Why can I not stop yelling and be more affectionate to my children!?

Kristen - posted on 07/20/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I feel like the worst mother ever! I actually feel as if I'm turning into my own mother, which I've tried to stead clear of doing. For some reason, I find Ijt hard to be affectionate with my two oldest children. They are 6 and 5. Boy and girl. My son, 6, just doesn't respect me at all. He doesn't listen, he is selfish and very lazy. Their father and I haven't been together over 2 years now. He was abusive mentally and physically and also had an addictions problem. I'm in a new relationship with the live of my life. We have a 16 month old and I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant. They absolutley love logan, my fiance, but my son seems very anxious all the time, and almost like he doesn't like me. I scream and yell because I just don't feel cut out to be a lllkother of 3 and now 4. Idk what to do and iI'm very embarrassed.

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Cutemommy - posted on 07/22/2015

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Your son might be feeling left out and missing you I think you taking just the older kids out for dinner and a movie with give you time to bond with them without distractions. It will give them the opportunity to tell you how they are feeling you can casually ask them what they miss, want, and need from you. You can also speak to them about what you need from them. It wont be easy but a few dinner dates with them should help. Im sure your bf wouldn't mind looking after the baby so you can get some quality time in with your children.

Cristina - posted on 07/21/2015

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Lots of nanny 911 episodes deal with similar situations. You might find it useful to see how they deal with it. Maybe it will help you.

Kelli - posted on 07/20/2015

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I can understand how you could feel overwhelmed. I am in a new marriage as well and have a blended family. You should never feel embarrassed about trying to be a good mother and especially if it not going so well. You are a good mother because you are trying... calling out for help... trying to make it better and this shows you really care about how you raise your children.That is awesome! Have you thought maybe about trying to spend special time one on one with your older children? Try to find time with each of them once a week individually and /or for 30 minutes each day....special time, one on one...no interruptions and something they enjoy.....Your child is just needing his mommy just for him...and yes, it is hard for a 2-5 year old child to share your attention. Also try to find ways your older kids can get involved with your younger children and feel important helping you.....They just want to know their presence matters too. Make clear expectations about good behavior and bad behavior and have consequences for the bad. Even if it means the naughty behavior chair, or losing a toy over and over again...only YOU can demand respect from your child by your stern expectations, but it doesn't have to be yelling. When you feel yourself losing it.....take 5 minutes step away (put him in time out first) If he gets up... put him back over and over again....isolating him is exactly the opposite of what he wants...It will be hard to hear him cry ...and yell, but be consistent EVERY TIME HE BEHAVES BADLY....Be sure to let him know his BEHAVIOR IS BAD NOT THAT HE IS BAD!....I hope this helps....hang in there...You are blessed.

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