Young mommy who wishes for freedom

Xo, Mimi - posted on 05/14/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )




I feel like I should walk away, I feel as if I'm trap. I spend all my day with my doll but today I really wanted to go out with my two bestfriends I asked my bf to look after my doll since she was sleeping and he was just gonna stay home, well that's what I thought. As I was getting ready he told me to take her and I said no that I wanted to be alone with my friends plus she was sleeping and he said that he wanted to go out also and that he didn't want to look after her. To me it seems whenever I want to go out he doesn't want to look after her or he makes excuses so i just stay home. But he starts screaming and talks a lot of bs such as I always want to leave her when ever I want to go; which is really never. I'm always out with him or us 3 but never really alone or with my friends. Now, whenever I say I'm going out he tells me that he's not going to give me money. Which makes me really upset bc he's not supposed to be that way towards me. I wish I can just go get a job work all day and just come home and sleep but then again I have a daughter who I love and needs time and care. Is it bad that I sometimes wish I can just walk away from the relationship and never look back?? I feel as if I'll be more free I mean it's not like he looks after her whenever I want time alone, it's usually my younger sister or my mother. But then again, I love him.
But I'm starting to just not care. Which breaks my heart. I usually avoid all arguments and let him win. I just feel mentally drain. I cried sometimes while I shower bc that's when I feel free or when he's not home.
I want to be happy. But what I desire the most is to have my bf help me out just a little. Or ima just find myself packing everything and leaving.

A young mother who wishes for freedom.

ps. I know many of you will tell me to get a part time but I can't I'm a student with a visa therefore I'm not allowed to work but just focus in school which I'll be starting soon


View replies by

Jessica - posted on 05/22/2013




Personal experience says...
It's not going to get any better.
Decide whether or not its worth it now, before you invest 11 years into a marriage where your partner walks all over you on a daily basis & feels as if it's his right.
Also, that baby will grow up faster than you think...
You want her to think that's how a relationship is supposed to be?

Alicia - posted on 05/20/2013




you dont need that crap leave and dont look back. if its his baby too then he need to 'parent' NOT 'babysit' you dont need that crap. shape up or ship out buddy. i said it to my husband. you dont need that. and as for your friends if you cant go out and have fun with them and baby too then thats not a good friend. there are plenty of things that you and your friends and baby can do together. but i do understand about needing 'me' time. sometimes my 'me' time is doing laundry at the laundrymat. i take a book buy a drink and do the laundry. otherwise my kids go everywhere with me and i have three. i would seriously think about the relationship with your partner. you dont need that in what should be the best time of your life.

Jeramie - posted on 05/20/2013




It is really hard when you have an emotionally unsupportive partner. If he is unwilling to listen to your problems or concerns and help you out, then maybe you should consider finding a way out for yourself. You can try to talk to him, get him to understand. but if he refuses to, then you might be better off without him. Don't stay with him just because you feel like you have to, or for your child's sake. If he is worth anything, he can still be a father to your child if you leave him. that's what child-support and visitation are for.

Jennifer - posted on 05/18/2013




This does not seem like a relationship that you should be in. You should have someone who supports you and wants to help you out. You may love him but make sure you are not putting more into the relationship than what you will get back

Lyndee - posted on 05/18/2013




Hi there,

I am sorry to hear you are having issues with your partner. It is not unreasonable for you to want the occasional bit of 'time-off' from your baby and your partner should be supportive of you. It sounds to me as if he has control issues with you- is there anywhere you can go for independent support or advice? It is not acceptable for him to threaten you with withdrawal of money etc. Have you raised this issue with your partner? This relationship will not work out if it carries on this way and maybe he needs to be told that? You have every right to happiness and you need to figure out a course of action to get back on that path.

Heather - posted on 05/14/2013




I never go out with my friends, I just ask them to come over to my house and bring their kids! we have such a good time sharing ideas and giving advice and the kids have fun too! I love being a mommy though, I've never really been the type to "go out" plus I'm a grown-up...

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