Child support

Heather - posted on 03/05/2009 ( 38 moms have responded )

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Just a qustion.... me finaces ex wife is taking him for back bills back to o5 medical he is suppose to pay 1/2.. how can she go back so far.. shes paid them all already. hes not a mind reader she doesnt tell him when she takes them to court.. crap we cant even see the kids report cards.. i dont get it they go to court on the 19th... it is frustrating because times are hard here we are struggling to put diapers on my childs butt more less back medical bills that are back to 05 that add up to almost 4000 dollars.. she was suppose to carry medical insurance and wasnt. how is he resposiable for it i jus tdont get it? anyone know anything... thanks all

38 Comments

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Heather - posted on 03/27/2009

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oo yea well we did and the judge just to my fiance to carry the insurance.. nothing was done... its bs.. but what do i kno they dropped his childsupport and now shes moving back to another state cuz she thinks it will go up.. how childish is that.. i dont get it..

Natasha - posted on 03/27/2009

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Quoting Heather:

we have to pay 86. a mon toward braces and 75 a mon till the rest is paid.. we cant afford to eat now and that grubbin bitch gets more money.. they dont care she wasnt carrying insurance... i dont understand



Your hubby need to file contempt charge against her for violating court order regarding medical insurance. Read the decree of divorce and make sure that is what she was suppose to do. He so needs to file the contempt charge against her. Why don;t you guys consult with the lawyer. Just bring all your papers in adn see what the lawyer reccomends. you dont have to hire the lawyer just consult with him/her. I think your hubby can still file the contempt of court charge against her.



 



I feel your pain. i am in the same shoes here. My hubby pays monthly payments for back childcare (to his ex-mother-in-law :() So, I know it sucks. However, study the decree of divorce and see if you can find anything that you believe was violated by her in the past or present and keep a log of it. Filing contempt of court charge is easy and you don't need a lawyer, and it can get her in a lot of trouble. If I were you I would file contempt charge after contempt charge every time she violates the court order (refusing visiations, not maintaining health insurance, not paying her share, etc).

Heather - posted on 03/27/2009

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barb it doesnt the judge told my fiance that he might work 6 days a week but get something for sunday...well then they bitch cuz hes never home during w/them then my daughter is w/ out money n her dad..makes no sense to me.....some moms there kids are just a pay check

Barb - posted on 03/26/2009

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I wish they would really take a long hard look at child support.  In a lot of cases it just doesn't seem fair. 

Jennifer - posted on 03/26/2009

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I'm pretty sure mine do know but she is still their mother and they defend her no matter what!

Heather - posted on 03/26/2009

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ikno what umean jennifer. but his kids havent realised yet how there mother really is..

Jennifer - posted on 03/26/2009

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I feel you Heather. My husband has to pay for his one daughter and she is with us 90% of the time. Meanwhile he owns his own business and hasn't taken home a paycheck in 6 months. I was home with my 2 daughters and his daughter but was forced to go back to work. Now I am paying his child support and barely paying our bills. Not to mention my 22 year old ss who lived with us as well. To be quite honest with you I love the kids but I can not wait until my sd is 18 so I don't have to deal with the ex anymore, she is truly a piece of work!!!!!!

Heather - posted on 03/26/2009

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jennifer our judge said it didnt matter that she was suppose to and wasnt carrying insurance. they didnt care so you got lucky... now she only has 30 days to pay us back but it doesnt say anything in the parenting plan so i dunno how to inforce that the judge just told her 30 days. so who knows.. but now it has to go to wv cuz we both reside in wv. and thats where she was suppose to go in the 1st place but im thinking she knows someone in va.... i just dont get these mothers god for bid something happends between me and my fiance i want him to be a dad my child isnt a pay check so i can go out.

Franny - posted on 03/26/2009

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If he is suppose to pay for 1/2 of medical and has not yes she can go back as far as she needs to for payment.

Kimberly - posted on 03/26/2009

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It will be an uphill battle for sure. One way to stop that type of abuse is to have the parenting plan revised (through court) unfortunately.... and hav ethem put in their that he is not repsponsible for bills that are not presented to you within 30 days of the appointement time. One other caveat is she may take the kids to every doctor under the sun... so be aware of that. If he has shared custody he should be involved in that decision making. As far as the school report card is concerned... you can get the child's report card from the school without even asking her because he is the childs father. That is something she cannot control.

Jennifer - posted on 03/26/2009

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Going through the same thing...only from 2004 through current. Since she was supposed to carry insurance and wasn't ...that was probably included in the support she was awarded. Talk to your attorney if he was paying support that covered medial...she may end up owing him that money back. That's what is happening with us. Ex did not have health insurance for 2 years and we were paying her $142 a month for it. Now she is going to have to pay that back to us. Also I've learned from experience DO NOT PAY FOR ANYTHING IN CASH. Luckily I had all my bank record for the past 5 years proving every dime we ever paid to her or for anything involving the children...trust me this will come in very handy. She was unable to prove any of the money that was spent on the children!!!! Good Luck

Heather - posted on 03/26/2009

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we got the exact amount yesterday i knew it was at least 3000. wow... was i mad when i got that in the mail

Heather - posted on 03/26/2009

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well we have to pay back 3156.16 which is 75 dollars to his ex wife till its paid of which kills me. then 86 dollars a month to her 10 year old daughters braces that total 6600. so we are in debt to our eye balls.. it kills me but on a good note we went to have child support re evaled and it went down to 1/2 so we are still in debt but not as bad.... i jsut dont understand why some people get so much and others cant get anything.... but nywhoo thanks everyone for everything

Jennifer - posted on 03/25/2009

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Your court date happened already but I thought I would tell you our story.



 



My DH went to court representing himself!  Pro Se.  We did all the reserch and filed all the paperwork.  It costed us a total of maybe $100.  My DH now has Shared Placement with Joint Custody with with BM.  His Support is down to $72 a week.  DH has every right to see everything that has to do with there son together.



 



What happened with the court?  Did he have to pay half of all that?  If the courts were decent they would tell the BM that she had a certain amount of time to get that info to BF to help pay those bills.

Casey - posted on 03/21/2009

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every state is different but we have custody of my ss and his mother is taking us back to court to see if she can get him. we are filing for more support bc she only pays $30 a week and has only done so for a year out of the 10 he's been alive. we carry insurance on him and we are taking her back for past medical from 06. in arkansas its allowed, but i'm not sure what your laws are. we are doing it bc she never paid for anything at all. she doesnt even bother with him unless it s her weekend. no phone calls, no nothing. just contact an attorney or look up your states laws.

Heather - posted on 03/20/2009

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yea stephanie i kno ur pain hunnie thats what i said yesterday was how come i dont care about doing with out but what did my daughter do to deserve to be with out while shes bringing in good money plus good child support and i have no job cant find one and my fiance is cut back to 30 hrs which only pays his child support and now the bills back to her its depressing and not even right.. i just dont get it people are self centered she gave a sob story to the judge about how she cant make it that time are hard.. hard my @$$ she makes 30 thousand a year gets 7400 a year from my fiance plus gets daycare assistance plus gets 3000 in back medical bills plus get off scott free while my finace has to pay the rest on the braces and struggling my ass... i just dont get these mothers... and my finance said he couldnt get the kids cuz he couldnt feed them and she was like not my faught and laughed.. good luck ladies i hope karma kicks in soon

Stephanie - posted on 03/20/2009

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I feel your pain, my thing right now is, my husband is laid off, but she still gets child support, yet if they were together, she wouldn't be getting anything. How is it fair, that I have to pay the child support. What about my daughter. I didn't do anything wrong, and my daughter sure hasn't. yet she's going to suffer because of the B***** that takes our money, and gets a new cell phone, and goes tanning. Sorry. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Heather - posted on 03/20/2009

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k it just makes me mad that she can go back to 05 but will he be able to prolly not...

Teresa - posted on 03/19/2009

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No, I don't think it's too late. If it's in your divorce papers, you'll have to file a contempt charge in family court. You may have to contact an attorney. You may be able to find one who will work for you at no charge until you are paid by BM.

Heather - posted on 03/19/2009

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nope the judge said thats not what they were there for. she was nasty... have a question for everyone tho.. when they got divorced in 05 she refinanced to get his name off the house was suppose to give him 1/2 and didnt is it to late to go back.. im done playing nice??

Teresa - posted on 03/19/2009

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I'm sorry Heather! That really sux. Was that all that happened? Was there any amendment to his parenting plan?

Heather - posted on 03/19/2009

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we have to pay 86. a mon toward braces and 75 a mon till the rest is paid.. we cant afford to eat now and that grubbin bitch gets more money.. they dont care she wasnt carrying insurance... i dont understand

Teresa - posted on 03/18/2009

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Quoting Heather:

we go tom so to late for all that hes going to bring all that up shes not getting an attorny either so we will see.. im prayin for the best we cant pay all this but u know


Make sure you let us know what happens! Good luck!



-Teresa

Heather - posted on 03/18/2009

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we go tom so to late for all that hes going to bring all that up shes not getting an attorny either so we will see.. im prayin for the best we cant pay all this but u know

Natasha - posted on 03/18/2009

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If she did not carry health insurance than it is violation of court order (decree of divorce) and then your hubby should file the contempt charge against her. She might end up paying your atterny fees along with whatever the medical bills are. Have your hubby look into it and also tell your atturney to file contempt charge against her. At the end, he will not have to pay anything...

Teresa - posted on 03/17/2009

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Quoting Heather:

women... sehs in there divorce and parenting plan she was suppose to carry insurance on the kids which she wasnt.... and they are suppose to 50/50 the bills.... i just dont get women if me n my finace dont work out i want him to help yes but not make it so he cant live my daughter deserves a dad not me deserve a paycheck.... my step mom said that she doesnt need more money making what she does and getting from my fiance and her 1st husband what she does she needs birth control and a financle advisor lol.... omg it makes me so mad.. now he called yesterday to tell her that his deductable went up to 3500 ont he kids she threw a fit.. and said then they will just go tback on medicaide hes suppose to carry ins.. further more what does a person that makes 30,000 a year plus gets 8000 ayear from him adn 300 a mon from her 1st husband. need state assistance for???


Techically, income from a former spouse is not considered income according to the governement. The person paying support (either child or spousal) is responsible for taxes. It's a messed up system for sure!

Heather - posted on 03/17/2009

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women... sehs in there divorce and parenting plan she was suppose to carry insurance on the kids which she wasnt.... and they are suppose to 50/50 the bills.... i just dont get women if me n my finace dont work out i want him to help yes but not make it so he cant live my daughter deserves a dad not me deserve a paycheck.... my step mom said that she doesnt need more money making what she does and getting from my fiance and her 1st husband what she does she needs birth control and a financle advisor lol.... omg it makes me so mad.. now he called yesterday to tell her that his deductable went up to 3500 ont he kids she threw a fit.. and said then they will just go tback on medicaide hes suppose to carry ins.. further more what does a person that makes 30,000 a year plus gets 8000 ayear from him adn 300 a mon from her 1st husband. need state assistance for???

Natasha - posted on 03/16/2009

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If you have to pay a chunk of money back to her it will be put in a "judgment". My husband told the judge he could not pay the whole amount back at once and requested to make payments of $50.00 per month for 50 months to pay $2,500.00 off....The judge thought it was reasonable, accept the fact that my husband is already paying over $800 per month in childcare, child support, life insurance, medical bills, and medical insurance...So the judge put in the judgment for my hubby to make $50.00 payments until it;s paied off in full. The only crappy part about "judgments" is that they go on your credit report and remain there until you pay it off.

Natasha - posted on 03/16/2009

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My husband's parenting plan states any out of pocket medical expenses (after insurance) for more than $500.00 have to be approved (in writing) by the other parent. I would reccommed he reviews the decree of divorce along with the parenting plan, and possibly tries to modify it. My hubby modified his parenting plan less than two years later after their divorce. Have him look into that option...



It's pretty upsetting, isn't it? My hubby's ex took him to court (before the modification) for back child care, and he ended up paying $2500.00. Yes, he is obligated to pay 56% of childcare bill, and no he was not paying it because the bills were coming from his formar mother-in-law. It's along story...She knew he did not have any money, but frankly, she did not give rat's a** about it! Yeah, unfortunately some ex's are just plain evil and revengful. It is almost like she is sitting there and waiting for my hubby to screw up (money wise) so she can take him to court for more money....

Tara - posted on 03/16/2009

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Unfortunatly mothers are like that sometimes. I am going through the same thing with a monster of a woman that my husband had kids with. Shes on all the state aid she can get her hands on, and since she is...the Judge is going her way. Long story short, there is a way around that stuff. Just do the research and talk to the court clerk, they may be able to help you.

Heather - posted on 03/07/2009

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they are going to family court... it doesnt say a time frame and we already took her for the medical insurance seh told the judge that it was un reasonable thru her employer well... they are going for a re eveal cuz im tired of her getting all my daughters money and not spending it on the kids.... and they showed us her pay stubbs and her unreasonable insurance was is 19.something every two weeks for herself.. what ever unresaonable whats unreasonable is the 289 a month we pay for his kids on insurance while we cant afford ot have to new born on it because it goes up to 398 a mon so i had to go get medicaide. which is BS... i just dont understand my mom raised me just fine with no childsupport...... whats the problem.. i think dads should pay but i think that it should go to the kids not to cigs her hair her new bfs truck her nose pierced and shitlike that... come on... but i guess on the 19th ill know the outcome.. i hope we odnt have to coem up with a huge chunk of change cuz we cant :(

Teresa - posted on 03/06/2009

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Oh, one other thought - if you're forced to pay, make sure that you can pay the court or the doctor directly. If she has bad credit, she's likely to use the money for a trip to the salon or something.

Teresa - posted on 03/06/2009

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Do you have a copy of the parenting plan? My DH's specifically states that she has 30 days of the doctor visit to present the bills, and we have 30 days from that day to pay her back. As in your situation, my SS's mom is required to keep health insurance. One time, when she was between jobs,  she allowed the insurance to lapse and my SS needed health care. She had to foot the bill, we said no way would we pay, but she never pursued it in court.



Are you going to family court or small-claims court? That would make a difference as well. If it's family court, and they make you pay, make sure that you get a 30-day stipulation added to your parenting plan. If it's small-claims court, she probably won't be awarded anything, except maybe what 1/2 of the co-pay would have been if she had kept insurance.



GL and let us know what happens.

Christine - posted on 03/05/2009

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Ridiculous...I don't get it either. I really find it frustrating that the court system still favors the mother for everything, even if it is not in the overall best interest.

Heather - posted on 03/05/2009

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hey hun yea we found out and took her to court for that so now we are paying extra for insurance for his 2 kids and now have to reimburse her on the medical bills to.. i just dont understand why people cant be civil.. anything for a dollar i guess

Kerri - posted on 03/05/2009

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Heather.  I agree with Jamie's advice.  Also is it in the divorce agreement that the mother is to carry insurance on the children?  Did you guys know that there was no insurance on the children?  If not, maybe the judge will take that into consideration and not require full reimbursement

Jamie - posted on 03/05/2009

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My advice, check your local court system they may have advisors, basically attorneys that work pro bono and will give you advice just wont represent you in court. Also, if you want the kids report cards your husband has every right to call the school they attend and request these. Just like can call the childrens doctors and get records.  When you go to court they more then likely will award her the costs of the medical bills, as to how much i dont know. Ask that a judgment be made against father and that a small amount say $40 a month is added to his childsupport to cover these since bio mom waited so long to bring them to your attention. Also, have the judge stipulate that bio must submit all requests for reimbursmenet within 30days of the receipt and that you will then submit payment within 30 upon the request. If she doesnt do it within 30 days that she forfeit her reimbursement. I only know this part cause my husbands ex did the same thing. granted it was just medicine co-pay for 2 years, but still I was liek are you serious. But like I said check with your local court. I know in Arizona there are people to help at a lil to no fee. Hope this helps.

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