Why dosnt the daughter in law have .....

Lynn - posted on 11/27/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Why isnt the daughter in law expected to cut the apron strings with her mother like a man is ?

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Fit2BMe - posted on 11/28/2012

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This sounds like it could potentially be a loaded question with a lot of emotion behind it, so I will keep my answer simple and try to tread lightly.



I guess it depends on how one would define "cutting the apron strings."

No parents should be over-involved in their grown children's lives or marriages. A parent would need to ask themselves why they would even want to be.

However, even "over involved" is a rather subjective term.

Regardless though, parents would do well to remember what it was like to be the young couple, and the younger parents. To understand the desire a couple has to carve out their own identity, make their own traditions, establish themselves as an individual family. This can be very difficult for older parents who may be experiencing empty nesting, a change in identity, or loneliness when no longer feeling needed by their kids. However, the highest of compliments is that one has raised their kids in such a way that their kids are independent, confident, and have essentially outgrown them. Relationships change. It's not that the mother in law isn't valued anymore, its that it becomes more of a peer role and a background supportive role.

In my experience, and seeing many other couples, the less pushy a parent is, and the more space they give their married children, as well as the more respectful and honouring they are of the fact that their children's spouse does and should be first priority in their lives, the more they are welcomed in.

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