Why are pre-teens so B**chy???

Sherry - posted on 09/01/2009 ( 46 moms have responded )

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I have an 11 yr old daughter, she's 5 ft. 7 in., wears a size 11 women's shoe!! Obviously, big for her age..lol. She recieved her "monthly friend" last yr., and boy, does she get moody!! You would think she was an older woman with the sensitivity issues & mood swings!! I feel like she is slipping away from me... This yr. she started middle school & I'm afraid she will bring her PMS attitude to school with her & end up friendless or something. Why, at this age, are the girls so b**chy??

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Shaylee - posted on 04/18/2013

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um tell her to go do something relaxing like swimming (but don't forget a tampon) lol! and let her have just a little but of freedom with her friends keeping her cooped up wont help!

Debwitter - posted on 10/23/2012

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We all know the havoc hormones play at this age, but what is not promoted is how much calcium and magnesium is needed for this age. I have experimented with cal-mag powder drink with my tween and it is like a light switch being turned off. Amazing stuff. I even gave it to her one morning and it really helped calm her down. Per medical studies the requirements for this supplement are out the roof at this age of growth.



http://www.naturalnews.com/021621_childr...



http://www.nutraingredients.com/Research...

User - posted on 09/24/2010

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My daughter is ten. She started her period at 8. This morning was the worst morning ever. Psycho PMS. I had a hysterectomy at 29 because my PMS was always so bad. I would feel like a zombie and have bad mood swings. That is what I was dealing with this morning. She was tardy for school cause I couldn't get her to do everything she does on a day to day basis. It was completely horrible and by the time I drove her to school she was put on restriction for the entire next week due to this severe pms episode. Lord help me. On top of everything she is irregular again which only amplifies the pms. The doctor told me if her hormones don't get regulated soon he may have to put her on something. I'm assuming that's birth control at ten! I think it's the hormones in the food. Chicken farms are feeding baby chicks huge amounts of hormones so they grow faster and they sell quicker and then our kids are eating them.

Sredvay - posted on 09/14/2009

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Preteens (and teens) can be a nightmare age. You become the stupidest most unimportant person on earth at times. The only thing that got me through my oldest was remembering the child psychology classes from college and working in a pediatricians office to see that it wasn't me or just my child. It, thankfully, will pass. Then with the next two and currently the forth teenager, I can look to my older, loving children, who have passed the faze.

Like others have said, it is not an excuse to be rude and disrespectful. Pick your battles and make them important. She may have crazy hormones, but she is still responsible for her behavior.

GOOD LUCK. Prayer and Patience is the key.

Peggy - posted on 09/14/2009

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Pre teens are bitchy because of hormone changes in their body. The best way to keep her from using this as an excuse for pms complaints ETC. is to teach her to keep exercising and doing her regular thing activity wise. Just because you excrete blood once a month doesnt mean you change your lifestyle and movement. I mean you of course cant swim and stuff. But then too you need to remember that if she complains too much she may need to see a doctor as she may have a abnormality. Lots of luck. Peggy

Tiffany - posted on 09/13/2009

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My daughter is 11 also and always moody. And so emotional. I don't know what to do for her either. She's so bossy to her friends and I think a lot of it has to do with the way I was when I was her age. I remember being that age. And I see that she has a lot of the same "issues" that I did growing up. But I try and be as patient with her as I can and try to help her realize that when she behaves that way that no one wants to be around her. It's a daily struggle. But one day at a time. It's hormones and I just try and let her know that I love her and she can come talk to me about anything.

Tina - posted on 09/07/2009

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Quoting Dana:



Quoting Lisa:




Quoting Dana:

Ha! LOL can I come to your house that week? JK








I'll have the coffee on.










Awesome!!  I like it good and strong.... just a little italian sweet cream please..  :)





 

Skittles - posted on 09/07/2009

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I know what youare going through.Trying being in my shoes, My DD is 8 and is already starting to hit puberty. She tells me she has cramps and that her chest is tender. She is also bipolar and hormonal from the change. Some days i just want to lock her in her room till shes 18 lol.The thought of her having her period in 2nd grade scares me but it does run in the family

Cmquist - posted on 09/07/2009

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Sounds like my daughter, what is extra hard on my hubby it coincides with my pms.

Jennifer - posted on 09/05/2009

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Good question. My daughter is the same way. I can tell when her monthly friend is here also. She is sooo snappy with you and you just want to runaway and scream lol. I blame all the b**chiness on the PMS. My daughter has had hers ofr 2 years and over time it has gotten better. Hang in there.

Kymberly - posted on 09/05/2009

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You aren't alone in this process!!! My 13 yr.old is the same way. can't wail til 18,

Lindsey - posted on 09/04/2009

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bcuz they are becoming more independent and hormonal changes are taking place my 10 yr old is behaving the same way i hate it but what really can we do it might be wrong but i live on a farm and i just give her more work to do when she goes off and then reward her with an adult task and so far its working for us i do allow her to voice her oppinion on y shes angry or rude with one on one time with her in her room and she does well with it shes comunnicating instead of b::::: now my big prob is when shes with her friends she bcomes a nightmare as a matter of fact they are all that way but as soon as they leave she bcomes a really great kid again hope this helps and good luck

Heather - posted on 09/04/2009

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Quoting Dana:

Thanks Sherry! I have tried those things... right now,.. we dont hav tv. We usually dont during the school year.. just too much of a distraction. She is grounded from the computer.. has been for almost a month.. she has about 4 days left before she can get back on. That is the only thing she does outside of haingout out with her friend (Kaden). She doesnt have a cell phone.. there really isnt anything I could take away???? now what?



Don't let her see her friends..



Right now my daughter is on restriction because she is behind in her reading..our deal is everything must be done before fun.. I told her last night she couldn't do anything until her reading was finished. She just asked me if she could have a friend over.. My answer, is your reading done? No, well then what do you think? I got a couple excuses on but why can't I do it later, but I stuck to my guns and she is now in her room reading...It is all about consistency..if you say it mean it and stick to it.. If you don't what you say means nothing.

Heather - posted on 09/04/2009

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Quoting Dana:

My 11yr old is not just moody..... she know how to turn it on and off depending on who is arround. she is just b**chy with EVERYONE all the time ... seems like unless she wants something... manipulative? oh yeah.. she is down right hateful... and no my 9 year old is starting to pick it up.. I need help too... and fast. I am afraid if I dont get a handle on her now... as she is just started middle school.. by the time this year is over.. we are all gonna be in trouble...



Sounds like she needs to be on restriction... If me daughter isn't doing what she suppose to do or is being rude we send her to her room, with nothing (TV, cell phone,ect) she has to right us an essay on why she shouldn't do what she is doing and what she should be doing and why she should do it..I hope that makes sense.  I always have a discusion with her before hand and tell her why she has to do this..it helps a lot. They also don't like it, but it is a constructive way to help them learn why and why not to do things. Plus, it helps their writing skills.

Heather - posted on 09/04/2009

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My daughter is 12 and one day she just changed big time..I didn't know what to do, but I figured Aunt Flow was on its way..sure enough the next day. It has been a strugle, but I always try hard to remeber how it was for me..
We do have young women with sensitivity issues and mood swings, just like we are on ours I'm sure..We need to remeber that this is all new to them and be senstive to that. They are going through a major life change. They are going to be spacey, arrgumentitive and moody..It sucks but that is what we have to deal with as parents...Talked with her one on one, just you two...see if she has any ? Let here know that you are there..As for her friends, I wouldn't worry at this age, all of them are going through the same thing, and they usually get along well with thier friends, it is us that became stupid...

Alicia - posted on 09/04/2009

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Try Midol with her and be patient with her just don't push to hard on her...Its new to her and prolly scary. Just remembering back to when I had mine.

Susan - posted on 09/04/2009

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You are going to believe this but HORMONES! I do have a solution for you though. My daughter is 15 and went thru the crying jags etc...btchy etc etc.....then she started to train for her high school sports team. I started her on Cinch protein drink (which is soy based) and have seen an amazing difference in her behavior. I think the natural estrogen in the soy has helped. She doesn't cry or rage or btch...and her skin has also cleared up.

You can get the Cinch from Shaklee. If you are interested in trying it just message me and I will give you the website information.

Good luck.
Susan

[deleted account]

Thanks for the heads up ladies! My daughter is 11 and just started middle school! My son is 19 I don't remember him being so moody! I guess girls are harder to raise at the point?

Dana - posted on 09/04/2009

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Quoting Lisa:



Quoting Dana:

Ha! LOL can I come to your house that week? JK






I'll have the coffee on.






Awesome!!  I like it good and strong.... just a little italian sweet cream please..  :)

Sherry - posted on 09/03/2009

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Jackie, I agree. I am the one who has never used it as an excuse. Pain happens, deal with it. But, she is not me & different ppl handle pain in different ways. I don't let her use it as an excuse to be a smart a** by any means. I do not tolerate back talk & all that mess. I just wish I could help her more with the pre teen moodiness. All I can do is talk to her & be there for her... what any mom should/would do.

Deborah - posted on 09/03/2009

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Don't worry she will be fine. Just be there for her and make sure she know she can talk to you about anything. And when she does come an talk to you, don't get mad help her get through it. You will want her to come too you for information instead of her friends. I have a nineteen year old and it was times I did not think I would make it but we did. :)

Dana - posted on 09/03/2009

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I have 4 girls at home and 3 of them have started in the last 6 months! My youngest girl is a drama queen anyway... not looking forward to when its her turn! LOL their ages are 12, 11, 10, and 9..... yea.. its a lot of fun at my house that week! :)

Muse - posted on 09/03/2009

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Love her unconditionally and remember this is just a season of her life that will pass.

Nydia - posted on 09/03/2009

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Mine is 13 and small for her age but the moodiness is here all the same and its all I can do to calmly point out when she is being "inappropriate" with me and others. I've observed her with her friends in youth group at the church and they all have their mood swings. The "girl drama" is amazing but they bounce back to "best friends" in minutes. Its all part of growing up.

Jackie - posted on 09/03/2009

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I think there are two types of women in the world. Those who use PMS as an excuse for poor behaviour and those who try their best to keep PMS under check. That being said I'm one of those women with real PMS who do their best to keep it in check. I know plenty of women who use PMS as an excuse for their rudeness!! You know the type who are rude, moody and irrational 365 days a year but the week before their periods they always say "Oh well i'm PMSing". If its true PMS; you won't realize until you are out of the situation, calmed down or even started your period... and then you will be saying sorry to everyone and meaning it! That being said, I believe as mothers its our jobs to teach out children, teenagers and grown children how to control their emotions and moods.



EVERYTHING is a choice in this world despite hormones and changes. So when she is starting, nicely point it out to her and talk to her about how she can make the choice to be moody and rude or she can try her best to keep those feelings to herself because they aren't hers to push on to other people. Remember to have the talk when she isn't being out of hand also. Best to start the conversation when she is calm and relaxed. She might be hurt by the conversation at first but better hurt for a moment by your mother then hurt for life because you can't make it in this world because of your attitude.

Donnette - posted on 09/02/2009

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I have a 13 yr. old girl who has grown rapidly in the last 3 yrs. Her monthly came when
she was 10. Been lucky so far, we usually miss each other by the a week. She can get snappy, especially at her younger bro. I just tell her she is being a little too snappy
and she says sorry. She just got the phase of " I can't get out of my own way'. I keep
reminding myself, that she growing real fast and things need to catch up with her. I know that I will lose her for awhile and it will hurt both us but everyone one moms
have gone through the same thing. Good luck.

Sherry - posted on 09/02/2009

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Dana... make her do housework & yardwork. Anything she dislikes!! It sux to torture them, but they torture us too. lol. Tit for tat! Your very welcome!

Dana - posted on 09/02/2009

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Thanks Sherry! I have tried those things... right now,.. we dont hav tv. We usually dont during the school year.. just too much of a distraction. She is grounded from the computer.. has been for almost a month.. she has about 4 days left before she can get back on. That is the only thing she does outside of haingout out with her friend (Kaden). She doesnt have a cell phone.. there really isnt anything I could take away???? now what?

Sherry - posted on 09/02/2009

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Dana... that's no good. Just remember to pick & choose your battles with her. Let the little things like: rolling the eyes, go sometimes. I've found that if I constantly nag at her about the eye rolling, or her room, & so on... it defeats the purpose. Now, if I tell her "clean your room", then I go check it & it's not done (half assed), she looses 20 minutes of t.v. or whatever it is she's wanting to do at that time. With my daughter, the t.v. thing kills her. If she give's a smart ass answer to my question, I try to talk to her about it, but if it continues, she looses t.v. Taking what they love seems to work. It may be harsh, but it's worked for me! Goodluck!!

Sherry - posted on 09/02/2009

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Yeah, I do agree that it just comes with age, but man.. when she get's that "monthly friend"... she's a Mega B**ch!! LOL. I'm the complete opposite. All I can do is continue to be there for her I guess. lol. Thanks so much Teka, very sweet! I try to live life with humour..if not, I'd be in a looney bin by now..lol. J/k. That's my motto: Laugh, even when you want to cry!

Dana - posted on 09/01/2009

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My 11yr old is not just moody..... she know how to turn it on and off depending on who is arround. she is just b**chy with EVERYONE all the time ... seems like unless she wants something... manipulative? oh yeah.. she is down right hateful... and no my 9 year old is starting to pick it up.. I need help too... and fast. I am afraid if I dont get a handle on her now... as she is just started middle school.. by the time this year is over.. we are all gonna be in trouble...

Teka - posted on 09/01/2009

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lmao You guys are killing me here! I so relate!!! My daughter is 13 and seems to be especially moody... but ALL the time! haha I think that it's not only the horomones, but just being a teen. I have other girlfriends with teen daughters and their girls are the same way. Everything is OMG!!!! it's the end of the world and nothing is fair! I, like you Sherry, tend to find humor in everything. I just take a step back and have to laugh at how nuts they can be sometimes.

Sherry - posted on 09/01/2009

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Oh I know... I also have a 14 yr old boy, he's my oldest, who just started high school. He lives with his dad during the week, so fortunately most of my time with him is good, but I know all about the boys mood's as well. LOL! Boys hormones compared to girls... no comparison! LOL. He get's real quiet & seems like he has a million secrets, but with boys, I've learned, if you talk about what THEY wanna talk about, they will open up just like a girl!

Sherry - posted on 09/01/2009

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LOL... I'm glad someone else "get's it"! I agree, when you both get it, it is no picnic. I, too, have another daughter, thank goodness she's only 3 & I have a little gap in between...lol. Yup, sizee 11 womens, shoe shopping for appropriate shoes for a middle schler was very difficult this yr. I can imagine it will only get harder as she continues to grow. What do you do when yours goes thru them mood swings?

Kelly - posted on 09/01/2009

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Oh, ya'll, it might not help much to know it, but boys are the same way! Even without the "friend" to deal with, they go through a year or so (mine hit it at 12 and 13), when apparently their hormones are whacko, because they are just so moody! Nothing pleases them, esecially not their parents or siblings, and they are touchy about everything. Thank goodness it passes and they start turning into wonderful young men, but that time of beginning puberty is not fun. Now I have two girls to dread going through it with (7 and 3). I figure by the time they "get" their hormones, maybe I'll be all through with mine LOL!!

[deleted account]

OMG Sherry, I am so with you here. I have a 10 yr old girl, but she doesnt look like any 10 yr old you've ever seen... well maybe she does, lol. She got her "friend" a month before her 10th birthday, and has been one big mood swing ever since. size 11????? and I though 8.5 was big. I am just being as patient as possible, which I must say isnt easy especially when both "friends" are in town, and dreading the day when my 7 yr old gets to that age too.

Sherry - posted on 09/01/2009

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I have read books, talked to her physician, and mostly I talk to her about it. I just don't want her usinh PMS as an excuse to be a b**ch. lol. Or again, I'm scared she will carry that attitude to school with her. It doesn't JUST have to do with PMS though, she's kinda moody alot. I don't become impatient with her by any means... shoot, I know what it was like to be 11 once...NO FUN! LOL! I use laughter to the root of all my evil, it helps.

[deleted account]

Biological changes (hormones). Read what ever you can on the subject. Patience is something we learn from raising our children. :-)

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