BM tell my SD,"I can kill your Step Mom If I Wanted To."

Sonya - posted on 10/21/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )




Now this isn't your ordinary question ladies nor is this a joke because I was kinda shocked about this myself. So this past weekend was my SS birthday and this year he wanted to go hunting with his grandpa so he was gone for most of the day well pretty much all day he gave us a call when he came back to his grandpa's house and we told him happy birthday and we would see him after-school on Monday because is was so late already...any-whoo Monday comes and My SD she's 10 now tells me she saw her Mom on her brothers birthday outside in front of their grandma's house because I guess BM went to grandma's house to give my SS a birthday gift and when both my kiddos ran outside to talk to thier Mom she told my SD to go inside because it wasn't her birthday :( So she runs inside and gets her Mom's dog and brings it back outside and Bm says go put my dog back inside and my SD says no shes not your dog, BM says well your my daughter so you have to listen to me, my SD tells her Im not your daughter ! BM says you know I could kill Sonya if I wanted to, then my SD ran in the house crying and when she told her granparents about what happend grandpa threw all her stuff out on the front porch and told her to get out and to not come back.

( She has been living there off and on and I guess they don't want her to come and live with them anymore.) Now my first reaction was like HUH ?? the reason why BM said this is because of what my SD said and I really think that since BM is on drugs and not comming around much and when she comes around she treats my SD like a friend rather than a daughter, but my husband and I also told my SD that no matter what your BM does or how she acts or whatever situation she is in, you always need to respect her because #1 she's your Mom and #2 she's and adult ....and you were raised better than that and shes always going to be your Mom regardless. But my SS wrote a note telling me the same thing he didn't even want to say it because he didn't feel right saying what his BM said so I kept the note he wrote me but what can I do with this just store it in my records or what action do I take from here ??? This women has never threatend me at all this is a first in 5 years?? I am kinda lost ?? My husband told me lastnight because we talked about this matter and he told me that my SD told her daddy that she wishes I was her real Mom and she doesn't want her BM to be her Mom.....but she doesn't have a choice in that I always tell her I am here for her as a Mom as a friend and I am not going anywhere in her life but sometimes I wish there was more that I could do ..... What do you ladies think ??


[deleted account]

I think you need to keep the note with all your other documentation, as well as writing down everything that was said to you (by your sd). Then, as a precautionary measure, I would also have your sd write it all down using as much detail as possible. I know this is a first threat, but it is a serious one and it needs to be addressed. If you really feel threatened that comment may even be enough for a restraining order against the bm (if you want to take it that far).

As for your sd wishing you were her mom instead of her bm, I think that (in some cases) it can be completely normal. My daughter tells me that all the time. She once told me, "I think I love you more as my mommy and my other mom, you know, the one in Kansas, as my friend. Is that okay?" I told her that was fine (she only ses her bm for 2 weeks every 3 months and bm rarely calls between visits), but she needs to remember that her bm is her mother and needs to be respected. I did not say it was wrong for my daughter to feel the way she does (becasue I can completely understand it), but it did tell her that the respect needs to be there (even though my hubby and I have absolutely no respect for the bm).

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