Wonder mom complex... HELP ME!

Kristina - posted on 11/09/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have three daughters ages 3,2, and 1 and a 2 month old son. I've been a stay at home mom from day one. I've always been a bit of a perfectionist, but now I've become one of those moms that people want to smack because they seem to have it all figured out: the house is spotless, the kids are in activities, mommy looks like she spent 2 hours getting pretty, home cooked meals from scratch, perfectly planned EVERYTHING... but I am exhausted, feel out of control and am about to cry because i can't keep this up! I know that i should just let go of thigns but i can't do it! Can someone save me from myself!?


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Becky - posted on 11/10/2009




Give yourself a break! You can't do it all, especially with that many kids. Choose just one thing to let go at a time, maybe that won't be so overwhelming. I had to lower my standards a lot when my daughter came along and even more with two kids. And you know, I don't miss it, the perfectionist life. My kids will thank me for loving them and playing with them and being a WHOLE mom, not for having a clean house etc. Have you ever tried a MOPS group.. a great place to get away and share with other moms your frustrations. You can search for one in your area at MOPS.org. We can't save ourselves, we need the Lord and the support of other moms in our community to get through mothering. Thanks for reaching out with your question. I can tell you are burned out. Hope you find the help you need to share your heart and find a hug.

Carolee - posted on 11/10/2009




Once a week, treat yourself. Have your husband or somebody stay with the kids and just do whatever you want to do. It could be time away to take a bubble bath, or go to a store to find a new shirt, or just drive around either in silence (for once) or blaring your favorite type of music. Whatever you do, don't feel like you HAVE to do every little thing yourself. Delegate some responsibility to others. I have my son (2 years old) put the dishes in the sink and throw away trash that gets scattered through the house. He also helps me pick up his toys and hands me the mail when it comes. He tries to help me vaccuum, as well, but I usually end up accidentally bumping his head on the handle... my arms are quite a bit longer than his. Just remember to take care of yourself first, because if you have a breakdown, the whole house does as well. (Mondays are my "days off", and it is an extreme stress reliever to know that I don't have to worry about ANYTHING the entire day... except playing with my son when I want to.)

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