Why do we give up our power?

Christine - posted on 03/30/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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After reading through some questions and posting some answers...it is amazing to me, that some woman are giving up their power in a relationship. I never thought being a stay at home mom, made me less strong or more vulnerable to a man. Different...yes. I have seen this before with aunts, sisters, friends, etc....why do we do this?

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Bethanie - posted on 03/30/2010

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Mandy: That is not a proper or good relationship with your husband! I would advise some counseling! Having to ask for money and he plays "the money" card? That's just ridiculous. Does he not realize how wonderful and beneficial it is for you to be able to be home with your children, raising them yourself and not by strangers and not to mention, saving "HIS" money on daycare costs! He needs a good smack! ;)

Sorry, off subject! As for me, my husband doesn't always help me around the house as much as I would LIKE (though he does make a concerted effort) and I don't always feel 100% appreciated or respected (not because of anything he says, or lack there of) BUT he can't say a damn thing about me not doing anything! He just got back from a 6 month deployment and I raised our son BY MYSELF! He may make the bucks, but I'm making sure our son is well fed, brought up right and our home and personal things are taken care of. To him, I'm an invaluable asset to our marriage! We still make ALL decisions together and I've even told him NO when he wants to purchase something that I don't think will be good for our budget. So, no, I haven't given up any of my importance or power in our relationship!

Jane - posted on 03/31/2010

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we're moms - we are the ones w/the most power. the key is to not let them in on it.

Rebecca - posted on 03/30/2010

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I think it is a problem with the way society looks at stay at home mom's. We are considered less then. I get the what do you do question all the time. When I say I stay at home the usual response is, "Oh". There is this myth that we stay at home do nothing and complain all about our hard days. I have been both a working mother and one that works in the home. My husband, like most men, doesn't understand all the in's and out's of the home. He doesn't realize what it takes to raise 5 kids, take care of the home (inside and out), the animals, pay the bills, cook, get the kids to and from... It truely is a 24/7 job. I don't think that we just give up our power. I choose to give the real power to my Lord. I know He will take care of me and my kids. He is faithful and true.

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Denese - posted on 03/31/2010

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I have seen some post that could be thought of as giving away power but then I remember, I don't know these moms, nor their struggle, or their pain and hardships. Its not upon me to judge whether or not they have given up their power, or just struggling and looking for advice, for which this cite was made. So I guess I don't have an answer for your question. To all the mom out their, Stay strong and keep your head up. :-)

Brittany - posted on 03/31/2010

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I love being able to stay home with my child, my husband and I decided together it would be the best for the whole family! My husband was actually the one who thought it would be the best option, save us money in child care and allow our son to have his mom around. He knows my job never ends and he trys to help when he can!

Jeni - posted on 03/30/2010

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I dont feel powerless at all, My partner works out of the house and i work inside the house.
Having a child shows you how powerful a woman really is.

Nikki - posted on 03/30/2010

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I don't feel that applies to my relationship, however it is a very broad subject matter, do you have any specific examples?

Mandy - posted on 03/30/2010

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I think becoming a stay at home mom has totally robbed me of my power. I spend day in and day out fighting for my power in my relationship. My husband used to treat me as an equal until I started staying home with the kids....now he thinks since he makes the dough he's got all the power. Its actually having a huge impact on our marriage, we fight a lot and when we fight (even if its not about money) he plays the money card......tells me to get the hell out and pay my own way or threatens to not give me any money......he keeps everything in his name so I have to ask him for money if I need it. I'm working on getting a part time job to see if that helps the situation and if not then unfortunately I'm going to have to decide if this is something I'm willing to deal with for the long term (not likely) because he's not the type to compromise.

Natalie - posted on 03/30/2010

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I know i don't do it. My husband brings home the pay check but everything else i do. And in our relationship we try to stay equal, make shared decisions etc.

I come from a strong family with strong women. I don't take crap from no one, lol.

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