always catch up, if he is late to work or groggy at work, his life is on the line. decided by weighing who can be or afford to be a little more tired in the am.

[deleted account]

My husband works full time Mon-Fri. He leaves the house at 6am and returns at 5pm. He always helps out when he can and obviously at weekends but I have done all the nightshift as it's only fair as he has to get up early in the morning. However, this doesn't apply anymore as Logan has been sleeping through for a while now.

Talk about it now so that you are on the same level as it will be much harder to negotiate when the bay arrives and tiredness sets in! =]

[deleted account]

At our home it's who's working less (me) who takes over the primary responsiblity of feeding, bathing, etc. But it's with the understanding that I ask for help when I need (or want) it for whatever reason. My DH ends up getting breakfasts and helping with bedtime routine when he can...but he works up to 75 hours a week, including occasional night shifts, and is finishing school.

Just talk through what will work for you, and be flexible to change after the baby comes and you'll do great. :)


View replies by

Portia - posted on 08/28/2014




Try to remind him you're a team... Working at home and at the office is just the same except he gets paid and you're not. ... Sigh in my own case, i wish my hubby would consider this advise... He just dozes off to dreamland at night!

Portia - posted on 08/28/2014




Hi... For the past 2 years ive been on the night shift with our baby girl now 2 years old... From waking up every one to 2 hours to only once or twice at night to feed her.... And by morning i go to work full time with my husband and leave our baby to our nanny... When i got pregnant again last year, i still take the night shift and go to work full time.... After giving birth last may, hubby helped me for two weeks since i got a c section then after that im back full time doing night shift again, waking up every 1 to 2 hours at night, take care of the baby boy whole day, play with baby girl and attend to her needs.... I just returned to work last august 6 working again 9 hours a day with 2 hours travel time... Still. I do the night shift full time... My eyes are red every day... Im tired... My breastmilk somewhat starts to diminish even if i continue to pump at work... Im so sad! Even on weekends i take care of babies full time! I ask help from hubby at night, he just nods n goes back to sleep. Help!

Alison - posted on 06/22/2010




I do all of the night shifts....he plays and helps out when he can. the weekends are his time with the children. If I am too stressed he will do a night shift. Saturdays I sleep in.. Sundays he sleeps in.

Jessica - posted on 06/22/2010




i have always done the night shift. my daughter is 7 months old and i have only asked her daddy to get up with her once threw the night. but seeing as how i am not working and he is, it just seemed obvious that i would do it...however we do have it set up so that i get to sleep in atleast one day on the weekend, because i get up early and dont get breaks like he does. but he also gets to sleep in one day on the weekends. he also does the bath atleast one night a week, preferably two, that way i get a break from bath time, cuz its the most exhausting part of my day!!! but when our daughter was born he was working nights and thats how it ended up being that way for the most part. hes going back to nights starting tonight, so it still just makes sense....but im not sure how much of what i just said makes sense lol

Louise - posted on 06/22/2010




my husband and I always did the same thing for all three of our kids. When the babies were newborns my husband did the Friday and Saterday night shift and I did the rest. This gave me at least two nights sleep a week and if I was having a particular rough night he would get up as well. I used to go to bed about 10 and he would stay up to the next feed weather it was due at 11, 12 or 1 feed them and go to bed and I would do the others through the night. This worked really well as I was guaranteed at least 6 hours solid sleep. My husband also got 7-8 hours sleep this way so we were both as knackered as one another. I did not work when the babies were small so I could if I needed to have a nap in the day.

Jawaka - posted on 06/22/2010




With our last son, baby #5, I would stay up until 1a which is just a little after his last evening feeding and the baby would wake up at around 4:30-5a so my husband would just get up a little early and handle that feeding with pumped milk and take the baby downstairs with him and do his routine and put the baby back to bed if I hadn't woken up yet. I didn't have to ask him however because he saw how exhausted I was on day 2.
Now you can talk to your husband and have a plan in place that is changeable due to everyone's needs.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms