Step Mom throwing a baby shower

Texas - posted on 08/14/2012 ( no moms have responded yet )

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First let me say Hi to everyone! I am so excited to have found this site I hope to get lot's of advice and opinions!

Ok here is my dilemma. I am hosting my step-daughters baby shower this is our first grandchild (she was so excited to tell me about how young I am to be a grandmother!) by first grandchild I mean for both my husband and me. I have my daughter and my other two daughters assisting with everything so really we are throwing it together. The question I have is that my step-daughter said "My mom is coming to the baby shower" not I want to invite my mom but she is coming.

Maybe I should have started out with the mother has not been around very much and keeps disappearing when my husband and I married he had and has always had custody of his children. I love them like they are my own. When we found the mother we packed the kids up to go see her and then she moved back to the same town. She hadn't lived in the same town as her children for a very long time. As long as my step daughter (my oldest) allowed her to live with her she stayed put I'd say about maybe 2 years. Those were 2 very tough years for me but that's another story! When my oldest said no more (she's very independent) the mother went from man to man. Then disappeared with an occasioanl call to her children. She moved to another city and lives about 8 hours from her children that live here. My oldest moved to a bigger city before she was preganant for better job opportunities another reason i'm throwing the baby shower is all her friends are still here. Sorry for being so long winded but the mother is a piece of work, got mixed up with drugs and now is remarried to a man who has a long record. I have not told the children what I have discovered about him. I do not talk ill about her and never have except when she lies to the children.

So now my question is. The mother is remarried now is it appropriate for me to allow my husband to tell her it's time she introduced her children to her new family? She is posting all about her new husband's grandchildren (they've been married less than a year) My husband wants to tell her to host her own baby shower (i'm in complete agreement and so is my MIL)

I didn't mean for my first post to be so long! I hope someone does read it. I could go on for forever on things she has done or hasn't been there before but I would really like my oldest's baby shower to be all about her and not her mother as she usaully tries to take over. She has already told my oldest of her family members that won't come to the shower but should receive an invitation.....

Thanks for any advice!

And I would love friends!

Deborah

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