Worried about possibly going back to work....

Jennifer - posted on 02/12/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Does anyone have any suggestions or words of wisdom for me. I'm a mother of 11 month old twins and I'm having panic attacks about the thought of going back to work. The thought of getting out of the house a few days a week seems nice, but the thought of leaving my babies with strangers makes me sick to my stomach. The extra money would help us but is it worth it. My ideal world would be to stay home with the kids until they are in school. My husband says we don't need the money but he is the one suggesting I go back a couple days a week. I know that in a month when my mat leave is up and I no longer get some money from the Goverment, things are going to start getting tight and we may have to start giving up some things that we enjoy doing.



So I guess my qustion is "Is money worth losing your sanity over?"

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I went through a similar situation when I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I both felt strongly that I needed to stay home and raise our baby myself. We didn't want a stranger to raise her, but at the same time money was going to get tighter. I was sick to my stomach (and not just because of the pregnancy) and I worried what was going to happen. Fortunaltey, I was able to continue working from home PT but my income was cut in half. This made us readjust our budget to fit the new income level and sure we've had to make some sacrifices - less eating out, less shopping for me - but I am so glad I stay at home with my little girl. If you are having such a struggle with going back, then maybe working with kids at home isn't for you. Some love it, some don't. Don't feel pressured by your husband to do it if you can financial make it with you at home. If he wants to help you have more social time and a break from the kids, maybe you can do a kid swap with another mom for a day off or maybe you can even join some mom groups to help with the adult interaction need. Whatever you decide, just remember that God will help you through it. He will never test you beyond what you can handle. :) 

[deleted account]

Well, if that is the question my answer would be no.  You said it would mean giving up some things you enjoy, but that isn't things you need.  I know that for many women it doesn't really get easier when they go back to work.  Every day is a struggle for them, but for others they get back into work and find that they don't mind being away from home so much.  It is normal to feel panic about it, but it does sound like you really don't want to go back to work.  Is your ideal world a real possibility?  If it means giving up some things that you don't really need then it may be worth it to stay home.  If it means things would be really difficult for you financially you may want to try going back to work.  Your husband may be suggesting you go back to work because he knows you enjoyed working?  Money is not worth your sanity.  Only you and your husband can really decide what is best, but if you can and want to stay home I would recommend it.   If you are able to go back to work for just a couple of days a week that may be best.  I love staying home with my daughter and I wouldn't change it for anything, but many women feel better getting out of the house without the kids a couple of times a week.  You could have the best of both worlds.  You could work two days a week and be a stay at home mom the majority of the time. 

12 Comments

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Katy - posted on 03/02/2009

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Hi!  I know how you feel.  My twins are now 4 & I have a 1 yr old daughter.  I went back to work when they twins were just 4 mo. & it was hard.  When my daughter came along it gave me even more incentive to question working in the office & leaving the kids all day.  I started selling Arbonne on the side & have now quit the full time job to stay home with the kids.  Staying home is definitely a lot more work, but is worth it!  I've found that having something of your own on the side is really a great break & gives you some much needed adult time w/out having to put the kids in daycare.  Arbonne has just made major changes to their compensation plan that allow you to earn more money faster!  If you are interested in something like that please let me know & I'd be happy to help you.  Either way, I think being home with the kids is important & in the long run is definitely worth the small sacrifices!

Rebecca - posted on 03/01/2009

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Hi Jennifer,
I love being able to be home with my two young kids - I never thought it would be this way before being a mom. I have found a great opportunity that helps people create safer, green environments for their families and bring in an income so that you don't have to cut out the things you enjoy. How can you go wrong helping others and being with your twins. Check out www.workathomeunited.com/rcm I would love to speak further!

Gia - posted on 03/01/2009

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Hi Jennifer! My name is Gia and i'm a stay at home mom of 3 children. It is very hard leaving your children especially if you have been home with them for so long. I decided to stay home 2 years ago because the amount of money that I put out for childcare cost sooo much money. It just wasn't worth it. Luckily I recently found a company that I feel real good about called AmeriPlan. I work as many or as little hours that i wish and make a little extra money. Feel free to visit my wesite at www.view4life.com. Good luck on trying to figure out what to do ;).

Wendy - posted on 02/27/2009

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Hi Jennifer,



I am also a SAHM with two young boys and recently began working from home.  It has really changed my life in more ways than one.  Financially and being able to work and still be able to have alot of quality time with my family.  If you would like more information, please visit my website at .



Hope to hear from you soon



Wendy

Tara - posted on 02/26/2009

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Hi Jennifer. I totally understand how you feel.  I felt the same way when I got pregnant with my daughter, so my husband and I talked it over and figured it was cheaper for me to stay at home (no daycare costs, no commute costs). We also looked into options for working at home.  I'm currently taking a course to do Medical Transcription at home (the course is super, well worth the course fees). We decided on this field because there seems to be good job opportunities and growth in it.  The course I'm taking is through Canscribe (CareerStep in the US), so check it out if you feel it would be worth looking into.



I'm currently pregnant with our second child (our daughter is 11 months now), and am really glad that I'm doing the course, as I know I will still be able to finish the course, and work, after I have our second one. 



TBH I would personally rather eat out less and raise my own kids, but it's an entirely personal choice.  There are options out there for you though, keep your chin up :D

User - posted on 02/13/2009

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Jennifer,



Take a look at my website...I felt the same way you do now....www.freedomathometeam.com/sriley.  Feel free to get in touch if it sounds interesting to you. Good luck and Best Wishes,Sarah

Katie - posted on 02/13/2009

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Hi Jennifer,
I went through the same thing with my husband, but we decided the money wasn't worth it! We lived paycheck to paycheck for a long time, but it was worth it to be home with my boys. I tried a few different home businesses and never found anything that worked for me. I spent a lot more money than I ever made. Just recently I found something that makes total sense though. I work from home, make my own hours, I don't have to sell products, carry inventory, deliver products, do home parties, collect money and best of all there's NO RISK! $29 to start & a 100% satisfaction guarantee! If you're not happy, you get your money back. I work with a company called Melaleuca: The Wellness Company, have you heard of it? They manufacture products that are safer for your home & family, environmentally responsible, effective, unique and exclusive AND a better value than name brands sold at the Grocery store, Target, Wal-Mart, etc. These products are fantastic and they save us money! Melaleuca is a company of integrity.
Our mission statement is:
"Enhancing the lives of those we touch by helping people reach their goals"
I think every mom needs to hear about this company, and the opportunity it brings to so many families. I've only given you a small introduction, and there's so much more. You really need to hear it for yourself and then decide if it's a good fit for you and your family. I think the greatest thing you can do as a mother is stay home with your kids...but why not do both? Stay home AND bring in some extra money.
I'd love to give you more information if you're interested, and I hope to hear from you soon!

-Katie Naylor
ktnaylor@gmail.com
www.yourfamilyfirst.com/naylor

Mandi - posted on 02/13/2009

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Hi Jennifer, i have 17 mo. old twin girls. I COMPLETELY understand how you feel. It made me sick to my stomach to think about it too and it was so hard to leave my girls at the daycare the 4 mo. that they were in one. My goal in staying home was to stay at home until my girls got in school too and then get a job with the school. What i did was, i started researching online work at home jobs. I found several that i was looking at but kept coming back to the one that i have started now. All Natural Mia Bella Gourmet Candles. Do you like candles? If you think about it, there's not very many people that don't. I was looking for something that i didn't have to leave my house to do and i found it. I do everything right from my computer. I LOVE IT!!!! I'm just not one of those gals that like to do parties. There is a low first month start up cost 49.95 - 399.95. It's up to you which one that you come in with. If this interest you, take a look at my website at www.twin-scents.com. Send me an email at twinscents@gmail.com with your questions. I look forward to HELPING YOU make YOUR DREAMS come true. There is NO PRESSURE. May God Bless!



Mandi

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One more thing... think about how you will view this 10, 20, or 30 years from now. Will you regret not having stayed home with your kids or will you regret not working to get that extra money? I think as a society we put too much emphasis on money and no enough on personal relationships. Just a thought...

Jini - posted on 02/13/2009

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I agree with Missy.  I don't think the extra money is worth it.  What price do you put on the two little children you are to raise?  You may just have to cut back on other things.  I have been very blessed with a husband that doesn't believe in me working.  My job is the house and the children and that is it.



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