Worrying about daughter and seeing violence at gma and gpa's house.

Augusta - posted on 04/22/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 3.5, she sometimes goes to my MIL's house for the weekend. My husband's brother still lives there and there are constant fights over there between my MIL, FIL, and him. Recently when Kennedy came home, she told me that her gma was hitting and yelling at her uncle! I was astonished that she had heard, seen, and knew about what happened!! My MIL has always told me that if anything was to happen that she would take her outta the house right away! Come to find out that DID NOT HAPPEN!! I have been hesitant to send her over there because of that outburst. I know if I was to say something to her she would automatically blame me for it and it would be all my fault... etc etc. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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Erin - posted on 04/22/2010

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I would talk to your MIL. If your husband is not around much then unfortunately the burdon falls on your shoulders. I have told my husband to not say yes to anything his mom asks until he talks to me and we can get on the same page about things. I would also tell my MIL that unless the fighting and hitting stops then my child isnt going to come over. Put it in a way that is like...she looks up to grandma so much because she loves her and she wants to be like her so if she sees her hitting and yelling then your daughter will too. Try to build it up so she cant get mad. You know compliment to death before tearing back down....good luck!!

Augusta - posted on 04/22/2010

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Thanks girls! Here is the deal though, I have talked with my husband and he is all for talking it out with his mom and dad, yet when the time has come to do so... he doesn't say a damn word, pardon my french! His parents are the type of people that it's there way or it's always someone blaming them for doing something wrong and they play the oh poor me poor me card ALL THE TIME! Agreed on normal behavior, thanks Joan! Lately, everytime I say no to something he says yes. It is really upsetting because my husband is an OTR truck driver and gone 95 % of the month. He is not here to call the shots or even know what is going on from day to day, so I feel that I am being taking advantage of when his mom calls him to ask after I say no or haven't even heard about the situation!

Stevie - posted on 04/22/2010

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talk to your husband about it and have him speak to his parents and brother about it but i think you shoulld be there also but i wouldnt let her go back either until you can deff tell something has changed

Joan - posted on 04/22/2010

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you need to talk to your husband and come to a decision that is in your daughters best interest. i would not want to send her back ,because she is going to learn this as normal behavior.

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