Im having troubles with my step-sons attitude, how do I help him

Amber - posted on 04/07/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have a step-son who turns 2 in May. We share custody 50/50 custody of him with his mother. He has an attitude problem really bad. He screams at me, my husband, and our 2 girls at the top of his lungs. He smacks people when he is mad and keeps throwing things. I dont know quite how to handle this because last time it was kinda easy but then he returned to his mother for four months and its 10 times worse now. He keeps saying F*^% YOU when you tell him no. PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE

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Nickie - posted on 04/09/2010

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For a 2 year old..I would say that he is picking up the F word and smacking and things from someone he learned it from. You might want to look into the environment he is in with his mother. The other thing I was going to say is that I remember when my step-son was 2 and we had him every weekend. He might be getting confused about being passed back and forth. You know, he's just getting settled into a new environment when he's picked up and moved again. It's not fair to him. So...because you are a step-mom, and unfortuantly we all know we can't make decisions as to where the child will be from what time frame to what time frame..The best thing you can do is just try to guide him gently in the right direction. Don't get too frustrated with his actions, but definitely tell him that it's not proper for him to do some of things he's doing. Also, try having either you or your husband talk to the Biological Mother. It doesn't help anything if the communication lines aren't open. Maybe he's not doing these things when he's with her. Maybe he is..and needs some type of counseling. Good luck..

Melanie - posted on 04/08/2010

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two is hard no matter what! but be consistent and he will learn what is appropriate at your house...treat all the kids the same with same consequences and let him see that the other two have consequences... if they are old enough have them "pretend to act out " and let him see them model perfect timeout behavior... 2 y. o.s love to model big kids and make sure each timeoout ends with an apology and a hug...watch supernanny she has great ideas for assimulating blended families lots of hugs and love!

Marili - posted on 04/08/2010

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It is such a difficult and fragile situation. He is only 2 yrs old and MOST 2 yr olds are very difficult and full of tantrums. Be consistent and if neccessary a smack on the bum. Believe me it will get better but most of all be PATIENT. He probably heard the swearing from his mother or somewhere and now he uses those words. I dont think he really knows that it is wrong. Try to stay friendly and patient even if you feel like screaming. Good luck!!!

Megan - posted on 04/07/2010

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Consistency is key. If you have not already explained the rules, you can't expect him to follow them (not saying you haven't). My daughter is two and I have had great success with time-outs. Kids that age are such fast learners and it may only take a few times to get the point across. The way I do it is, if a rule is broken she gets one warning, then time-out for two minutes. If she leaves her chair she gets put back without my saying a word to her and the two minutes starts fresh. When the timer goes off I explain why she was in time-out, ask her if she understands, tell her I love her, and give her a hug. I don't allow hitting, throwing, or bad language (although my daughter has not picked up anything other than "shut up", which we took care of right away. I'm so sorry your SS is hearing such foul language.)

Also, your husband should ideally be the one doling out the punishments, although I know that's not always possible. I hope I helped.

Michelle - posted on 04/07/2010

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Beat His Ass!!!! Sorry...but that is unacceptable behavior for a 2 year old. What is his father doing about it? No offense but it sounds like this child is allowed to act this way....and he's only 2!!!!!! I really cant give you advice because my 2 boys have never given me a problem....then again Im pretty firm and strict. I would be concerned about how he is allowed to act while he is with his mother. But all in all....he will continue to act this way as long as he is being allowed. Sorry...but I know the whole "Beat His Ass" comment sounded very harsh.....and I dont mean for you to beat him literally....Im just saying, if he were MY son, he would say f*#k you to me ONCE!!! I have a "routine" I go through when I spank either of my kids.....I wont pop them more than 3 times and I NEVER spank out of anger. EVER!!!!! And now, spanking is a rare happening.

Betty - posted on 04/07/2010

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Just set some boundries and stick to them. He is old enough for a time out. Just be consistant and try to make his time with you fun as possible between his little melt downs. He is only two, he really can't understand that what he is doing is bad so I wouldn't agree that he has a bad attitude.

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