work and daycare

User - posted on 11/11/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I stay at home and I love it. We are making it one one check, but sometimes it is hard, and we just can not afford to go out at times and with Christmas coming up its tight trying to gets gifts for everyone. I am so thankful to be able to stay home and I really want to remain home. I always envisioned for myself that once I had a child, I wouldn't work anymore (my job would be with my children), I would take care of home, errands, etc as I do now, I would do all school activities when that time comes, and hopeful to have more children to take care of. I feel that is my role in my family and i truly cant see myself any different.
When my hubby and i talk about when my son goes to school he says yea you'll be able to go back to work. I haven't said anything yet, but I am soon, I just need time to think before I talk to him. I am not sure on how he will react. But deep down I do not want to. Don't get me wrong, I am not too lazy to work or anything but I want to be the homemaker and care taker of my children, I do not like the idea of other people taking care of my children, and when I do the numbers on roughly how much I would be making at work, I would not be bringing anything home after daycare, gas etc.
Its just my hubby does not make a lot and he is not really looking for a new job. Hes quite complacent where he is, and for him to be the provider in the family, I do not feel good to ask him to find a job that makes more, when I do not make the money myself. I dont want to be the decision maker, but for him to be, if you understand. He has tried to get on one place that pays well (a yr or so ago), but he did not pass the test after the interview, which stunk, but since then he hasnt tried, Im afraid he is discouraged in trying again, and no matter what I say it would change his attitude towards it. I want what is best for our family and I feel for him to make more would be the solution to our financial situation. Im just not sure on how to go about it.
Any suggestions on how you would go about this??

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Melissa - posted on 11/11/2013

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Hey Stacy,
I completely understand where your coming from. My husband and I always joke we were born in the wrong era. I like you love being home with my son and cleaning and cooking for my husband, it was always my dream in some kind of weird way. I also understand it's really tough to be able to do that these days so I just found a job that I can do from home. I'm able to do everything I ever wanted to do with my family but still help with the finances! My husband is in the trades so for him to find a new job that pays more isn't easy out here for us and I'm not sure he would have much luck at it. If you want to continue to stay home maybe explain that to your husband and as a team you guys could figure out a way to make it possible. My husband has applied to a lot of places in a whole different field then he works in and just seems to not be able to make the cut, I know it devastates him and he feels like he can't provide so I'm sure your husband feels similar and just doesn't want to disappoint you or let you down. I don't know those are just some thoughts! Good luck, I know this is a touchy subject!

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User - posted on 11/11/2013

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Thanks Melissa, glad someone understands. Your right he prob. doesnt want to let us down. Its just a hard conversation and if you say something not in the right way, they take it totally wrong! I sure hope he comes to an agreement fairly quick lol. Some times he does make a point that he is the one making money and I dont think he is trying to make me feel bad, I guess just wanting more recognition, but it does make me feel awful that I dont bring an income. I would love to make money also from home, I wouldnt feel so dependent ya know. I havent had any luck yet but Ill keep searching

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