worried about sexual abuse. or could this be normal? really long

Peggy - posted on 12/07/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Idk how to put all of this in a short way but I'll try. My daughter was 21/2 I had been asking if anyone has touched her because she said something odd. Turns out I just misheard her. But one night after this she told me"daddy touched my toot (vagina)"I told my husband about this and he was very upset and mad that I thought this happened. He ask our daughter if he touched her? She insisted "yes". The next day she said nobody has touched her. Another time she was outside riding a bike around my husband (her father) and his family. She came in the house with a packed diaper. I asked"why are you so red?" When I went to change her she was really red. She said"idk,the bike, then suck did" I tried to figure out if she ment "suck" but she kept saying "no" but kept repeating the word. I brushed it off. Recently (almost 4 now) she had a small bruise near her privates. It looked like she hit into something. I asked "how did you get that briuse?" She said" idk,I fell, you suck my toot(vagina) I think" I said "no I did not" later I asked" what sucking was? If anyone has sucked her ears?nose?eyes? And then I said anywhere else?" She seemed confused and told me "babies suck there thumb. And that nobody sucked her anywhere" her little brother sucks his thumb all the time. Another thing that happened (age 3) was she was playing with two dolls and said "their hanging out with their tounges out" I asked why? And if anyone has put their tounge on her anywhere?" She said"she didn't know why and yes someone did."then pointed to the doll and said "eyes,ears,mouth,nose,boobies,panties" so it seemed like maybe she was just trying to answer me. Because again she looked confused. So I brushed this off.maybe she was being silly. A week later she was sitting on the potty and said "I'm licking my toot(vagina)mommy" I asked if anyone did that to her?" She said"you did,daddy did,you did" it wasn't clear and it looked like she was just looking for a reaction. I called cps that day. Another thing that happened was after this I gave her a popcycle.I explained that was licking."has anyone licked you anywhere? " the only other one alone with her is her father so I asked "has dadyy licked you anywhere?" She said "no" a week later I was cleaning her with a wipe and she said"no daddy,no don't,just lick the popsycle" she said it like she was looking for a reaction again. I asked "did he do that?" She said "no" and walked away. Cps,doctors,therapy specialists with child behavior all say nothing happened. This is ruining my marriage and our family. Idk what to believe. Idk if I should take the kids from their daddy or work things out with him because their is no proof. I NEED help!?!? Everyone says she fine.why would she say this stuff? She likes to cuddle with her dad and she isn't afraid to be alone with him. She went through a time where she didn't want to cuddle with him around (age 2) but she stopped that. I figured it was a phase. But they get along great now. Please help!

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Maria - posted on 07/11/2013

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Hi, if the child indicated that something is happening you better listening. If the child was afraid and she is not now. It doesn't mean anything happened to her.
My son was afraid when he was little baby until four years old. After, he wanted to be with the dad all the time, I was thinking he loves his dad. I found out his father was molesting him. You better stars find evidences because in court the judges don't believe the woman who accuse the man, CPS either. I have being in court three times, and not body believes. LISTENING TO YOUR CHILD.

Jody - posted on 12/16/2012

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Had anything happened to u? I ask cuz i have tooken my boys (at the time i only had my 2 boys) them to the hospital cuz i suspected that my husband (kids dad) was doing something to then because my youngest said daddy touch me here. When i took them to the e.r they said they were fine. They asked me if something happened to me and i told them yes. I opened up to them. They said maybe i need help. They also said if somethimg my kids tell me to take them in for questioning cuz if u adk alot of questions and u confuse them and they tell u what u wanna hear. They told me there is programs such as good touch bad touch that teach kids when to say no and tell someone

Kris - posted on 12/08/2012

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Well, she could've come across an adult video and is just getting confused about the people in it. Replacing the strangers with people she knows, I can't think of what it's called, but it's becomming more and more common. Not with adult films, but replacing fake people with real people, and trying to live what they watched. They can become so fascinated and hypnotized by it, that they would rather live there, then in reality. She also could've over heard something, and when she heard "daddy", she could've thought it was her daddy.



Now that she's a little older, and more understandable, you could try talking to her about it, see if she remembers anything. If she looks at you like you're crazy, then she probly doesn't remember. But if she looks at you like she's scared or worried, tell her she needs to tell you so you can make sure it doesn't happen to another little girl, and that you'll protect her and love her no matter what she says, but you need the truth. Don't push too hard, or she could end up suppressing it, and then no one will ever know anything.



My daughter told me last year(school year), that a boy was saying things that made her uncomfortable. She tends to be dramatic and make stuff up, so I figured it was just something like "you're stupid", you know, typical mean boy behavior. Well, a couple weeks later, she came to me and said he was doing it again. So I told her to tell him to knock it off and to leave her alone. When she came to me a 3rd time, I didn't think it was typical boy stuff anymore, so I asked what he was saying. Turns out, he was saying things like "take off your pants, spread your legs, and give me an hour". This was 5th grade btw. She told me that, and I nearly flew off the handle. I asked her a bunch of questions about him, and what he was saying, and so on. Well, we talked to the principal, she investigated, and it turns out that he was only repeating what he heard an older boy saying. He didn't even know what any of it meant. When the principle told me that part, I told her to tell the boy's parents that I said if I ever hear of him doing or saying anything like this again, I'm going to cps, and reporting them for negligence, because obviously they aren't monitoring who he's hanging around. She just looked at me, I think she was trying not to laugh lol. But my point, is that I always told my kids that they can talk to me about anything, doesn't matter what it is. They can trust me, and I will always listen to them. So they feel comfortable enough talking to me about things. Except my son. He doesn't like talking to mommy about his boy parts because "I don't have any, so I don't know anything about it" lol, but he talks to me about other stuff. So keep assuring her that she is and will be safe, and she won't get in trouble, even if it wasn't true.



Hope everything turns out ok, and that she just misunderstood something!

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